Til Kingdom Come
by Kisilee
Summary: Finnick and Annie were best friends- Annie is positive there is nothing between them. What happens when that thinking changes? Soap Opera-ey. Ranges from when Finnick first gets sent to the arena to their 20's. Focusing on their untold story.- R&R
1. Chapter 1

**Weelll heeellooooooo Fanfiction world! I am back! You see, dear reader, if you click on that little author "Kisilee" URL, you will see that this is supposedly my "first story." Well. It's not. I had another account (Kizilee- with a 'Z'), but I forgot my password and that certain e-mail doesn't work anymore. Check those stories out too :P**

**ANYWAYS, I have recently become obsessed with the possibilities of Finnick and Annie. So I decided to make an epic Fanfiction about them. AH. YES. Adn also- I would just like to say, that the third book will not happen. Ever. I fucking hated that book. Sorry. But I hated it. I may use parts from it, but otherwise, it will NEVER HAPPEN. FINNICK MUST LIVVEEEE.**

**So anyways, I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: SUCK IT SUZANNE COLLINS I OWN THIS BITCH. lol jk... I love your books.. but I don't own them. If i did the third book would have made sense. The end.**

**Chapter 1**

My best friend's name is Finnick Odair. I met him because we went to the same camp from 11-14 years old. We became best friends because of some mean girls in our unit, and we were there to hold each other when we cried- literally. But how we fell in love? That's a long story.

When I first met Finnick, I was 11 years old, and it was my first year at the camp. You see, the Capitol funds 4-week camps like the one I went to, so we can learn how to fish and make netting for our district.

In my 11-year-old point of view, Finnick Odair was a forgettable person. He was funny and not terrible looking; but forgettable. We didn't really take much time in those 4 weeks to get to know each other. It was strictly separated- girls and boys. Girls and boys COULD NOT be good friends, or else they would be accused of dating. And that was not cool.

The next year, I could barely remember his name.

How did he come from the boy whose name I could barely remember to my best friend in a mere matter of weeks? Well, it all started on a warm summer day, when I went back to my camp for my third year on the other side of the district, Camp Tridenti.

Camp Tridenti was a gorgeous little camp, not too expensive (perfect for my family- we were on the poorer side of District 4) and had only about 80 people in the entire camp. It was extremely small for one of these camps, which is why I loved it so much!

It was sitting right next to the ocean, and there was even a long wooden dock that if you weren't careful, could give you splinters the size of toothpicks. Ouch.

In the middle of the camp, was the Dining Hall. On the outside, it looked like some sort of cabin; wooden and run-down. On the inside, it was memories.

The names of units that had graduated from the camp covered the walls. The floors were covered in muddy footprints that the staff gave up on cleaning. On both sides of the Dining Hall, were the cabins; boys on the left, girls on the right. They each had 5 cabins. Of course, my cabin was the smallest and farthest away. Again.

From an outsider's view, it looked like absolute shit. To me, it was beautiful.

So that 3rd summer when my best friend became Finnick, I was 13 years old. I was so excited to come back and see all of my friends, and meet new ones! I saw Finnick and began to brush him off, as I usually did, as the guy who had dirty blonde hair and told equally dirty jokes.

But when I gave him a second glance, it was different. _He_ was different. People were gathered around him, and then I remembered who had won the 65th Hunger Games that past year.

Mr. Finnick Odair.

I didn't immediately fall in love with him, as almost all of the girls in my unit did, but I was drawn to him. This year he wasn't as cocky, he was more… silent. Silent and alluring. I wanted to get to know this tortured soul. Not for romantical purposes, I just wanted to know… him. Who he was, what he had gone through.

Our camp director called him out him in front of our unit and told everyone that he didn't want to be treated differently, because he was the same person before he first went into the Hunger Games.

That last sentence was completely untrue. He was different this year. And I was drawn to him like a magnet. We talked and grew closer over the past week, and my days with Finnick seemed to fly by.

Then, our weekly trip outside of camp came. We were to hike 10 miles until we got the ocean, and then canoe to the middle, sleep in our canoes, and then learn hot to deep-sea fish. Then we were to sleep back at the mainland and then hike back to camp.

I caught a 2-foot catfish, while Finnick caught a one-foot sea bass. It was a productive day.

The next night, we all slept at the mainland under tarps- actual tents were way to expensive. The boys and girls were allowed to sleep near each other, and so I slept under the same tarp as Finnick and some other of my friends.

They were talking about the rough times in their lives. I mainly listened, gave advice or pity when it was needed, but I was mostly there for support, not input.

Suzanne had to go through some major friend problems, entailing having to go to an entirely new school, 3 miles away from her house. She had to get up every morning at 5 just so she would be able to get to school.

Jack had lost his baby sister, exactly a year before the day we slept on the mainland that night. I squeezed his hand and just listened as he spoke.

Finnick was quiet throughout the talk, until those two people had fallen asleep, and I was the only one awake. He then opened his mouth and spoke.

"Do you remember that boy, Trevin?"

I nodded my head, knowing immediately whom he was talking about. He was the last person to die in the Hunger Games, when Finnick had killed him with only his bare hands. It was horrifying to watch, I couldn't even bare to think about actually having to kill that kid. He was 10 years old. How he had gotten to the last two, I will never know.

"I try not to remember most of the Hunger Games… but the scared look on his face right before he died… it never leaves my head. That look was the same thing I was feeling. Utter fear. Right then, I wished I had died instead. I should have died instead."

I was silent. For the first time, I did not know what to say. You see, dear reader, I am usually the one who gives advice, the one who always knows what to do. But when he said those four sentences, I was speechless.

So I just took his hand and whispered, "I'm always here, Finnick, if you need to say anything."

He nodded and put his head down. I could tell that he wasn't sleeping, so I stayed up watching his silhouette and rubbing his back until I saw his steady breathing. Every time he had a nightmare, I squeezed his callused hand and whispered comforting words until he was okay again.

It was the first of my many nights of comforting Finnick Odair. The first of many nights that I saw the side of him he let no one else see. Right then, I could tell, that I would make him better.

No matter how much it took.

***.*.*.*.***

**DUN. DUN. DDDUUUUNNN.**

**Okay that didn't really deserve a dun dun duuunnn but it's still fun to put it there. Did you hear the actual sound in your head? I know I did.**

**So in the reviews, please tell me what you would like to have on the end of these ending a/ns... I have had song suggestions and funny quotes. Tell me which one or both or a totally different awesome thing!**

**I would just like to say that I have about 30 pages already for this, and tons of more ideas, so I hope you read on!**

**If you have an CONSTRUCTIVE criticism or questions or would just like to tell me how awesome I am, PLEASE REVIEW! IT MEANS A LOT TO ME!**

**THANK YOU WORLD OF FANFICTION. I WISH YOU GOOD NIGHT.**

**p.s. I'm putting up the next two chapters, because I know readers want to get to their love story and such. So YAY!**


	2. Chapter 2

**HELLO AGAIN! I am uploading this one too, because I figured y'all would like to get to the LOOOVVEEEEEE and such! I hope you enjoy it!**

**Okay, so i've decided to give "suggested songs" to listen to as you read this. So this one, is: "Us," by: Regina Spektor. Some my recognize it from the beginning of the movie, "500 Days Of Summer." so yeah! look it up as you read!**

**Chapter 2**

Our friendship went on from there.

He fell in love with a girl in our unit, and when she turned him down, I was there to hold his hand and tell him he would find someone better, even if he didn't believe me.

I was there when the girls made fun of him for something that had happened in the Hunger Games (he had fallen in love with a girl in there- they had gone a little far for doing what they did on camera… he regretted it with all his being, but that did not lessen the fact that all of Panem was basically watching a porno). I wiped the tears away.

I was there for when he really, _truly, _grinned for the first time since camp had started. I can't recall what I said to make him smile like that, but I do remember the feeling of absolute joy, knowing that I put it there.

His smile was beautiful.

He was there when almost all the girls in my unit turned on me because of my friendship with him. What the girls didn't seem to realize is that whenever they tried to split us apart, it only made us one step closer.

After chores, we would sit on the dock and dangle our feet off of the edge, spitting into the water to watch the fish eat. Yeah, gross but it was interesting to see how big the fish could get. We would watch the sun make the ocean sparkle and the wind make the emerald summer leaves dance to music that we couldn't hear, but liked to think we could.

It was so peaceful. I never wanted the moments with him to end. All of my happy memories from that year were with Finnick.

He held me while I cried at the last day of camp. I couldn't help but notice how perfectly my head fit in the soft underside of his neck.

When it was time to leave, we hugged each other good-bye, and left with a sad smile and each of our addresses. We planned to write to each other as much as possible. We both lived on opposite sides of the District- me, in a poorer house, and him in the Victor Houses.

I cried when I left camp, because I knew I would have to wait a year until I saw him. I would hold the memory of him holding me until then.

The past year went by slow and fast at the same time. The moments when it was slow were the times when I would really miss his smile and his wonderful hugs. The moments that where it went by fast was when I distracted myself enough not to think about him.

It had been a rough year- for the both of us.

My two best friends had recently begun dating, and they had been terrible to me, putting me through tons of pain and anger for months on end- it's a long story that I do not care to go into. Let's just say, there was a lot of crying myself to sleep thinking about why I wasn't god enough and what I was doing wrong.

That was my problem. I always think about what I do wrong, making me even more awkward, and other people hating me more. It's just a terrible cycle. I expressed this to Finnick once, and he promised me that no matter how crazy or awkward I get, he'll always love me. It was good to know that one person would never leave, because everyone else seemed to.

His year was far worse. He had been having flashbacks and nightmares. He lived so far away that I couldn't hold him while they happened, but boy, did I want to. At one point, he wrote me a letter saying that he "wished that he wouldn't be there in the morning."

That night, I kept reading that sentence over and over again until I dropped the sheet of paper because my hands were shaking from fear. Finnick couldn't leave me- I don't know what I would have done.

My parents, being amazing, let me use one of their bikes. If the officials had caught me, I would have been executed, because you can only ride a bike around District 4 if you are 16- but saving my best friend was worth the risk.

I sat on a curb with him, and we just talked and hugged and cried to each other. For hours on end. I was sad to leave him again, but I knew he would be okay.

Then Finnick discovered that the local black market was selling drugs for cheap. People from the black market stole Morphling, a painkiller, and would give it to people. Of course he told me of it, and being with a smart body and soul, I knew the effects. I understood why he did it. The abuse of Morphling was so you could lose yourself. So you wouldn't have to think anymore. Which was exactly why the drugs scared me so much.

I was so afraid, because I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to lose my best friend- especially not to drugs. Sure, drugs can kill you, but even if he just took them; I'd still be losing the part of Finnick that I loved. I convinced him to quit.

Soon, around March, my friends started to question our friendship, since I would talk about him all the time. Their questions bombarded me: "Are you secretly dating? Have you kissed? Why do you say you love him?"

I soon began to answer, "I would never date him. But I would marry him."

And I believed those words to be true. Because they were. I could never date him, because that would mean that I would have to break up with him. If we were married, I wouldn't have to have that problem.

Then suddenly, it was July again. Time to go back to Camp Tridenti.

*.*.*.*.*.

**DOES THAT ENDING DESERVE A "DUN DUN DDUDUUUUUNNNNN?"**

**Possibly. I'm not entirely sure...**

**Anyways, I did this instead of studying for midterms... so I deserve at LEAST a review. Pwease. Reviews feed unicorns and baby puppies (I realize that phrase is redundant, shut up)**

**GOOD NIGHT Y'ALL!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so one last short one, because I love you possible readers! YAY!**

**I particularly enjoy this chapter... such possibility, such awkwardness, such POTENTIAL.**

**I hope you like it too!**

**Okay so the next song is... "She's Got You High" by: Mumm-Ra. Also from 500 Days of Summer, haha. What? That movie had great montage songs, and not much TOTAL drama has happened yet! So yay!**

**Chapter 3**

We were both 14 years old at our last year at Camp Tridenti. It was our last year at our camp, and then we could go out in the real world, get a job, get married, and grow up. I was excited and scared at the same time for my future life. But however it turned out, I knew Finnick would be a part of it.

Love was in the air, that last year of camp.

Two people from our unit, Becca Grammer and John (we said Becca's last name because of the two Becca's in our unit), had recently started to date. They lived near each other, in about the middle of District 4, and they seemed happy, and boy, did they not care who knew it. They expressed a lot of PDA, at one point me having to tell them to, "Go get a FUCKING room before we start watching a FUCKING porno." They got a room.

Seth, another boy in our unit, began to his on Suzanne, who seemed uninterested to the untrained eye, but I could tell she wanted to date him. I wished them luck in my mind. They would be cute together.

In the past year, Finnick hadn't dated anyone, but had liked this girl Becca Michelson (also in our unit), but then she had rejected him. Lately, he hadn't been telling me whom he liked, although I knew it was SOMEONE, because there was never a time when he wasn't in love with someone. I just couldn't tell who.

When we first saw each other, I screamed his name and he laughed as I leaped into his open arms. When I pulled back, I really started to notice his physical features that I had over-looked before.

He had grown a few inches since I last saw him, and now was almost my height. His arms were tan and muscular, which I knew from his letters, since he had taken up moving boats around the district, just using his shoulders to support them.

His jaw was angular and firm, his skin as clear as the ocean in the summer. His once "dirty" blonde hair was suddenly golden, and glowed in the afternoon sun. His lips were the perfect shade of rich pink.

His eyelashes were longer than most boys, which made me feel more drawn to the physical features of his gorgeous face.

And his eyes- oh, his eyes seemed to sparkle and light up when he looked at me. They were as deep as the ocean, the kind that you see on a beautiful summer day. I almost got lost at sea looking into those eyes.

But I got embarrassed after a few seconds and turned to look at my other friends. I wasn't about to fall in love with my best friend- that could NOT happen.

You see, dear reader, Finnick and my friendship was MUCH like a relationship, as you have read. We held hands, we said we loved each other, all that jazz. There just were no romantic feelings. At least, I made it to be so.

I couldn't let myself want anything more than friendship. Everything would just get too complicated; I just knew it.

We lived too far away from each other, and I couldn't do a long distance relationship. I need someone THERE to hold me and to kiss me, not promise me in letters that they will someday.

Then I realized that we were still clutching to each other, and he was looking into my eyes. I awkwardly blushed and pushed my curly read hair away from my face. God, my hair could get so annoying sometimes… Before I pushed my hair away, I noticed that his hand also went up as if to push it out of the way as well, but decided against it. AWKWARD.

Eventually we clumsily let go of each other and I moved on to hug some of my other friends, but I kept sensing his eyes on me. The feeling was thrilling and sent chills up my spine. In a good way. Is that weird? Yeah, it's weird.

_Why was he watching me?_

The next two weeks were a haze of smiles, blushes and fun. We did the usual stuff, like what we did last year; sitting on the dock, holding hands, grinning at each other. But there was something different in the way we looked at each other, I just couldn't tell what it was yet.

Well, during the last year at the camp, you have to take a ten-day trip. YEAH. A TEN-FUCKING-DAY TRIP. As you can tell, I was bit worried. Which was sort of an initiation to becoming adults, I guess. It was scary.

The days seemed to fly by; 3 days of hiking, then 3 days of canoeing, then 3 more days of hiking. The story of how my life changed during my time at camp begins on that 10th day, the day that we had to be by our self in the wilderness for 24 hours.

*.*.*.*

**Why do I always feel like I have to say "DUN DUN DDDUUUUUNNN." at the end of my chapters? It's an issue.**

**Okay, so I leave with those. Until I get a few reviews and response, peace out!**

**PLEASE REVIEW SO I CAN UPLOAD MORE. AT LEAST ONE REVIEW. PWEASE. REMEMBER THE UNICORNSSSSSS!**


	4. Chapter 4

**HELLLOOOOOO DEAR READERS! I NOW KNOW THERE ARE A FEW! AAAHHHH! The reviews from yesterday totally pumped me up sooo much so I put another one up! See what reviews can do guys? eh, eh? REVIEW *less than three***

**It was funny, because I opened my e-mail and I was just like, "DA FUUCCCKKK?" Cuz there was (were? hehe grammar) about 20 e-mails. I got SUPER DUPER UPER EXCITED! *smiley face***

**Okay, there are two songs in here, I suggest that as soon as you read the title, pause in your reading, look them up on youtube, and play them in the background as you read the rest. DO IT!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, sadly. But I DO OWN MY IDEA AND MOST OF MY CLOTHING. SO THERE, SUZANNE COLLINS! I also do not own Fast Car (Originally by Tracy Chapman, but look up the one by Boyce Avenue for the harmonies) and In Your Arms by: Kina Grannis (once you finish reading- watch the music video. It's freaking AWESOME AND I WANT TO EAT IT ALL)**

**Chapter 4**

It was the last day of our 10-day trip, and we had just hiked 30 miles the day before. This morning we were all spread out, so we weren't able to see each other, for our day alone. 24 hours; alone in the forest. So of course everyone tried to find one another.

I put my pack down for about an hour before I got freaked out and HAD to find someone to spend the night with. It was about 1:00 in the afternoon, when I began to look for someone. It was a gorgeous day; the leaves were green and blowing in the breeze. The sun shone through them, making me a gorgeous green canopy, draping over the entire forest.

As you may have noticed, I loved nature. The small things have always fascinated me: frost on windows when I wake up, mildew hanging in droplets in the early morning when I walk to school.

But I was most fascinated with the leaves. That's why autumn was my favorite season. The leaves are just absolutely gorgeous. I loved the summer too, because the sun was always bright and shining through the leaves, casting shadows and shone through the veins. It was beautiful.

I felt so at peace with the world. I could have walked for hours in that forest.

Then, I started to sing to myself. You see, dear reader, when I am at peace or sad or any type of emotion, songs erupt in my mind. When I was little, I would turn on the TV, and there would be a music station from the Capitol. I would put on a pretty puffy skirt and dance to the music for hours.

But then, the music channel was closed. I was beyond devastated. So my parents decided to make a guitar, knowing how much I loved music. In District 4, the law is that if you can make it, and get it approved by the District Officers, you can have it. We began to make up songs on our own, and make acoustic ones for my favorites.

My favorite song was the one where my dad would play the guitar, and my mom would use shakers in the background. The song was, "Fast Car, by someone I was not sure of… but I loved it all the same. They would take turns singing the verses and then sing the chorus together. It was beautiful. So I began to sing.

_You got a fast car_

_And I want a ticket to go anywhere_

_Maybe we make a deal_

_Maybe together we can get somewhere_

_Anyplace is better_

_Starting from zero got nothing to lose_

_Maybe we'll make something_

_But me myself I got nothing to prove_

I stopped, closed my eyes and swayed to the music. It always had that effect on me. I let myself get lost in the music, listening to the words coming out of my mouth and the guitar playing in my head. I stayed that way until I had finished singing.

_You got a fast car_

_But is it fast enough so you can fly away_

_You gotta make a decision_

_You leave tonight or live and die this way_

I smiled to myself and moved on, singing to myself still. I loved music with all my heart and soul. I may not have been the best singer in the world, but the way singing made me feel… I couldn't explain the happiness it brought me. I would sing, or listen to music, and suddenly, everything was okay. i could only compare it to the way I felt about Finnick. Whenever we would talk, I would leave the real world and just... be happy.

Eventually, I came upon John and Becca Grammer, but they were both making out. I gave them a look and a snort of laughter before I kept looking for people. They each found time to roll their eyes at me before continuing. I managed to yell, "DON'T HAVE SEX," before going on my way. I wasn't entirely confident if they would take my advice.

The next person I came across was, of course, Finnick. He was by himself, luckily, not making out with Becca Michelson. That would have been awkward and I would not have been happy. She is NOT good for him. At all.

"Hey," I said, dragging out the "eeeyyy" until I completely emerged from the shadows of the trees. It was a very dramatic entrance, if I do say so myself.

He turned around and he grinned at the sound of my voice. "Well, hello there."

"I just saw Becca and John making out… it was a scarring experience."

Finnick laughed. "Becca Grammer right?'

"Of COURSE! What, jealous if it was Becca Michelson?" I teased, sitting down next to him, and kept grinning until he answered.

He smiled a little and rolled his eyes. "You know I'm not into her anymore."

"Yeah, but I'm having trouble believing you because you won't tell who you're into nooowww." I had realized that I enjoyed dragging out words in front of him… I'm not entirely sure why.

His playful expression disappeared and his face became red. I smirked.

"Are you gonna tell me?"

He sighed. "Later." He looked away from my face, and started to play with his hands until I said, "Fine," and began a new conversation about yesterday's adventure. I let it go, because I knew that when he said later, he would stick to it.

We talked as the light began to fade in the distance, and the forest began to turn orange from the dying sun. Finnick's hair turned bright gold, and his eyes looked like the ocean was on fire. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Eventually, I got bored and figured that it was probably later at this point.

"So. Are you going to tell me or what?"

He took a deep breath. "Yeah. Okay…"

I gave him an urging look.

"Well, I haven't told you lately because… I've… I've really started to love…"

I scooched closer in anticipation. I'm a seriously curious person, okay?

"You. In a different way then usual."

I took in a sharp intake of breath. _I KNEW IT! _Okay, maybe not, but I think that somewhere, deep down, I knew how he felt. I just wouldn't accept that.

I smiled at him, not sad or happy. Just a smile.

"I know."

He looked surprised. "You… do?"

"Yeah! You're freaking obvious, boy!" I said, trying not to sound nervous. Because I was freaking out. I needed time to think about my feelings… Then I realized that there was no time but now to explain how I felt about him. I needed to somehow put into words how I felt.

His face turned a deeper shade of red. "Well?" was all he seemed to be able to get out.

I took a deep breath. "Finnick…"

He interrupted me. "No, never mind, don't say anything… just forget I said anything."

He started to get up, but I brought him back down to me by the back of his shirt, and took his hand in mind. He didn't seem to want to look at me, so I brought his face to look at me. I almost was deemed speechless, looking into his beautiful eyes.

And that's when I knew what to say. Everything just seemed to click into place, and suddenly, I knew exactly how I felt.

"Let me finish. Finnick. I love you… in that way too… I think. But I- I could never date you. Because that would mean we would have to break up." He looked at me in surprise. I squeezed his hand and continued with my explanation, which I had no doubt that was true anymore.

"But look- I have been telling my friends lately that… I would never date you…" He flinched a little, but was smart enough not to interrupt me. I took a deep breath.

"But I would marry you."

My ears turned red, but I never took my eyes away from his. He nodded, and seemed to be contemplating something. Then he walked away.

I looked at his form in the glowing sun, and I curled up into a ball, thinking I had screwed up. But then I noticed that he had left his stuff, so he probably wasn't mad. Just confused. Hell, so was I.

About 10 minutes later, he came back with something in his hand. I tried to look, but he put it behind his back. I looked at him in confusion and think, _If only I could raise my eyebrow, it would make this story so much better… _But seeming that I physically could not, I just looked at him in confusion. Less dramatic, but still effective.

Then he told me stand up. So I did, still horribly confused. I realized that during that summer, my new catchphrase was, "I'm. So. Confused." It was natural for me to be confused.

So anyways, I got up, and he held my hands. We just watched each other's glowing faces for a few seconds. I smiled nervously at him, wondering what was to come next.

Then, he got down on one knee. My smile widened to the biggest grin I have ever felt on my face; it felt like I was going to explode from happiness. He pulled out a grass ring from behind his back. It was clumsily woven, but sturdy, just like the nets we learned to make. In the middle was a little daisy.

"Annie Cresta, I am in love with you in every way humanly possible. One day, when we are older and single, will you marry me and make the happiest man in the world?"

I nodded my head, slowly at first and then gained speed as I got more and more out of my initial shock of the proposal and yelled/whispered "YES!" and he put the grass ring on my left ring finger. I laughed and hugged him.

He pulled away, looked at me and said, "Well… until we get married, then."

And then I leaned down (since I was a bit taller- only by an inch or so at this point, thank goodness) and kissed him. It was only for a few seconds, but in my mind, it felt like hours. If it were caught on film, it would have been the cutest kiss ever to be seen by anyone. But it was only mine and his to cherish forever.

I fell asleep in his arms that night. It was very romantic. The next morning I woke up to him staring at me. My face reddened but I grinned. "What?"

He smiled at me and placed a kiss on my forehead. "You're gorgeous, did you know that?"

Instinctively, I kissed him; this time was longer and with tongue. When we pulled away, he gave me an amused look and I got red even more. "Oh, hush. I'm allowed to kiss my future husband."

He laughed and we cuddled for a bit more until I decided I should probably go back to where I was assigned to sleep for the night. I felt so safe in his arms- more safe then I had ever felt in a long time. I passed John and Becca again, but I was too happy to care what the fuck they were up to. And of course, on my way back, I began to sing again.

_Hush, now let's go quiet to the park_  
><em>Where it first started<em>  
><em>Cool night, us lying in the dark<em>  
><em>I felt my heart<em>  
><em>Was trying to find the place for you to stay<em>  
><em>A place where I feel safe<em>

I smiled as the chorus came. It explained how I felt so much.

_Anything we have known, anything we've forgotten_  
><em>In the rain, in the dark we'll lay<em>  
><em>In your arms, in your arms I'll stay<em>

I finally found my spot, I had marked it with my yellow bandana the day before. I sat down 5 minutes before the counselors came to get us. They gathered us all together again, and I couldn't look at Finnick without blushing and grinning and I noticed he did the same. I noticed Becca Michelson giving me weird looks, but I ignored them.

We went back to camp that day and we had a feast. Finnick and I sat next to each other and I was all too aware of his leg against mine. I noticed him taking brief glances at me all through dinner, and I couldn't help but smile to myself.

I was going to marry Finnick Odair one day.

*.*.*.*.*

**D'AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW I know! It's so freaking cute!**

**I wanna love story like this, god damn it! RAH**

**Teehee. I love love. So much.**

**ANYWAYS. AH. DON'T YOU LOVE THE SONGS? EVEN IF YOU DONT: GUESS WHAT? I DON'T CARE! MWUAH *blows kiss towards your probably general direction***

**Okay so i guess I'll respond to reviews here:**

**Procrusador: THANK YOU! Here you are, reading more! WOOT WOOT**

**District4widow3: Nope, she is not crazy yet, she will be in five years (don't worry, wikipedia helped me with the dates and such, although I have to change the 70th Hunger Games a little... blah) And this was 2 years after his Hunger Games, so 3 MORE TO GO BECAUSE SHE GOES BATSHIT CRAZY! Sorry, I'm super duper excited, because I have so many ideas!**

**licindamellark: Yes. I am an awesome work person. I completely agree teehee! Thank you so much for the review, I hope you do it again! It's the blue button. yeah, right below me. Yeah. Right there. Click on it. YAY**

**HUNGER GAMES and ONE DIRECTION (): I have a question for you: What is One Direction? Please explain. for what I've heard, it is a band, but I do not know what the big deal is... just please don't get mad at meeeee i want to knoowwww.**

**OKAY THANK YOU ALL. MWUAH! REVIEW PWEASE, DID YOU SEE HOW FAST I UPDATED?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sup, guys! Thank you so much for the reviews! I will respond to them at the end of the chapter... they made me super happy and look, i put up a new chapter NOW! THE DAY AFTER YESTERDAY! SEE WHAT REVIEWS DO? MOTIVATORS, BITCHES!**

**So I am writing/editing this while watching Family Guy, playing Tetris and eating a sandwich. You are jealous of my multi-tasking skills! I am starting at around 10:30 a.m... so I'll see when I'm done...**

**Well, yeah, I'm home because I had midterms today, and we get out at 9 (YEAH BITCHES) so yeah. That's why I have been able to upload so soon.. but don't worry I hate fics that upload like, every 2 months, so if it takes more than 1.5 weeks for me to upload, I am probably dead. Or swamped with school work. But most likely dead.**

**SO ANYWAYS. OKAY. The suggested song for today is... "Piazza, New York Catcher" by: Belle and Sebastian (From Juno- hehe, yeah...)**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**Chapter 5**

The next day was Christmas in July at our camp, where we all get a Secret Santa and have a day to make them a gift. Some people might ask why we don't celebrate other religions, but this camp was made by a predominately Christian Capitol, so boom, Christmas in July.

I got a younger girl who loved jewelry according to her counselor, so I made her two friendship bracelets and a necklace. I made Finnick a "friendship" bracelet )I guess it was a "more than friendship" bracelet, but that doesn't sound as good) as well in the process of making her jewelry and he immediately put it on. I still had my grass ring in the mini box I always brought to camp. I would have been wearing it, but I didn't want it to break.

It was our promise to each other.

I got a gorgeous journal from a counselor, daisies glued along the cover, and in the middle was my name written in cursive. On the inside cover, there was the quote, "Memory... is the diary that we all carry with us." I couldn't stop smiling. It was so perfect to what I was feeling.

My person, whose name was Mindy, loved my gift. She even hugged me and it was adorable. I couldn't help but think, _"I want kids when I get older, they are just so god damn cute!" _ I looked at Finnick, who was also getting hugged by a little kid whom he had given a bracelet (which I had done after I saw his sad pile of string in a bunch) and a cupcake. I saw him watching me too, so I blushed, and also couldn't help but think, "_I wonder what our children will look like…"_

Before I could ponder this (and yes completely die from the cuteness of the thought), I was whisked away to fire circle, where we were forced to sit for an hour and listen to someone from the Capitol tell us how wonderful they are to us. Such a Capitol punishment. I guess they just wanted us to know our place.

The next day was torches, the ceremony of us "graduating." We were leaving camp the day after. That entire day we worked on our candelabra, which was a sculpture of wood made into a bear in the middle (we had made a cardboard face for the head so everyone knew it was a bear) and then canoes along the sides and oars that spelled out 1A, our unit.

We all lead the fire circle that night, meaning we didn't have to listen to the Capitol for once and, like the year before, Finnick held me while I cried into his shoulder because this was all over. Luckily, he had gotten taller in the past year so my back didn't hurt this time. My head molded perfectly into his neck. Plus, he smelled good, so I soon stopped crying, but decided to keep pretending so I could stay where I was. He didn't seem to be complaining either.

But the really major thing that led me to stop crying about how my life at camp was over, was my excitement for the future. I wanted to go out into the world (well, my District I guess...) and make a difference. I was going to do something to help people, I just knew it.

And then there was the prospect of my Finnick. I knew that we were going to get married, that I had no doubt about. But what would we be until then? Just friends? Friends with benefits (I reddened at that thought)? In a relationship?

I eventually told my brain to shut the fuck up and enjoy the moment. And so I moved closer, and he tightened his arm around me. I felt one of his hand move up to stroke my long curly hair, and I smiled into his neck. I was so happy, I could barely contain myself. I realized that it didn't matter what we were... as long as we were like this. That was what I wanted.

Then we were told to stand up, and we were handed our torches, which we each lit. We all lined up from the fire circle all the way to the dock. I was standing on the pathway right before the dock, standing between Leland and Becca Michelson. I began to cry again, as I hugged all the people I had grown up with at my camp good bye. I didn't want to leave this place.

Soon I had hugged everyone, and it was time to yell the name we had chosen to call our unit. It would be written on the ceiling of the dining hall. All of my unit lined up in front of the ocean on the beach. I made sure to look at each of their faces before standing on the end, with Finnick standing next to me. He saw my tears and immediately took my hand. I squeezed his and we both yelled "SNAKES IN A PONCHO!" and blew out our torches.

We had named our unit "snakes in a poncho" because one morning, we found four snakes around our campsite, so we tied rocks to our ponchos and caught the little suckers. And no, we didn't eat them, who do you think we are, cave people? We threw them into the ocean, making sure we didn't swim in that part. They looked extremely poisonous.

The rest of the camp left for the party back in the Dining Hall and it was time for us to skinny dip. It was a traditional part of the initiation. Don't ask me why, if I thought about it too much, I probably would be grossed out. So I went with it. We split into girls and boys and stripped and jumped into the water. I laughed and splashed everyone in the dark, trying to ignore the fact that Finnick was naked as well as I.

Then we partied for a while. There was no electricity to generate music, so the counselors used pots, pans, anything they could find to make our own music. One even had a guitar. I sang and danced and had so much fun. I lost myself in the excitement and music that a grin never left my face. Later, Finnick whispered that I looked beautiful into my ear.

The girls went back to their cabin, and we sat around the middle of the floor in a circle, talking about the future.

Becca Grammer wanted to go into the netting business, since she loved to make friendship bracelets. She made me one, that was purple (my favorite color) and blue (the color of Finnick's eyes). They were intertwining in patterns that I couldn't even tell apart because they were so intricate. I could tell she knew that something had happened between us. I loved that girl.

Becca Michelson wanted to marry a rich husband and have 3 children. Typical her.

Others chimed in about fishing and weaving and baking. I didn't join in the conversation. I was zoning out, thinking about what Finnick and my children would look like. I decided they would have his eyes, and have bright red hair, like mine. They were adorable!

I was snapped out of my fantasies when I noticed that their attention was on me.

"Annie, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

That made me pause. I had never really thought about that. You see, I have always loved to help people. But in a fishing district, there's not much you can do to first-handedly help people. So I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"When I grow up I want to be… happy."

And with Finnick, I knew I would be.

*.*.*.*.*.*

The next day, it was time to leave. I cried again. I am a very emotional person, okay? I packed up all of my stuff, went to breakfast and got a free, meaning I didn't have to do a chore.

Finnick and I were in the same group that did chores together, so we went off together. Far away, where no one could see us. It's not like we were embarrassed, we just wanted privacy. Of course, the Capitol can always hear us, and all that shit, but we just wanted to be separate from the rest of the camp.

I sat down again and held his hand. "You're going to Young friend meetings, right?" I said. "Young Friends meetings" were basically support groups for anyone who has left my camp.

He nodded. "And next year you'll be able to build a bike so you can come down and see me." I nodded my head too. In my district, when you are 16, if you could build a bike, you could ride one anywhere that you want. I was a year older than him, so I could do this earlier, even if it was only by a month.

"Every weekend." I smiled at the thought of the future. I was excited for it. We watched the beauty of nature around us as I settled into his chest. The trees provided a sweet green canopy over our heads, shielding us from the bright sun just behind their branches. The sun's rays that were able to seep through cracks in the leaves, left random splotches of light around the forest floor.

One was pointed right at where Finnick and my feet were touching. I turned around to show him this, when I noticed at him staring at me. I grinned and pressed my lips to his. This time it was a good-bye kiss, for I wasn't going to be doing so with him for a while. He smiled into the kiss, and we sat there for a while, kissing sweetly.

When we pulled away, we kept our foreheads together, whispering how much we loved each other. It's one of my favorite memories of all time.

Then I pulled away all together and said, "Well. This is it. Won't be doing that for another ten years or so."

He pouted and I laughed. I leaned forward again and he pulled me into an EXTREMELY passionate kiss. We gave each other our all in that one. I was the one to pull away this time and I said, "I love you," and we got up to walk back to main camp.

We held hands on the way back to my cabin. I kissed him softly on the cheek and went inside. I saw him staring after me in the corner of me with an expression I could not read. I smiled sadly to myself and went inside to get everything together.

My mom came to pick me up, and I left camp. Of course, not without the dramatic final good bye between Finnick and me. We hugged and whispered "I love you" into each other's ears at the same time and I left. Just like that.

Life went on, as it does. We talked almost everyday. It's amazing that we had that much to talk about. At Young Friends Meetings we held hands, but didn't sneak off (although we both wanted to) and when I first built my bike, the first thing I did was bike the two hours to his house.

We each had relationships with other people, but not serious enough that would make us change our minds about us marrying each other. Nothing made us go back on that promise. I said yes to dates, he said yes to dates, but we had an unannounced promise to never think seriously of anyone. And we trusted each other to not abuse the freedom we gave.

Of course, we still wrote to each other. Every week. Sometimes I was even allowed to ride the bike I had made (it was purple- my favorite color) to his house, and he would come to mine. But the ride was about 2 hours away, and it was hard to make some days. So we stuck to letters. I put all of his into a scrapbook.

And for 4 years, I was happy to be like that with him. It was what I wanted.

And then came the reaping of the 70th Annual Hunger Games. And my name was called.

Annie Cresta.

*.*.*.*.*.*

**HAPPPYYY. and then SAADDD.**

**So yeah, guys. IT CAN'T BE ALL FLUFF, IM SORRY!**

**And now I am going to respond to the THREE reviews that I got! Woot!**

**Me: As you see, I haz updated soon. And let me explain: SO yeah, Finnick technically DID win in the books at 14 years old, but I wanted him and Annie to be the same age, so he was 13 at the 65th Hunger Games and she was 18 at the 70th. Get it? Got it? Good. THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEW IT MADE ME VERY HAPPPY! It's so awesome that this got recommended by a friend! That makes me feel so awesome! Keep reading!**

**Andrea Weasleyy : When I copy and pasted your name a squiggly line thing came up. AH WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? anyways: thanks for the reviews! lol you sounded surprised that you enjoyed which entertained me haah. And see? Does this satisfy your impatience? A day after? I know, I'm awesome teehee**

**emmathefart: I can't. Get over. Your username. haha I'm so immature... I LOVE IT! thank you so much for your review! I love the high praise!**

**SO ANYWAYS. THERE YA HAVE IT FOLKS. CLIFFHANGER. **

**Any questions, corrections, or you just want to give awesome feedback, please review! They keep me beyond motivated!**


	6. Chapter 6

**SOOOOOOO hey guys... you're right. I AM DEAD. **

**JUST KIDDING! but seriously. I AM SO SORRY! AAHHHHHH.**

**I sincerely apologize with all my heart and soul. *grovels and kisses my readers' feet***

**AAANNYWWAAYYSS. I apologize- this is late because I had to write it ALL. OVER. AGAIN. so I could get it right. sigh.**

**Okay here it is!**

**Song: Dog Days Are Over by: Florence and The Machine (for the beginning I guess)**

**Chapter 6:**

In my head, the beginning of the 70th Annual Hunger Game is just bits and pieces. I remember hearing the loud bleep that signified the start of it, and then the rest is a blur of blood, sweat and pain.

I remember running. Running away from all the killing and food and water supplies. I just had to leave and stay alive. I needed to get home, and Finnick, being my mentor, had told me how. The key was to run.

As I ran, his face was in my head. His smile, his laugh. His tears.

So I ran as fast I possibly could. No one caught up to me.

After awhile of running, I finally stopped to get aware of my surroundings. I looked around and only saw dry land with many oddly shaped trees, that pointed towards the west; away from the Cornucopia. And the way I was going. They seemed to be pointing me which way to go.

I shivered- it was surprisingly really cold, despite the desert-type look of the place. At least they had provided us with a heat-reflecting jacet before we cam in here. How kind of them.

I went over to one to check how sturdy the branches were to possibly sleep in. They seemed sturdy enough, but the only ones that I could actually sleep in were the two that made the "V" that branched out into the small branches, which was completely visible. Oh, well. It was better than the hard ground.

I breathed in deeply, to smell the air. I immediately regretted it. It smelled like home; the ocean.

I wanted to be home.

My eyes started to tear up, but I didn't cry. I didn't want to seem weak to the possible sponsors out there who Finnick was trying to get to pay money for my support down here. I suddenly looked up at the sky and smiled. I knew he was watching over me- like a guardian angel.

That night, I was sleeping in the crook of the tree, when I heard an almost silent thud beneath me. I stood up and crouched on the crook, trying to figure out how to defend myself. Finnick had made sure that I knew how to hand fight (even before I was picked for the Hunger Games- there was a lot of violence in District 4), so that was always an option for me.

After awhile of silence, I realized that I should probably look down to see what it was. I saw a silver parachute gleam in the moonlight. I grinned with happiness and clambered down from the trees. I opened the package and found two items- A simple, yet extremely sharp knife, and some sort of small contraption. It had a crank, a bottle attached it and a lot of gears. It seemed familiar, but my sleepy mind couldn't process what it was.

I was disappointed that it was food or water, but I knew that these would do me well in the future. So I slept, with my knife and machine-thingy tucked into my chest.

The next day, I put the knife in my boot and the contraption in the silver parachute that I kept with me as a makeshift backpack. I ran/waled for hours that day, trying to find SOMETHING throughout the vast desert. I found nothing.

Finally, on the day that I was dizzy from thirst, I found it. The ocean.

My life source.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**Yeah, so. I just needed an introduction- the next one will be up today though! So yay!**

**Okay... so not much response from you guys. Cry. SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T REVIEW? I DIE. so inconsiderate... (YOU KNOW IM KIDDING! But seriously. review.)**

**Okay so here are my responses to the reviews I got:**

**Andrea Weasleyy: The weird box thing is back. blah. OKAY SO. Haha I knew you were surprised- I hope you stick with me, even though I WAS LATE! AH!**

**me: okay so here is my explanation- it is my view that no one should have to stick with their boyfriend and girlfriend throughout their entire lives. Staying with one person is unrealistic, and frankly, I think they would get tired of each other. So yeah. That's just my explanation. Hope that's okay!**

**lucindamellark : ooohh you have you're special little box. Thank you so much! It means a lot :)**

**KatnissE.G: I hope my author's notes are interesting to you. I amuse myself as well, which is an odd thing to say, but it's true. AND YES I AGREE. Also, Peeta would not have gone insane, I mean that really bothered me. Like she couldn't even be with the Peeta who was in love with her in the 1st book, the one that I actually liked. BLAH.**

**Okay, so I apologize for the short chapter. But yeah. The next one will be longer, I promise.**

**p.s. The trees Annie was describing are Divi-Divi trees, which are native to Aruba (WHERE IM GOING FOR SPRING BREAK- I AM SO EXCITED)**


	7. Chapter 7

**ssooo yeah. YAY! ANOTHER CHAPTER!**

**It's snowing outside. It's been 60 degrees all week. WTF. What. the. Falaffle.**

**Okay so... song... hmmm...What If by: Coldplay.**

**And: it gets super duper graphic at the end. I apologize. I swear, that will be the only time I will describe something that gross in such detail- if you get easily grossed out, don't read the part after she runs through the forest after her and Max part. I'll talk to you about it in the author's not if you need a catch up.**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7:**

The next few days were just a pattern of the same events: I would wake up, walk as far along the beach that I could until I was about to explode from hunger/thirst, and then stop for a drink and to catch some fish. I found out that the contraption thingy was a desalination device, one I had seen briefly at camp. It made fresh water from the ocean salt. It also gave me salt crystals to salt the fish with. I learned to hide myself while sleeping but positioning the branches a certain way.

It was great. Life was almost... easy. Too easy.

It seemed that the Capitol was focused on other aspects on the game, because they never seemed to bother me. Throughout those few days, there were 17 cannons blown. There were 7 of us left. I prayed to God that I wouldn't have to kill anyone to win- but of course, I would have to. That's how you win. What a sick way to reach achievement.

Although the Capitol didn't seem to notice me, sponsors seemed to.

Finnick kept sending me things- a warm sleeping bag, a light bag to put all of my winnings, an automatic heating pad to cook my fish. It just kept coming. He kept keeping me alive. His gifts were like his letters when I couldn't see him- gifts from heaven. Whenever I would get one, I would smile up to him, so the cameras could pick up my grin. I hoped he saw each and every one of them.

Every night I would think of him. He was the reason I had made it so far- not for his wonderful gifts, but because he had given me a reason to leave this place. I needed that. A reason. And he was mine.

One night I was lying in a tree, when I heard a voice yelling, "Annie! Annie, it's me, Max!"

At this point, I trusted no one, and pulled the dagger I had made from stones out of my breast pocket and aimed it at the voice. It could be anyone- anyone who sounded like him. Maybe they had gotten a Jabber-jay (I had heard about them- evil little buggers) and tried to make me trust them, only to kill me. I couldn't let that happen. I needed to get home.

Then Max emerged from the darkness and I saw he was carrying an ax in his left hand, and a large rabbit in the other. I cautiously came down from my tree. I wasn't sure what he was here for- but I made sure to be careful, even to Max. Anyone could turn into a brutal killer in here, even your best friend.

His eyes seemed hurt as he saw my caution. He sighed, dropped his ax, and stepped away from me. I took his ax quickly and stepped away from him. He put his arms up and my eyes softened. He wasn't going to kill me- not today.

I dropped the weapons and gave him a big hug. I felt him smile into my hair and I pulled away and grinned. I was happy to have someone down here on my side.

He seemed relieved to see me. We ate the rabbit in appreciative silence, and then he told me of what he saw. He had been hiding out in the Cornucopia with the other Careers, since he looked like one, what with all his lifting boats and stuff for a living.

But once their numbers dwindled and they turned on each other, he went off on his own, looking for another ally. Me. On his way out, Max had struck two Careers in the back with his ax, and then had come for me. He had found the rabbit on his way over to the ocean. He knew that I would at least take Finnick's advice to go as far away as possible, and so he followed his instincts.

"It's freezing cold where the cornucopia is. They'll start heading this way soon. We need to keep moving."

I nodded at him, and then we both shared my sleeping bag, because it became freezing at night. Don't you dare think sexually, it was for survival and I stayed as far away as possible from his body. I never wanted to be that close to anyone but Finnick of course. I hope he understood.

We woke up the next morning, packed up camp, and headed farther away from the cornucopia. It began to get warmer and warmer and at one point I almost passed out from heat exhaustion. The ocean kept being farther and farther away, since it was so dry.

That night, we heard 2 gunshots. That meant there was only Max and I and three more people. All Careers.

The next morning, I suggested that Max and I go on our way. We wouldn't want to have to fight each other, because I could never do it. Ever. He agreed. I went out into the vast desert that once was the sea, and he went into the now dense forest.

A few minutes after parting, I heard a yell and the clashing of metal. I knew I had to run, like Finnick had always told me to doubt instead of running away, I ran towards them. I had to save Max. He couldn't die- not yet. Two against one had to beat that stupid Career- just one last time, we could be the team.

I sprinted through the trees, getting smacked in the face by branches and scaring birds out of the trees. The sky was red as blood- I wasn't sure if it was from the sunset or telling me what was to come. A feeling of distress creeping up my back and neck. I ran faster; desperately.

The moment I got there, I saw the Career swing at Max's neck with a giant scythe. I had seen it briefly at the mouth of the Cornucopia- it didn't seem very efficient to me, but it seemed to be working for him.

I had a second to see Max's look of pure fear and dread, until his head fell on the dry earth. Blood everywhere, seeping out of his headless body.

His blonde hair was sprawled across the earth, still not touched by the blood that now stained the forest floor. It fell across his cheek in a soft whisp. His lips were tainted with his own blood; drops strewn all around the bottom of his chin.

And Max's eyes… his dead eyes. They stared directly at me, begging me for the help that I could not give anymore.

I ran out from the shadows, pulled out my knife, and lodged it into the Career's throat. More blood; on my hands, on my face.

My hands shook and let go of my knife, which was still stuck in this dead boy's throat. Hid body fell to the ground, right next to Max's. I dropped to the ground and was immersed in more blood- the bloods of the two people who I had killed; one whom I had let die, and the other because of the first.

A canon blared. The birds began to sing again. But the loudest thing I heard was the screams. It sounded like the cries of an animal as it slowly died. I soon came to learn they were mine.

Then, mercifully, darkness.

*.*.*.*.*.*

**. **

**So yeah. That was gross. For those who skipped it; it was what made Annie INSAANEEE. Her teammate was beheaded, and she watched. So yeah. grody.**

**OKAY SO I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!**

**p.s. Lately I have been OBSESSED with Tracy Chapman- check her out!**

**REVIEW, MAH BITCHES! PWEASE!**


	8. Chapter 8

**sooooo heeeeyyyy *looks bashfully at readers***

**So I'm a llliiitttlleee late. I'm sorry! AHHHHHH. School sucks.**

**So I have been sick all of last week... issues. I'm sooo sorry!**

**Also the fact that I DIDN'T GET MANY REVIEWS! Tear**

**But yeah, I apologize.**

**So this is the last chapter that I have wrote in advance. DUN DUN DDUUUNNN.**

**And I still have to change a shit ton about it... But here is the first time that you get to hear Finnick's POV so that should be fun. But of course, extremely depressing.**

**Song of the chapter: "Blindsided" by: Bon Iver**

Finnick's POV:

I watched the screen in pure terror as I saw Max get killed and my Annie rushing towards the killer.

I stood up and all but put my face to the screen I was watching. I watched it in slow motion. When I saw Annie kill the Career I could have laughed with happiness. Until I heard her blood curdling screams.

Her beautiful face was contorted into absolute agony and panic, her victim's blood smeared across her mouth and hands. Her hands shaking in abnormal jolts, her body convulsing on the floor of the arena.

I couldn't take my eyes off of my Annie as suddenly there was a change in the environment of the arena. The winds began to blow hard, and the rains poured down in rough sheets, hitting her face and making her hair blow all around her beautiful face.

She was still screaming.

I watched in horror as the once desert began to fill with water, creeping up on the forest were Annie still crouched in terror. It got closer and closer as I almost began to scream myself, but I kept quiet. Screaming couldn't help anyone.

The water burst through the trees and she turned toward it. Before I could do anything, she was carried away by the huge waves. This was when I did scream. She had to swim, but it didn't seem that she had the heart to.

I ran up to the big button to try and bring her something, anything so she could hang on just long enough to win. But no one wanted to waste their money on her now.

I gripped the edge of my seat, and didn't take my eyes off of the limp girl who I was in love with, and watched in horror as she sank into the water. _"Please"_, I whispered. _"Please Annie. Hang on."_

Annie POV:

There were screams, and then suddenly, I was being pulled along the terrain of the arena.

The trees were getting mowed down by the huge waves that racked the entire arena.

But all I could see was the blood. The gore. The horror.

I wanted to die.

I wanted to get out of the terror, the pain.

I stopped swimming, and sank into the depths of the sudden ocean that surrounded the arena.

I smiled. The pain that wracked my brain would be gone. I'd be free.

But then, just as I was about to pass out, I saw his face. It wasn't familiar to me, but I knew that it was important.

Deep blue eyes, like the ocean. Blonde hair that glowed. He was crying, and I saw tears fall down his beautiful face. I didn't want him to cry. I may not have known who he was, but I didn't want him to cry.

I was about to run out of air, but I wasn't happy about it anymore. I wanted to make the boy happy. So, with my last remaining energy, I kicked my legs and then burst through the water.

The air was painful, and I wanted to scream again. But I didn't. I just saw his face in my mind, and he was smiling and I laughed. He was happy, so I would be.

But then the cannons blared, and I screamed again. It was too loud, and then there was applause and I wanted to go back under the ocean, where it was quiet and safe.

Things grabbed me, and I couldn't get them off me. I yelled and screamed until something stung my arm, and then it was dark.

Finnick's POV:

I ran through the door, sprinting towards the hospital they always brought the winners to. It was about a mile away and through about 2 other buildings.

I passed a few other people slapping hands or upset because they had bet on the Career. But I couldn't focus on anything but Annie.

I remembered when I had won. I was too shocked to move. To breathe.

But Annie's reaction- it was different then anything I have seen or heard about. It was crazed.

I ran faster.

As I burst through the door, I yelled at the doctors to tell me where she was. I could hear her; her screams of torment echoing around the building. Everyone else was silent; listening.

I bellowed her name over and over again until a team of nurses managed to push me away from her, although I put up a good fight. I kept fighting, trying to reach her. I wasn't going to lose her.

Eventually they had to knock me out with some sort of needle. The last thing I saw before I passed out was her flowing red hair and her hands throttling her own throat.

Annie's POV:

Flashes of light. Faces. Yells.

Blackness.

The blackness was when the dreams would come. Dreams of Max's head on the floor of the arena. Blood.

Light.

Beeping. A tugging on my wrist. Cold.

Blackness.

Blood on my hands. The Career's last pleading look. Screaming.

Always the Screaming.

Finnick's POV:

They finally let me see her after a few days of her being in the hospital. The doctors told me that she had been awake for more than 5 minutes, which was a step forward, but had shown no response.

I waked in, and her beautiful back was turned to me. She was curled up into a ball and seemed to be rocking back and forth.

I saw her red hair tied up in a ponytail. The nurse saw me look at her hair and whispered, "We had to put it up so she wouldn't pull out her hair- she started to at one point yesterday."

I nodded and tried not to show the emotions I had bottled up inside me. What had happened to my Annie?

The nurse left the room to go talk to the doctor and I walked up beside the bed.

The covers only came up to her waist, so I could see that the physical scars she had accumulated from surviving in the games were gone. But the mental traces were still there.

When I first walked in, I had thought that she was sleeping, but as I walked around her hospital bed, I saw her stunning green eyes were open and bloodshot.

Her knees were too her chest, her toes were curled up so tightly that the knuckles on her toes were white. Her shoulders were tense, near her ears. Her back was arched in a way that didn't seem humanly possible to do, or at least extremely uncomfortable.

She was staring, unblinking, at the wall behind me. I watched her intently for a few moments before she glanced at me.

As soon as she saw me, she started to shake harder and harder, rocking the bed. A single tear fell down her soft cheek, the cheek I had touched so tenderly not even a month ago.

She looked off into the distance again and screamed, "NO! DON'T DO IT PLEASE, GOD NO! NOOOO!"

I tried to keep my calm and I touched her shoulder, trying to calm her down, "Annie, please, it's just me, Finnick. Remember? Remember me?"

She looked at me again and howled louder and louder, bringing in many doctors and nurses who pushed me out the door.

I looked through the glass window outside her room and watched as she had to be restrained by the nurses, and the doctor had to slowly press down a needle into her IV so she would get knocked out.

She slowly began to stop thrashing and relax, but her body was sprawled across the bed like a wet mop, her arm lying over the side of the bed, her leg underneath her.

I didn't know what to do.

What had happened to my Annie?

I didn't notice the tears that were rolling down my face until a nurse came up behind me and asked if I was okay.

I shook my head.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**TEAR. I KNOW IT'S SO SAD.**

**But don't worry! It'll be okay.. sometime. Not for awhile.**

**SO THAT WAS THE LAST ONE THAT I WROTE IN ADVANCE. HEHEEHEHE.**

**Wish me luck on the other ones!**

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	9. Chapter 9

**a/n**

**SSOOOOOO HEY GUYS! This is super depressing. Just thought you ought to know (THERE'S A TROLL IN THE DUNGEON! AAHH HARRY POTTER!)**

**Sorry if this seems kind of trailing… I knew where I wanted to go for this, but wasn't quite sure how to get there. Don't worry though, I still think it has the potential to be AWESOME.**

Chapter 9:

Finnick's POV:

After 6 days in the hospital, I was allowed to take Annie home. The doctor's dubbed her unable to do the interview and watch all the deaths again.

So they made me do it.

The interview was a blur. Caesar kept pushing me to give details on Annie's mental condition, but I kept a straight face for if I showed emotion; I would surely burst into tears.

I had to watch the very moment where she went in- no. I can't say insane. She isn't insane, because she is going to get better. Her scars will heal.

She will come back to me.

Finally, we got to go home. The train ride back was quiet. All of the servants were told that any noise could startle her into another fit.

But I could do whatever I wanted around her, and she would stay collected. I wasn't sure why, but when she looked at me, she seemed at peace. Almost as if she knew who I was.

Everyday on that train ride, which took 3 days, I attempted to get through to her. But anything I said, anything I did, she would just look off into the distance.

Every night I would come into her room, and kiss her forehead as she slept. They had put a chair in her room specifically for me.

I never slept, those three nights. Just watched her sleep.

Her face was always contorted when she slept- she never had a moment of peace in between her nightmares. Her nightmares would make her whimper, scream and sometimes even giggle.

But her "laughs" were never happy. They were distorted- as if it was a bell that had a crack in it, or a piano out of tune. It scared me, to see her this way.

Whenever she would scream, I would get out of my chair and whisper things to her. It didn't matter what. Sometimes I would recite a poem I had memorized for her called "She Walks in Beauty."

Sometimes, I would sing. I wasn't very good, but it seemed to soothe her somewhat to only whimpers, and not screams.

But most of the time, I would tell her about us. How we met. How I fell in love with her. All of the times we had together. Like the time that I taught her how to catch a good fish, or the time when she taught me how to make a net to catch the fish in.

Don't tell anyone this, but sometimes I would even cry as I told her these stories. And no matter how many times I had to get up, and talk to her, I always had a different story to tell about us.

I would always make sure to tell her that I loved her, and that everything would be okay.

Those were long nights.

When we finally got home, I made sure that it was late, and so she wouldn't have to be awake to greet the paparazzi that awaited us.

They bombarded me with questions, as I carried her to her new home in the Victor's Village, right next to my house.

Her mother, her only living relative, was waiting for us. Once she saw her, she burst into tears and covered her mouth to try and suppress the noise she was making with her uncontrollable sobs.

I brought Annie up to her room, which I new was hers, because the door was painted her favorite color purple; "like the clouds at sunset" she would always tell me with a grin.

It was in looking at that door that made me realize how much I missed her already.

I slowly put her down and tucked her into her covers. She looked so small underneath the heaping mass of blankets. I noticed the machine next to her bed, which helped us monitor whether she was having a nightmare or not.

I went downstairs quietly to say hello to her mother. After 4 years of kind of dating Annie (well being in love with her is a better way to put it), I had gotten to know her mother.

She was a sweet but tough woman. She was built kind of big, but Annie told me that it was to give the best hugs in the world. As I approached her, she hugged me, and I could tell what Annie meant by "the best hugs in the world."

Mrs. Cresta's body was meant for holding someone else's.

After awhile like that, we broke apart and sat at their table, right next to the monitor that was connected to the machine in Annie's room.

We just sat there for awhile, listening until she finally spoke.

"Why are you here, Finnick?"

I looked at her in shock. "Because I have no where else to be."

She shook her head. "Why are you still with her? She's gone."

I stood up in anger and the chair that feel behind me made a loud clunk. I just stared at her for awhile until I could find the words.

"She's not gone. She can't be gone."

My voice caught. "I love her. She can't be gone."

That's when I finally started to cry. Again. Dumb tears. And of course, as soon as I began to cry, so did Mrs. Cresta. We both slumped back on our chairs (after I picked mine up of course) and cried. Cried about the loss that was sleeping in the room just above our heads.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The days went by like that. She would wake up; walk downstairs, and straight out the door. Then, I would run after her and bring her back inside, and make her sit at the table.

After putting her breakfast on the table, and then having to scrape it off the walls as she flings it to every clean surface, I would bring her outside. I was the only person she would allow to touch her. I was almost smug about it, but when I saw her mom's heartbroken face, I felt heartbroken myself.

I would always brought her to the sea, where she could watch the sun glint off the water, just like we used to do.

She just stared off into the distance. Her face never changed throughout these rituals, and through each day, my confidence that she would get better grew weaker.

But still, every night, I would tuck her into her massive comforter and kiss her on the forehead good night. Her nightmares began to get so bad, that I grew to just getting into bed and holding her, until she calmed down.

She didn't seem to mind.

My family stopped asking where I was, because even though I didn't return their calls, they knew where I was. They saw me walk her outside to the ocean everyday, they saw me drag her back inside when she tried to escape the house.

Then, my life suddenly changed when I saw my old friend in the Victor Village, Justin Peirce. I hadn't seen him since Annie and I had gotten back from the Capitol, about a month before I had seen him.

It was in the middle of the night, around two o'clock when I heard someone loudly coughing and speaking gibberish to anyone who would listen. I waited for him to pass, so I could try and sleep again, but he just stayed where he was, right outside of Annie's bedroom window.

So, gathering the courage I had accumulated after winning the Hunger Games and watching the love of my life fall apart before my eyes, I got out of her bed, making sure to kiss her cheek, and jumped out the window to go see who it was.

Okay, so the window-jumping thing probably wasn't the best idea, nor was it the most graceful one, because I hit my ankle in a weird place and cursed, "FUCK!" before I realized that cursing might make my situation worse.

The dark figure near the street lamp heard me, and turned around with an agility I wouldn't expect this nutcase to have.

I saw his face. It was my old friend Justin's, and so I relaxed, and walked towards him. I stopped in a halt when I got close enough to see the true contour of his appearance.

His eyes were bloodshot and as soon as he approached me, I knew why. The smell that came off of him was all too familiar.

Morphling.

The drug I had become addicted to for a few months. The one that Annie had made me go cold turkey on.

My addiction came back in full force, and I wanted to ask where he got it, and where I could get some. But I restrained myself, as soon as I glanced back to her window. I knew that she would cry if I did it again.

He grinned as he saw my face, and he came up and slapped my back.

"Aaaah, Finnick Odair. Nice tuh see yah again."

His words were slurred, and I could tell that he had been drinking too.

"Yeah, how are you, Justin? I thought you stopped doing that stuff."

"Nooooo mmmaaannnn. It's soooo good I just couldn't stop myself."

He grinned again and took another swig of alcohol from the bottle in his hand. I resisted the urge to snatch it out of his hand and drink the whole thing down in one gulp. I knew what alcohol did. It washed away your senses. That's what I wanted more than anything through that whole month- to get away from the pain of watching her.

"Hey, man. You want sum? I tho' you might want sum." He laughed and held the bottle out to me. Against my better judgment, I took a huge gulp and washed it down with my own spit. It tasted horrendous. Perfect.

"Yo, duudee. I hear ya brought da girl home. She crraayy isn't she? She's a looonnyyy?"

That's when I punched him.

He held his face in shock for a few moments as he backed away. And then started to laugh.

"See maann? I di'nt feel nutin. The power of drruuggss maaannn."

Feeling nothing. That's all that I wanted. To feel nothing. So I did something that I promised Annie I would never do.

"Hey, Justin. Do you have any more of that… morphling?"

He grinned his toothy grin once again and I smiled a long with him. My pain would be gone, if only for a little bit. I wanted it to be gone.

"Yeeaahh suuurree maann. I gots palentyy. Come on down to mah house, we gon' hafa a paarrttaayy."

We went into his house, and I saw the pile of needles and morphling on his kitchen counter. I filled a needle up as I was used to, and positioned it near one of my central veins.

I took a deep breath.

_I'm sorry, Annie. But I need the pain to go away._

I pushed it into my skin, and let my fear wash away.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**DON'T YELL AT MEEEEEE! IT GETS BETTERRR. OKAY SORT OF. AND THEN IT FALLS TO SHIT AGAIN. AND THEN IT GETS BETTER. JUST WAIT AND SEEE.**

**AH. Okay so the next chapter will be very emotional for me. I will most likely cry writing it, so I hope you cry reading it! (not that I want you to cry. AH. BUT. BE SAD.)**

**Okay sooooooo yeah! Here is me talking to reviewers:**

Andrea Weasleyy: This is even sadder, I think. The next one is worse. But it's still good, don't worry :P

AnnaMustache: I am in love with you. MARRY ME. That is all.

emmathefart: Coffee? You? I think that could be a scientific explosion. AND I KNOW THAT YOU WEREN'T SLEEPING. I KNOW. SHUNNED. Oh. And I think you're left.

**OKAY PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE IT MAKES ME HAPPY AND MAKES ME UPDATE FASTER.**

**I hate to single you out, but that's just me. I'm lookin' at you EccentricNotOdd. Lookin' at you. REVIEW. HEARTS ALL AROUND DEAR READERS!**


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n:**

**So hey guys. I'm in a sad mood. So imma write this chapter now so I can make it uber duber sad.**

**People suck.**

**Okay besides that. WWAAHHH. CRY. IM SORRY IN ADVANCEEEE. BUT DON'T WORRY. IT GETS BETTER IN TIMEEE.**

Chapter 10:

Finnick POV:

It's been a week since I did the drugs again.

A week to get addicted.

A week of injections.

A week of freedom.

But everyday I still had to go back to Annie. And everyday, I felt worse. About the situation that she was in, but mostly about myself.

She began to get better. She wasn't completely speaking coherently, but she began to talk in her sleep, through her nightmares. First it was just whispers, and then it was screams.

Screams that said, "NO PLEASE!" or "DON'T!"

It was improvement, but I missed a lot of the times that it happened, so I could go to Justin's house and inject the Morphling into my veins. Relief at last.

After I was done and the drug had worn off, I would come home, and carry her out of her bed and set her on the couch. She would eventually wake up, and whenever I saw her piercing brown eyes, I knew what I had done was wrong. But I had to get away.

She finally began to eat her oatmeal when we set it out for her, and she began to put her hands in the water when I brought her to the ocean. She still had that dazed look that I had become accustomed to throughout the past weeks, but she didn't look so afraid anymore.

Once, as I was about to leave for Justin's house, I heard her whisper my name.

"_Finnick."_

She didn't seem afraid when she said that. She seemed. Like she was going to be okay. She sighed, and turned over in her sleep.

I was dumbstruck. I couldn't move, even though one of my legs and one of my arms were all the way out the window. I came back into the room, and sat next to her again, waiting to see if she would say it again.

"_Finnick…"_ she mumbled again. I smiled, and touched her cheek. She sighed and pulled the covers tighter. I climbed into bed next to her, and never let my eyes trail away from her beautiful face.

I woke up to her screaming in my face. Her eyes were open, but unlike other times where she was looking off into the distance, they were looking right at me.

"Annie. It's me. Finnick. Don't scream. Please. Remember me?"

She shook her head and kicked and screamed trying to break free of the firm hold I had on her wrist. Her head banged on the wall behind her and she began to scream even more, blood flowing from the wound she had made from the wall.

Her eyes filled with tears, and I let her go to bring her downstairs so she could go to the hospital. She started to scream again and I could see her trying to form words. I ran to go get a wet towel, but stopped when I heard her voice.

"WHO. ARE. YOU?"

My eyes burned. I didn't know how to answer her. I didn't know who I was just as much as she did.

But I whispered to her, "I'm Finnick."

She shook her head again. "No."

Then she collapsed, her hair slightly red from the gash that had developed on her head from the wall. And that's when Mrs. Cresta finally decided to show up. She looked in horror at her broken daughter.

"Finn. Go get me a towel, so we can bring her to the hospital."

But I couldn't move. I was numb. She didn't know who I was. She never would. I couldn't do this anymore. I stood there for awhile, just staring at the girl that Mrs. Cresta was trying to pull up off of the ground.

She was broken. Broken beyond repair.

Mrs. Cresta noticed my expression, and she grew angry.

"Fine, Finnick. Don't _deal_ with her anymore. She isn't yours to deal with. You can't handle it. Don't think I don't hear you every night, sneaking out to go to that good-for-nothing Justin Dugley's house to go get high off of DRUGS. I know. But I let you go anyway, and do you know why? Because some people have different ways of dealing with things. But this is it. You cannot come here anymore. She isn't your to "deal with" anymore. Leave my house. Never come back."

I looked at her. At my Annie. Mrs. Cresta was holding her tight to her chest and looking at me with regret and no pity whatsoever in her eyes.

I nodded my head slowly and walked down the stairs. It was a miracle that my legs didn't give out on me, but I kept my head high. It was the only way to go.

I walked out the door, and what a surprise. Snow had fallen. I looked back at the house one more time, and saw Mrs. Cresta holding Annie in her arms.

I turned the corner, and never came back.

Annie's POV:

Blood on my hands.

I was being swept away, through an ocean of blood, the trees were bones, swaying in the wind, about to crack. The blood surrounded me, and I noticed that it was also running out of all the pores in my body, surrounding me even more.

I was suddenly pulled under, and I looked down and it was the Career, bleeding out of his neck, and he had holes for eyes. Black holes.

He was smiling maniacally as he pulled me farther and farther down into the depths. I watched as I hit the bottom, and there was a mirror.

The head of Max was at the top of the mirror, and he was crying, and I tried to touch his face to make it better, until I saw my reflection and I began to run away, but the image followed me.

I was covered with blood, and I had holes for eyes too. My mirror self licked it's licked and laughed.

I closed my eyes to get away from her, and I saw someone's face in my head.

He looked beautiful- he had blonde hair and eyes as deep as the sea. The real sea, not the red one that I was in at that moment.

Suddenly his gorgeous eyes disappeared and he began to cry blood, and then he clutched my neck, and I woke up to someone shaking my shoulders.

It was Mom. It had been a week since I had hit my head and woken up from the long coma that I was in since the Hunger Games. I had woken up to my mother, and I I had known exactly who she was when I saw her.

The problem was, I didn't know who anyone else was besides Max and that Career I killed, because sometimes, I would get sucked back into the vortex in my brain and be pulled back there; to the killings.

Where he was killed, and I killed in return.

I had to struggle for a little bit, so I wouldn't get pulled back into the Hunger Games, so it took me awhile to form words. But Mom was used to it, so she was patient with me. For that I was grateful.

"S-sorry. About that," I managed to get out. "Bad… dream."

She nodded and sat down at the edge of my bed. "I know, sweetie. But they seem to be less frequent."

I nodded my head, but on the inside, I was shaking my head no. They were the same amount of dreams, I just didn't want to keep waking her, and so I kept quiet. The bags underneath her eyes were starting to worry me.

"I… saw his face… again…"

She looked sad. "You always seem to, honey."

"Wh-Who is he?"

I knew that she knew, just by the looks on her face when I mentioned him. But she wouldn't tell me for some reason. I sighed and got out of bed to eat breakfast.

Each day was the same. Wake up. eat breakfast. Go outside. Sit by the ocean. Try to figure out why that makes me feel sad and lost. Fail to understand why. Go back inside. Sit and try to watch the television, but end up zoning out. Eat dinner. Go to sleep. Nightmares. Wake up.

And the cycle continues. It was boring.

Then, suddenly, everything snapped into place.

I was getting so bored, just staring at the ocean that I decided to touch the shimmering light that made the blue waters glitter. I made sure to touch one of the sparkles, so I could see if it felt different from the rest of the water.

As soon, as I grazed the wetness, my head snapped back, and I was submerged in my own head again.

Faces went by through my line of vision. Voices. Some screaming, some just crying.

"_Please."_

"_NO!"_

"_I love you. Come home."_

And the voices kept badgering me until the visions came. It was me and that beautiful boy in my dreams, sitting in beautiful cherry trees, the pink flowers falling around his broad shoulders, and angular face.

I watched from afar as he brushed my hair out of my face and smiled at me. I had never seen so much love in that smile.

It switched to us sitting by the ocean, us both staring at the shimmering waters, until I spoke. This time I was close enough to hear the words.

"What are we going to do? This is the only time I get to see you. I miss you so much. All the time. I wish…"

He touched his lips to mine to silence me.

"We'll be okay, you hear me? I love you Annie, no matter what. We're going to get married one day, remember?"

It switched then to a dark room, with me sitting in a chair facing myself and his laying next to me. My other self was shivering and whimpering, clutching at the blankets.

He leaned over and somehow I heard him whisper, "Sh, sweetie it's gonna be okay."

He kissed my sweaty cheek and murmured, "I love you."

And with that, I awoke from my mind. I was immersed in the sand, my legs curled up, and my hands touching the cheek he had kissed. But all I could think of was one word.

"_Finnick."_

I remembered everything.

I needed to find him.

But where to look?

*.*.*.*.*.*

**Okay, so I lied. I'm sorry. The super duper sad one is next though, I swear!**

**BUT THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! I love y'all!**

**And everyone reading should love AnnaMustache. She is the reason why I update so quickly.**

**And to reply to reviews:**

**AnnaMustache: Fanfiction is just magical that way. They delete spazzy letters. It's annoying. Just assume there's a ton at the end of all of my author's notes.**

**Emmathefart: Well, maybe that's why I'm so tall. Coffee's gross. And yeah, Finnick is a butt in this instance, but he's fucked up too! He had to go through the Hunger Games as well! And yep. Virtual mushrooms up da nose sounds like a good punishment. Also throwing goats at him! And virtual cookies and milkshakes are yummy!**

**OKAY TA-TA FOR NOW HOME SKILLETS. PLEASE REVIEW SO YOU WILL FOREVER BE IN MY HEART!**


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n**

**All right guys. Be prepared for the sadness. Bring tissues.**

**I really and truly hope that this sparks emotions in you all, because I really want to get this right, which is why this won't be uploaded as fast as the other ones.**

**Also, fanfiction isn't sending me e-mails when people review! TEAR!**

**Okay so. I forgot to put songs in the author's notes, but here's two songs that I will be listening to while reading this, so maybe you might want to listen to 'em to get the feeling of this here chapter.**

"**Love More" and "re: Stacks" by: Bon Iver (I'm a little obsessed with them- they won best new artist at the Grammys by the way)**

**Okay so here's the chapter! Hope you enjoy it!**

**Oh! And so, I had an idea of bringing back songs into it, because in the beginning Annie liked to sing, and so I was going to tie that back in, since it didn't really go anywhere… tell me if you like that idea!**

**Oh, and I always imagined Justin's voice where he had emphasize on his consonants (kinda hard to put that in writing). So yeah. Just read it like that.**

Chapter 11

I walked home from the beach with a huge smile on my face. I remembered. Every kiss, every touch, every promise. Back in my head; hopefully for forever.

Every memory came to me in flashes. Flashes of smiles, flashes of his beautiful eyes looking into mine. Every touch, every kiss gave me butterflies all over again. I experienced everything all over again in just a few moments. Or was it hours? Or days? I couldn't tell.

I paused for a moment before I pushed open the door to my house, trying to wipe my blush off of my face. It was just starting to get dark out, the sun slowing setting on the blue waters.

So I sat down at the dinner table across from Mom, but pretended to be looking off into the distance, back in my flashbacks. I saw the sad look on her face, but I figured that that could be her punishment for not telling me who Finnick was.

_Finnick._

It took all of my strength not to smile when his name echoed in my mind.

When we finally finished eating, I went straight up to my room to pretend to sleep. But, unfortunately, Mom followed me into my room, and sat in her usual place, the rocking chair next to my bed. I sighed and got underneath the covers.

I took a big (pretend) yawn and said, "You… don't have to stay. Go…sleep. I'm o-okay."

I still had a little trouble speaking, because of the constant nightmares and thoughts that tormented my mind. It was still hard to pull out of my brain to speak in the real world. It was almost as if I would get stuck in the mess that was my head, and not be able to deal with reality.

It was annoying.

She nodded her head, not putting up a fight, because we both knew how uncomfortable the rocking chair was. There were no cushions on it, and even some splinters sticking out of the arms. The blankets that she had tried to soften it did not work at all.

She kissed my head, and went down the hall to her own room. I waited until I could hear her slight snores, which took about an hour or so, when I finally decided that it would be safe to leave.

I slowly crept out the window, and tried to climb along the rocks and cement that made up the wall. I got down about halfway, but ended up falling onto the grass with a soft, "_oof."_ I held my breath as I listened right next to Mom's window, to see if her steady snores faltered.

They didn't. And so I continued on my way.

I listened in the night for some sort of signal as to where he was, but all I heard was darkness and the continual lapping of water against the beach, right next to the street I was on.

I continued along the road, until I reached the edge of the Victor's Village. No lights were on. I knew Finnick would be awake at this time, because of his insomnia. He would always keep his light on.

So once I looked at all the dark houses, I turned around and went back. I walked in peace under the light of the streetlights and the moon, calm at last. I thought of nothing but everything as I finally had time to myself, for the first time in months.

I was extra quiet as I passed my house, making sure to stand under Mom's open window to check for her steady snoring. It was still there. So I continued on way down the long winding street, looking for my Finnick.

Then suddenly, as I was walking along the abandoned road, the streetlamp flickered and went out. I heard footsteps behind me, and I wanted to scream. But this time, I wasn't screaming because of the thoughts in my head. It was the real world, for a change, that was dangerous. I couldn't get a word out of my mouth.

I heard footsteps behind the lamp. My mouth opened wide to form a silent scream, when I heard a familiar voice come from the silhouette.

"Well, well, well, innit the caaarrraaazy beyotch?"

I took a step back in embarrassment and anger. I didn't like to be called crazy. Sure, I hadn't had much experience with being called that, but still his words managed to hurt me.

I had known Justin for a while, since he was Finnick's friend, I had gotten to know him when I visited Finnick way back when. He seemed nice and funny enough to me, but also somewhat… messed up from the Games. I mean, who wasn't?

Justin laughed and put his arms around my neck in a tight grip, which I was sure was meant to be friendly, but really, just ended up just hurting me. He smelled of urine and some other tangy smell, that I couldn't quite figure out what it was. I struggled to get out of his hold, but he had won the Hunger Games on pure strength, and pure strength alone.

He grinned even more, and then the streetlamp came on again. I finally got to see his face in the light. His teeth were gross and yellow, one in the front missing. He looked 20 years older, even though he was only a few years older then Finnick and I.

His eyes were sullen and bloodshot, looking away from me slightly.

As I took in his facial deformities, he managed to take his arm from around my neck and to my wrist in one swift movement, without even giving me any time to run away from him. He grinned at me, his yellow teeth looking grey in the light that the streetlamp gave off.

I wondered what had happened to make him be this way.

Then I remembered. Max was Justin's brother. They were siblings. I had watched his brother die, right in front of me; but so did he.

I wanted to scream or cry or even sickeningly laugh, because of the irony. But I kept quiet, and just let the visions come to me, so I could deal with them quietly. I didn't want Justin, his brother, to be dragged into this.

"Let's have a little fun, shall we?"

I shook my head as he tried to drag me to the woods, and I wanted to scream. But I couldn't because of the visions that bombarded the walls of my briain. As soon as we got out of the light beam that came off of the streetlight, I finally managed to pull myself out of my head, by shutting out all of my thoughts and whispering, "Where's. Finnick?"

His shoulders slumped and he stopped trying to pull me off to do whatever he wanted to do to me.

"Oh, so no fun for us then?" He saw me vigorously shake my head and sighed a huge and heavy sigh. "Fiiiinnnneee. I know where he is. But yah messed him up, Annie darlin', you messed him up reeeaaaal good."

My eyebrows creased in confusion. What had I done to mess him up? I didn't remember anything that I could have done. Maybe my… sickness made him upset. Yes. That must be it.

I was shocked out of my thoughts when I noticed that Justin had been pulling me towards a house, just around the corner from me. I had chosen not to turn, but chose to keep walking along the ocean, because for some reason the constant slapping of the ocean on the sand was comforting to me and kept me grounded to reality.

As soon as that continual reminder was gone from my earshot, the thoughts started to attack me again. The Games. Max. The Career. Blood. But I kept it together, and pushed those thoughts away. I was going to find Finnick, and I needed to at least act a little sane when I did.

Justin and I walked up the steps to his house, and I noticed that all the lights were on in the entire house. Though it didn't seem… happy. Just eery.

I wearily walked up the steps, wondering what I would find. I walked into the room and was immediately greeted by smoke from a cigarette. I coughed and sputtered as the person who had made it laughed, or more like grunted.

Looking around the room, I saw about fifteen to twenty people in Justin's living room and kitchen. Everyone that was there had won the Hunger Games, but it was all the ones who had been known to be very much troubled in the aftermath.

There were piles of alcohol scattered around the room, mostly near certain people. Some were slumped on the couches, with their eyes closed, and some seemed to be talking to themselves. Some were calmly smoking cigarettes and some were doing shots on the table.

A lot of people had stopped what they were doing when I walked in, but immediately ignored me and continued. I shivered as I felt Justin, who had let me go, come up behind me and whispered into my ear, "This what I like to call the 'Hunger Games Pity Party.' You're welcome here of course, since you were in the Games, and you pity yourself."

I shook my head when he said "you pity yourself," but he touched his fingers to my lips as if to silence me. "There he is," he said, as he pointed to the far corner at the end of his large living room. I nodded my head and slowly moved towards him. As I got closer, I noticed the pile of beer cans and whiskey that was stacked next to him.

Someone on the couch next to him saw me approaching and said, "He's been there for days. Hasn't moved an inch. I don't even think he sleeps."

I took a deep breath and finally spoke, "He… doesn't,"

At my voice, I saw him quiver and slowly turn around. At this point, everyone in the room was silent; watching us. But I didn't notice them.

All I saw was him. The person who used to be my sun, my oxygen. The one who had promised to marry me one day.

But that person wasn't the person kneeling in front of me. This Finnick had hair down to his shoulders, greasy and almost brown looking, not the gold I had seen before. He had dark bags hanging underneath his eyes, which were enflamed and red. I could barely see the blue that had once made me melt into his loving arms.

His skin was sullen and yellow-ish. His hands shook, and I noticed red marks up and down his arms. His face was contorted in such pain, a pain I had never seen before; a pain I never wanted to see again.

Then, I noticed the needles that littered the ground near his feat.

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.

He had promised never to do that again. He had promised. He scared me when he did drugs and was not the person I had fallen in love with.

There was a certain… distraught look in his eyes, and they moved back in forth, between me and the wall behind me.

I struggled for a moment, trying to get out of my mind, but it was so hard. So hard to ignore the memories that wanted to burst out of me, that I could not clutch at the corners of my mind to get out. My hands kept slipping at the edge of the dark hole that occupied my brain.

I waited for him to say something, so that maybe I could pull myself out and say what I needed to.

After awhile of him just staring at me, he slowly turned back around, and sat down. He took a swig from the whiskey bottle and fumbled with the needle next to him, finding nothing inside and cursing under his breath.

My hands started to shake as I leaned down next to him.

I finally found the words that needed to be said.

"Who are you?"

They were straight forward. No pauses. No trailing off. I was certain this time, on my words. There were no set-backs.

His whole body started to tremble and shake, and then he stood up and turned around in one swift movement and grabbed my shoulders.

"Who am I? If I knew, then why would I be here Annie? Where were you? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME? HUH?"

I pushed his hands off of me, and backed away slowly, shaking my head. "D-don't… say that. I'm r-right here..."

I wasn't so certain of my words anymore. I was unsure of what to say. I didn't know what to do. The hands of Max and the Career and the evil Finnick in my dream grabbed at me, and it took all of my might not to black out right there.

His face grew softer, but the pain was even more clear now without the anger. "In losing you, Annie, I lost myself. You're gone."

I shook my head, and kept shaking it until I reached the door, my eyes never leaving his bloodshot ones, the ones that used to give me butterflies, but now only made me want to throw-up

"No." I whispered quietly, but loud enough for him to hear.

And then I left.

Left forever.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I walked back into the house, through the front. I was cold; hollow. I saw the sun rising, gleaming against the windows of the kitchen, and noticed that I hadn't slept at all. But I couldn't sleep.

I slowly walked up the stairs, to see my mom sleeping in her room. She was still snoring, and she seemed… at peace for the first time in a while. I sighed and moved down the hallway to my room. I stripped off all of my clothes and laid them nicely on the bed, making sure to fold them neatly.

I walked down the rest of the hallway to the bathroom, where I turned on the shower and quietly stepped in. I didn't wash up with the surplus of shampoo and conditioner that lined the sides of the tub. I just let the water wash away the pain.

I curled up into a ball at the bottom of the tub, right where the water could hit my face, leaving no trace of the tears that rolled down my cheeks as I replayed what he said in my mind over and over again.

"You're gone."

I couldn't be gone. I couldn't stay the way I was. The demons that haunted me had to go away; they just had to.

Or I wouldn't be able to live with them.

My mind decided to go insane again, and my head snapped back like it did by the ocean and I started thinking of the memories Finnick and I had shared.

"Bitch."

"Selfish."

"Ugly."

It was camp, the summer where I became best friends with Finnick.

The words pestered me, the ones that I heard and the ones that I knew were true. The girls all looked at me with utter hate in their eyes, and I knew I could not sit there and listen to them accuse me of being those things anymore.

So I ran. I ran away to the only place where I could feel better.

The dock.

I sat on the edge of it as the tears trickled down my cheeks and into the salty ocean water. I waited, until he finally showed up. I knew he would come.

All he did was silently put his arm around my shoulder and pull me close. In his arms, I felt so safe.

He just silently held me, rocking back and forth, until my sobs subsided and he whispered, "Everything's going to be okay."

I nodded into his shoulder, and then the memory changed.

We were lying under the stars on the beach, a year after we had "graduated" from camp, and I had come to visit him for the weekend.

We just laid like there watching the constellations spread out like a blanket in front of our eyes, listened to the waves as they hit the sand

At this time, I had been thinking for about all of my friends. After so long, almost all of my friends and I had grown apart. So many had left me, so many I had left. I was feeling terrible about everything, so I was talking to him about it.

"Why does everyone leave me, Finnick? Why?" My voice cracked.

"What do I keep doing wrong?"

He immediately turned over so his face was leaning over mine. "Listen to me, Annie Cresta. I will never leave you. That's a promise, and I intend to keep it."

He kissed me, and I was reminded of the warmth I felt.

I opened my eyes.

I was not by the beach with Finnick anymore.

I was in my shower, the water now freezing cold, feeling hollow and dead, waiting for someone to comfort me. Someone who would never come again.

Flashes of him went before my eyes.

Him smiling at me.

Him blushing right after I kissed him.

Him laughing.

Him grabbing my hand for no reason at all.

Him listening.

Him crying.

Him leaving.

Him in pain.

Him.

I just couldn't take the constant reminder of him that my memory always seemed to bring me.

He needed to get out of my head.

Maybe, since I had remembered him by hitting my head on the wall, I could forget him by doing the same.

I crawled over to the side of the bathtub that faced the wall, the part that was farthest away from the drain.

I slowly turned myself around, and laid against that part for a moment.

Just thinking.

All the faces that I've hurt and have hurt me flashed before my eyes.

Max. The Career. Justin. My mother. Those girls at my camp. All my friends that were now gone.

Finnick.

"You promised," I whispered, letting all the pain I felt into those two words.

And with him resonating in my mind, I leaned my head forward and banged it against the wall.

I wanted to laugh. Finally I could be released from the pain he had brought me tonight. And so I did it again.

And again.

And again.

Until the blood poured across my pale body and mixed with the water in beautiful whirlpools that got sucked down the drain; gone forever. I watched those two different essences twirl together in intricate patterns, staining the walls of the white tub.

And just as I was about to lose consciousness, I heard footsteps and someone screaming my name.

Finally.

He was gone.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**Okay, I must say that I am actually super proud of myself.**

**I sincerely hoped that this sparked emotions in you.**

**And I would just like to say that, no, she is not suicidal. Rereading it, I noticed that it may seem that way. But, hence her crazy thinking, she thought that her memories would go away if she banged her head against the wall.**

**So bam. Not trying to kill herself. Everyone calm your pants.**

**Please review, especially to the ones that have subscribed, because I need some serious motivation and inspiration to move on with this (not to keep you hangin' and what not but yeah).**

**Thank you, and I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter!**

**And now for responding to reviews (mah regulars are wonderful people):**

**AnnaMustache: I believe that chant should be sung throughout the land. Replace the National Anthem, with that one and you got yourself an awesome country. I hope I gave you more chills! Yep. This is preettyyy freaking creepy. Dat's how I roll. And yes, she does have green eyes, oops! I'll change that…**

**Emmathefart: You literally made me die from laughter. And does President Snow really cackle? I couldn't really imagine what's his face who's playing him cackling… that would be like… confusing… And yesh, I was actually really surprised about how Annie turned out. I seriously surprise myself a lot in this story haha… And oops. Got you in trouble again. SUCKS FO' YOU!**

**OKAY BYE PEOPLE. LOVE YOU ALL!**


	12. Chapter 12

**a/n**

**Sorry this is late you guys. I've been so… road blocked lately. I don't know.**

**I NEED MOTIVATION. SERIOUSLY. REVIEW PLEASE IT MAY DECIDE THE FATE OF THIS STORY! SO REVIEW!**

**Okay, so. It gets better soon. I'm bringing back music into Annie's life, because it was there in the beginning, but wasn't exactly followed up. So I've taken awhile to figure out what instrument she's gonna play… but then I decided that she can play both the ones that I wanted her to.**

**That will all make sense once you read this.**

**Now, if you haven't listened to any of the songs that I have suggested, or the lyrics that I've put in, PLEASE DO FOR THIS CHAPTER. IT WON'T MAKE SENSE IF YOU DON'T. SERIOUSLY.**

**Songs to look up (when they come up in the chapter): The Swell Season (hard to find the actual song sorry- in my author's description!) and The Road from the movie, The Road.**

Chapter 12

I woke up to the constant beeping of the heart monitor beside my bed. I felt the warmness of the sheets against my skin, and noticed the thin piece of cloth that was secured behind my back and neck with string. I took a deep breath and smelt the air, tasting the flavor of antibiotics on the air on my tongue.

My eyes slowly opened and I was immediately greeted by white. The tiles on the ceiling were white, my sheets were white, the lights were white. Even my pale hands had turned a ghostly shade of white.

The only splash of color in the room was the mahogany couch in the corner, containing my mother. My eyes rolled around, without me moving my head to look around in the room. My expression never changed, it's what I would have expected.

I slowly took my hand that was clutching the sheets and raised it to the back of my head, feeling the huge bandage. My head hurt of course, but definitely something I could ignore.

My heart felt heavy inside my chest. It seemed to be weighing me down, and I checked under the blankets just to make sure that there wasn't a bowling ball on top of my ribcage.

I looked like a skeleton. There was hardly any fat on my legs, and I could count every single one of my ribs. My skin was sullen and pallid.

I finally decided to get out of bed, but something pulled at my arm, and I was forced to sit down. I finally noticed the wire binding me from my arm to the monitor beside my bed. I made a noise of discontent, and I heard my mom get up from the couch.

"Nurse! She's awake!"

She looked at me slowly, all of the sorrow and fear in her eyes shining, her eyelids brimming with tears. I gazed back, not feeling or expressing emotion. I couldn't show how I felt if I didn't even know myself.

The nurse came in with a big smile on my face, a smile that I despised. How could she be so happy? It was sickening.

She noticed my disgusted expression, and her face waned to a solemnity. She checked my I.D. and tried to have small talk with me, but I wouldn't hear it. I honestly did not care about anything that she had to say. The doctor came in immediately after that and asked how I was feeling.

I opened my mouth to try and say, "Fine," but no words would come. I felt numb inside. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't do anything. I was a robot.

He frowned and whispered something to the nurse who ran away to another room. I just looked past them all and stared at the white ceiling and closed my eyes. My mother and the doctor started murmuring in the corner, but I drowned them out.

All I could see were eyes. Eyes flashing at me, hungry for blood. Eyes looking at me in terror. Eyes watching me. Eyes showing complete love.

Eyes staring at me, in absolute pain.

That pair of eyes were the ones that haunted me the worst.

All I saw were eyes. Gold ones streaked with grey. Brown ones that were bloodshot. Green eyes, like my own, who looked at me with pity and sorrow.

Then blue eyes, like the sea on a summer day, the sides crinkled up in a beautiful laugh.

Eyes like the ocean, brimming with tears and looking at me with absolute pain.

I don't know how long I just lay there in the bed, getting lost in all the eyes that I would never see happy again. Eventually, the doctor came in with an x-ray of a head; I was guessing mine, since I saw the dent in the back.

He said, "Well, according to this, everything that needs to be working is perfect, but…"

I held my breath, wondering why I could not speak at all.

"She seems to have major post-traumatic stress disorder, which may be the reason that she cannot speak. Eventually, her ability to talk should come back, but for now, Mrs. Cresta, you just need to take her home and make her comfortable so she can make her way back from the corners of her mind and back to you."

My mom nodded, not even shedding a tear, for she had gone through something like this before.

I watched the doctor's eyes, light blue and somewhat frothy. He seemed like a pretty nice person, but pretty rushed and not so much caring about me as other patients.

So, my mother and I left the hospital. They had luckily brought me clothes, or she had put some on me when she found me, because it would not have been comfortable to walk home in that hospital gown.

For the next few days, my house was like a morgue; silent. I didn't speak, and although my mother did, her fake smiles at me didn't reach her eyes.

I didn't listen.

I just looked behind her and watched the eyes that play before mine.

After a few days of just this, my life was changed on a trip to the music store two blocks down from mine, they place where my mother had taken a job to pay with the medical expenses. Although the Capitol gave us a bit of money, they didn't want to take care of the crazy person.

My mother was giving guitar lessons, but she didn't want to leave me alone at the house, so she brought me along with her.

We walked in, and were immediately greeted by walls upon walls of posters of different bands and singers. I turned around in amazement, of course, no emotion reaching my face, but on the inside was astonished. Even the ceiling was covered with the magnificent posters.

As I was looking around I heard my mom calling my name and I ran up to the counter where she was talking to this cool-looing woman, with long black dreads and a nose ring.

"All right, Rose, I'm going to go upstairs now. Annie, I'm assuming you just want to stay down here?"

I nodded and got lost in the posters again, looking at all the beautiful colors and designs. Mom whispered to this so-called Rose, and she nodded, looking at me with pity.

I tried to ignore it, and looked around the store. There were a few people around, listening to music on the side of the room, or looking through sheet music. I saw one guy, who worked there according to his t-shirt, watching me with a smile. His brown-gold eyes sparkled with warmth and welcome to me.

I smiled back tentatively, noticing that his eyes seemed so… nice. I stared and smiled for a few more seconds than I should have, and then looked at the wooden racks that ran up and down the middle of the store.

They had acoustic guitars, electric guitars, a small drum set, basses, microphones that lined on the top of the wooden racks. They even had a long bassoon in the corner.

But the thing that really caught my eye was the piano in the front of the store. I hadn't seen it because of my shock at the marvelous posters.

My breath caught as I took in the sight of it. It was a black grand piano, with a plush black bench. I walked slowly up to it and ran my hand across the seek keys. I shivered from wanting to touch them.

You see, I used to play piano when I was little, for about 4 years, until I was forced to go to camp, and I just didn't have time for it anymore. But every time I would get a chance to play, I would just lose myself in the music.

I realized that I hadn't played since I'd met… him. I couldn't even say his name in my head.

I suddenly had the strong urge to play, as if I NEEDED to play; as if my life depended on it.

I looked back at the counter to see that Rose was staring at me, smiling. It was the first time I saw someone smile at me, and I mean TRULY smile in so long. "You can play if you want to. As long as you're good."

I eagerly sat down, but then realized that I would need sheet music. I sprinted to the rack of sheet music (luckily no one was there at the time) and looked through the pikes until I found a piece that I knew.

It was called "The Swell Season," and not many people know it, but since I liked to play pieces that no one knew, so they didn't have to compare me to anything, I loved it.

This song was haunting, exactly something that I would want to play. If I couldn't talk, I needed something to express how I was feeling. Maybe music could.

I put the music on the piano, sat down and rested my fingers on the glossy keys. I instantly felt at home there, and I smiled a little bit, the first time I showed emotion in so long.

I began to play the first few cords, and the music swept me away into a world that I had once known, but chose to forget. I heard each note in my head, and it reverberated off of the walls of my mind, making me shiver from the sound.

I poured my emotion into the keys, letting all of my fear and pain into them.

Once I finished the last few notes, letting the last note fade away, I finally noticed that store had become silent, and I looked around to see everyone staring at me. They all stared at me for a moment, looks of awe on their faces, until the boy who worked there, with the golden eyes, began to clap.

I listened as everyone in the store broke into loud applause, grinning. Rose was watching me with watery eyes and grinning, and motioned with her hand to come over. As I walked past people, some of them slapped me on my back in appreciation. That boy who was working there walked up to the counter as well.

"Hey! That was amazing! When did you learn how to do that?"

I shrugged my shoulders, and didn't respond, keeping a straight face. I couldn't let anyone in anymore, no matter how nice they are to me. Her smile faltered a little bit, but she kept it up.

"Oh, this is Gabriel, he works here. I think he's you're age…"

I nodded and looked into his golden eyes. I could tell, just through his eyes that he was a good person. I could see that for both of them. So I concluded that I wouldn't let them in, but I could trust them enough to stick around.

He smiled at me, without falter. "You're an amazing pianist."

I gave him a teeny tiny smile and just stood there awkwardly until he said, "You know, I play an instrument too."

I was uninterested, because it was probably something like the electric guitar, and that really wasn't in my music genre.

"I play the violin. Maybe we could play together sometime."

I nodded slowly and wandered back to the sheet music, looking for more songs to play. For a week, I went back there. After awhile, Rose began to leave notebooks out for me at the counter, in case I wanted to ask her for any music or just to chat. Gabriel hadn't been there for a couple of days, and I just ignored it, thinking he had just come down with a cold.

He was very nice to me, and welcoming, but luckily, I did not see any romance in his eyes. Just sweetness, something I would want a best friend with.

I began to be happy again.

But there was always something missing, something lost.

The eyes would always pester my mind; always haunt me. I couldn't get away. The only time I could, was when I played my music. The only thing on my mind was the song, and how the notes sounded.

Music set me free from my demons, if only for a moment.

Then, 2 weeks passed. I had been playing all the sheet music for piano, of course, none of that dumb happy stuff, because pouring my heart and soul into the piece did not have anything to do with happiness. I had reached the O's and had just finished the song, "Opus 23," when I noticed that Gabriel was still not here.

I went up to Rose at the counter and took my notebook and wrote, "_What happened to Gabriel?_"

She looked at and heaved a sad sigh and beckoned over to the corner of the music shop.

"It's a very touchy topic, are you sure you want to know?"

I nodded slowly. I could handle it.

"He's been engaged to this woman in town, who was diagnosed with some rare disease that wears away the body. When he got engaged to her, she could not walk. Now, she cannot move, or talk or function. It is likely that she will die. He needed to be beside her until the end, and that is why he has not been here."

Tears had come to her eyes once she had finished, and I just stood there, shocked. He had to watch her wear away, right before his eyes.

Now I understood. He didn't work at the music store because he needed the money; he worked here because he needed a release, just like I did. Our release from the horrors of the world is music.

I backed away from Rose, and slowly walked to Gabe's music stand, the place where he would always practice his violin, and looked through the sheets scattered there, I plan slowly forming in my head.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

It was two weeks before Gabriel came back to the store.

He was a mess. His black hair was greasy and knotted, his black shirt was dirty and frayed at the edges, and his jeans dirty. His golden eyes had darkened to a gross brown color and his eyes were blood-shot and hollow.

Rose and I watched him walk in. He used to walk with a purpose, as if he always new why he was walking. Now, he just seemed lost.

As he approached the register, Rose called out to him gently, "Gabe, maybe you should stay home for a little bit longer."

He grew angry and snapped, "No! I need… to do something other than staying in that god damn house another minute."

His sudden rage scared me. I had never seen him like this, but I still new I had to grow through with my plan, so he could begin to heal.

He walked over to his usual spot, to his violin, and just sat down, staring at it. I began to walk silently over to him, and watched as he reached over to his violin and started to caress the sleek top of it, the wood smooth under his fingertips.

I kept walking until I could see his face, which had turned from sorrow to wrath in just a few moments. He grabbed the neck of his beloved instrument and raised it over his head as if to smash it.

I ran the last few steps towards him, and grabbed the violin, knowing that I wouldn't be able to stop him with strength, but hoping that he could loosen his grip, even if for a few moments, so I could drag him over to the piano.

We stared at each other for a few seconds, until he loosened his grip on the neck of the violin, and I took it into my hands. I beckoned him over to the piano by cocking my head towards the instrument and walking over, hoping he would follow me. He did.

I had set up a music stand for him already, and had made sure it was the right size for him, so he wouldn't have to do anything but play. I sat down at the piano and looked up at him, gesturing with my eyes at the stand so he could see the music that rested there.

He looked down, and his eyes softened, and I even saw hints of a smile on his cracked lips. He nodded and I rested my hands on the keys, and took a deep breath.

The song was called, "The Road," and when I first looked at it, and saw that it was very simple, I almost looked over it. But, I had a feeling that I should look at it all the same. When I began to play, I knew that this would be perfect- the perfect song for Gabriel and I to play together.

And as I began to play, I knew it was right. The violin and the piano both played different melodies that danced together in ways that I had never heard before in my life.

They were both sounds of loss.

We had both lost something, something that we may never feel or see again.

This song let us pour or sense of loss and heartbreak into the notes, making us weep as we played, and tearing our hearts out as well as mending them.

My whole body swayed to the sound. My eyes were closed, since I had memorized the notes, and tears rolled down my cheeks. I watched parts of _him_ fly across the insides of my eyelids; his lips curled into a smile, his golden hair blowing in the wind. His cheeks red after I had kissed him, his forehead creased in playful questioning. His deep blue eyes, showing me into his heart and melting me into his soul.

I got lost in those eyes, the music perfectly expressing how I felt.

I played the last note, and it lingered in the air, and I could almost hear him whisper in my ear the words I had longed to hear for the past few weeks.

_I love you._

I opened my eyes, and saw tears running down Gabriel's closed eyes. Rose had come up to stand against the wall next to him, and she was staring at me, with tears in her eyes as well and nodded at me and mouthed, "You're wonderful."

I smiled sadly and waited for him to look at me. When he finally did, I saw life in his golden eyes again, and I stood up to stand face to face with him. He held my shoulders, looked into my eyes and said, "Thank you, Annie."

I nodded and he leaned down to hug me, and I hugged him right back and kissed him on the cheek, since I had felt close enough to him now to do so. He took a deep breath, smiled and turned to Rose, giving her a hug too.

I sat back down at the piano, rested my head on the top and stared off into the distance, trying to think of what I was going to do.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Finnick's POV:

I watched her.

I watched her sit down at the piano everyday, ever since someone had told me how she would go to the music store everyday to play.

She was mesmerizing to watch.

Some people would probably question me going into this restaurant everyday and only ordering coffee and a donut, but it was only to watch her from the window that was right across from the store.

I had watched her everyday for three weeks.

Today was like any other day. I had ordered my donut and coffee, and got a flirtatious smile from the waitress, as to which I ignored.

I watched a new figure walk into the store today though, before it was even open, so I figured he must have worked there, although I had never seen him before. To be honest, he looked like shit.

I sat there for a few moments, having already seen Annie walk into the store, and waited for her to sit at her piano. But this time, she was pulling along the man I had seen walk into the store. They both looked solemn.

I sat there on the edge of my seat, wondering who in the hell this guy was.

Then, she began to play. I watched the emotion that crossed her face, each and every thing I did to her was splayed across her beautiful face, and my stomach churned with guilt.

It was all my fault.

It was all my fault for her pain.

I watched as the man next to her was also playing, pain also on his face. But I didn't care so much for him, as I noticed the tears that were rolling down her beautiful cheeks.

I noticed my eyes begin to tear up, because all I wanted to do was to be able to wipe her tears away and tell her how I would always love her, and would never leave her.

But I did. I left her. And there was nothing I could do to change that.

And so, all I could do was watch and wait.

Wait until I could figure out how to make it up to her, although I knew in my heart I never could.

But until then, I just watched.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**Sorry about the long wait guys! I tried!**

**I WAS SO SWAMPED!**

**Okay so, just a warning, I'm probably not going to upload for a bit, because I have my spring break in a week! Yay! I'M GOING SOMEWHERE TROPICAL. IM SO EXCITED.**

**But, until then, dear readers, please review! I NEED MOTIVATION!**

**Song links are in my description! PLEASE LISTEN! SERIOUSLY!**

**Reviews!**

**Random: Her mom found her, Finnick was still at the house being a butthole. And thank you!**

**Kamlovespeeta: All I will say is this: shit goes doowwnn.**

**Emmyandtabby: I do agree, change it to emmathefart, for it is a more enjoyable title, for you my dear. And I read your story! I LOVED IT! I feel special :D And parent will never understand our insanity, do they? And yep, "Hotshot" looked terrible, but that's the badness of drugs. DON'T DO DRUGS Y'ALL. And yep, Annie's crazyyy. Thank you! I love your reviews haha. Thanks!**

**I apologize if this one is f-ed up, please tell me in the reviews. I was so late and excited to post this that I didn't edit it. Sorry! At least it's longer than normal ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**a/n:**

**Hey guys! SO HERE'S ANOTHER CHAPTER!**

**SHIT GOES DOOOWWWNNNN.**

**Another song too, "All The Pretty Little Ponies," by: Kenny Loggins, "Turn to Stone," by: Ingrid Michelson and "9 Crimes," by: Damien Rice**

**Hope you enjoy!**

**Annie's POV again- I will indicate when it's Finnick's, but usually I'll start with Annie.**

Chapter 13

It had been two months since I first came to the music shop. Two months since I was saved by music. Two months since my last words I had ever spoken.

_You promised._

Those words would resound in my head every time I would try and sleep. His eyes followed me wherever I went. Whenever I saw the same color blue, or something similar, I would have to close my eyes so I wouldn't faint from the sudden rush of his eyes boring into mine.

I had finally gotten passed the depressed stage of loss, and was into the anger one. My new therapist said there were 5 steps, but they didn't seem like "steps" to me. More like waves of emotion that hit me a like a tsunami.

The worst part was, no one had even died. I had lost someone, because they chose to leave me.

I couldn't live myself.

I kept asking myself what was wrong with me. Why did EVERYONE have to leave?

One night, I looked outside to the see the ocean, and his eyes came before mine, the ones that were bloodshot and crazed with drugs, and I was filled with anger.

I screamed and hit my wall, leaving a dent in the painted wood. My eyes filled with tears of rage and I continued to hit the wall until my mother came running in. I collapsed into her arms in fits of tears and rage.

She would sing to me, so I could sleep without hearing the voices of my past in my head. It was a song that she used to sing with my father when I was a baby. She would play the guitar and he would sing to me.

It was the most calming experience that I had ever felt.

Her voice was smooth and in-tune, but it wasn't the same as when my dad used to sing it. His voice would reverberate off the walls, and engulfed me until I had drifted off to sleep.

Whenever she would play that song, her voice was always replaced by his in my mind.

I missed my daddy. He had been lost out at sea when I was eight years old. Everyday I would come home, hoping with all of my heart that they would have found him and he would be standing there with open arms and swing me like he used to.

Sometimes, I would still have hope that he would come home. But in my heart, I knew he was gone.

In the two months that I had been at the music store, which I grew to know as Lisa's, since the name of it was "Lisa's Music and Lyrics," I had become a regular. I noticed how some people would even come during certain times to hear me play.

Luckily, no one else seemed to want, or dare, try to take the instrument away from me. I felt slightly guilty, but upon expressing my worry to Rose, she reassured me that even if someone stepped up, she wouldn't let them play anyway.

"This is your medicine, hon. It's better then any pills they could give you."

Since I still wasn't speaking, my mother had put her foot down and taken me to a therapist. She seemed nice enough; she just didn't seem to understand me too well. She kept saying generic sayings such as, "How does that make you feel?" and stuff like that. I think that she was also a bit frustrated that she couldn't get anything out of me.

My real therapy was the music that I would play everyday for exactly three hours each day, no more no less.

I had grown closer to Gabriel, who still wore a black scrap of fabric around his arm for his late fiancée. We had begun to walk together on our way home, since it was in the same direction.

He understood me, even without my lack verbal communication. I felt safe around him. He made me smile with his quirkiness.

One day, I was playing a tough piece called, "Turned to Stone," when I happened to look out the window, trying to go for a dramatic effect for my listeners. There was a quant little restaurant across from the music store, and I looked in the window to see if it could be a place where I might want to stop by for lunch before I came to the store.

I squinted to see better, and my heart stopped.

All I could see were blue eyes deep as the waters outside my bedroom window, staring at me.

I couldn't breathe.

He was watching me. He was close.

His eyes flashed before me as they always did, but this time, I heard things too. I heard his laugh, and saw how his forehead crinkled when he smiled.

I heard him whisper in my ear, "_I love you."_

I heard him say, "You're gone, Annie."

I flinched at the last one, and opened my eyes.

Everyone was staring at me with their eyes wide open in shock. It was the first time I had ever stopped playing in the middle of a song.

I looked away from them, and back to the window, looking for those perfect eyes again. They were gone. I sat there like that for the rest of my three hours, just looking for something that I would never see and having my disturbing memories haunt me.

All of demons were there to follow me. This time, it wasn't eyes. It was full-out people.

My friends, staring at me with utter hatred in their eyes.

The Career, my knife sticking out of his neck.

Max, his dead eyes looking at me for the help I never gave.

My mother's voice, screaming my name when she found me in the bathtub.

And Finnick.

Always Finnick.

I would see different versions of him. The person who I first met. The one I fell in love with at camp that one summer. The one that promised to never leave me. The one that kissed me good night when I was driven insane. The one who left. The one who watched.

My shoulder was shaken, and I jumped two feet in the air, shocked out of my daydreams. Gabriel was standing there and he said gently, "It's time to go home, Annie. Want to walk together?"

I nodded and waved goodbye to Rose, who was looking concerned as we walked out of the Lisa's Music and Lyrics. Gabe and I walked in silence for a while, until he said, "Do you want to talk about it?" holding up a pencil and paper I guessed that he had stolen from the store.

I shook my head and just kicked rocks on the sidewalk. When we were just outside of my house, he stopped me from going inside and suggested that we go sit on the beach for a while until I could be better. I agreed.

We sat far away from the water. He had wanted to go closer, but as soon as we touched the beach I knew I had to stop to prevent any other flashbacks from happening. I didn't want to have anymore that day.

We sat where the sand began and the road ended.

After a few minutes of quiet, he spoke, "I really miss her, Annie."

I nodded and moved closer to him, trying to offer some form of comfort without saying anything. He smiled a little, and moved closer to me as well.

"You know, you remind me of her. It's scary, how much you too are alike."

Then, he suddenly turned towards, leaned down, and kissed me. Right on the lips.

I was so stunned I even started to kiss him back. But then I realized who's lips I wished was there instead of his.

I pulled back, stood up and mouthed, _"No,"_ trying to push my words out of my head, and into my mouth so he could hear me. He nodded calmly, and turned back towards the ocean, as if that's what he had expected from me.

"Who is he?"

I looked across the ocean again, at the shimmers in the water that we used to try and clasp in our fingers. I looked at the color. And I opened my mouth and spoke.

"Finnick."

His name tumbled out of my mouth and washed away with the wind that carried away the sound out to the ocean.

I took a step back in surprise. I talked. I just… spoke. It came so natural. His name was meant to be said by me. My voice sounds hoarse, but relatively good for not using it for two months.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise at my voice, but he still didn't turn towards me.

I bent back down and said, "You're… going to find someone… Gabe."

He shook his head and I saw tears begin to roll down his face as he stared off into the distance. I could tell that he needed to be alone, for there was nothing I could do by staying. I walked slowly back to my house, trying to avoid anymore possibly conversations with anyone, especially my mother.

I looked both ways to cross the street, when my feet stopped in their tracks.

Green eyes met blue, and my world crashed down, just by the expression on his face.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Finnick's POV:

It was all my fault. She's gone. I had lost her.

I was reduced to watching her from afar, and everyday, as her and that… man walked home everyday, I followed them, making sure that everything was okay.

She had become my everything, my everyday activity. I know it sounds so creepy, but it was true.

Today, though, was different then the other days.

She had seen me. She had seen me watching.

I had been admiring how her hands flew across the keys with such grace and elegance, when they abruptly stopped. I had never seen her do that before, for the song was obviously not over yet.

I looked up, and I saw her beautiful eyes staring into mine. I was frozen, unsure of what to do until she looked away, and I ran out the back door of the restaurant.

Then I began to walk home, very slowly, but when I turned around one more time, I saw the door of Lisa's Music and Lyrics open, and I jumped off to the side into someone's backyard.

I watched them as they walked down the street, and right as they were about to go into her house, they walked down to the beach. I ran behind everyone's houses on that block and went up to the corner so I could see them better.

Then, he leaned down and kissed her.

My heart stopped.

He kissed Annie. _My _Annie. But she wasn't mine anymore to stop.

I stared at them, as they kissed and then Annie stood up as if to go back to her house.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to leave.

But I couldn't leave her. Not again.

And so I waited. I waited to make sure that she got into the house, and then… and then maybe I could just stop seeing her everyday. Maybe I could… do something else with my life.

Maybe go off to sea, and never come back again.

She was about to walk across the street, and I shifted a little bit off the corner behind a tree and onto the sidewalk because of the slow drip of rain water falling off of the leaves above my head.

I looked at her; to make sure she wouldn't get hurt and then she saw me.

Her stunning green eyes met mine, and I wanted to run over to her, take her into my arms, and never let her go. Ever again.

But I could not. I had lost her. She was not mine to hold anymore. She was not mine to love anymore.

All I wanted to do though, was express to her how… devastatingly sorry I was. If I didn't, I would not be able to live with myself. Also to tell her that she needed to be happy, even if she wasn't with me. I wanted to see her smile again, even if I had to see it from afar.

So I began to slowly walk towards her. With every step, I wanted to turn back, to keep watching her from afar, to keep hoping that she would forgive me and I could take her back into my arms, but I knew I had to have some closure to this, so I could make her forget about me. So she could be happy again.

Once I got within 40 feet of her, she turned away from me, and ran from the way she came. I stopped, and stood in shock. She didn't want to even talk to me. She was that disgusted with me.

I stood there for a moment, shocked. But then, I decided that she would need me, and so I ran after her. As I ran, I looked back one more time to see that guy that she had been kissing. He was walking towards the ocean with his head down.

I turned back to try and find her, but she was nowhere to be found. I stopped at the small intersection and looked around. The sun was coming down over the ocean water, and I looked up and down the street. There was no one around, a completely barren array of houses.

I frantically looked around again, and then realized where she must have gone. To the only place where she finds comfort. Lisa's Music and Lyrics.

I sprinted with all of my might to the store, hoping to catch a piece of her music so I could understand how she was feeling.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Annie's POV:

I couldn't bear with my guilt. I couldn't hear him say what he was going to.

I knew what he would say. He had always told me he wanted me to be happy. I didn't want to hear him say that he would let me go. I didn't want to let go of him. Not yet. Not ever.

It was so good to finally realize that. No matter how many times I could be haunted by my memories of him, I finally understood that my memories of him were keeping me sane and alive.

It's hard to explain, how I felt in that moment. How it is to be afraid of something, but also to not be able to live without it. I was afraid, of course, to get hurt again. But I knew that I would not be able to speak and _live_ if he wasn't right by my side.

I didn't want to lose him.

But, remembering the kiss with Gabriel, I may already have.

I went to the only place I knew where I could truly express my feelings, in ways that only he could understand. With my music.

So I sprinted as fast as I possibly could to get to the music store and prayed that he would follow me. I took off through the short cut through the forest, so I could get there before he did.

Rose had given me a key to the store, just in case I needed to be there when it was closed. She was amazing.

I burst through the back door, and ran to the sheet music, frantically pulling apart piece by piece until I found the perfect one. It was one that I had played before, but could not say the words, so the real feeling was lost on me.

But now, I knew that I could say the words. I _had _to sing to him. He needed to understand.

I opened all of the windows wide open so he could hear me. I noticed the sun was setting on the beautiful waters and the orange sun shone right onto the piano, making it glow in its beauty.

I sat down, waited a few minutes, just to make sure he was there. I thought I heard a little rustle in the bushes right outside of the door, but trained my eyes away, so I couldn't see him until I was finished.

When I was sure that he was listening, I began to play. The notes were simple and melancholy, perfect for what I was feeling. Right as the lyrics were about to come in, I took a deep breath, and began to sing.

_Leave me out with the waste_

_This is not what I do_

_It's the wrong kind of place_

_To be thinking of you_

_It's the wrong time_

_For somebody new_

_It's a small crime_

_And I've got no excuse_

My voice was soft and lofty, wafting up to the ceiling and out of the window. Luckily, I had time to clear it before I sang, so my voice wasn't too raspy. I closed my eyes, already having memorized the notes, and let my feelings pour into the lyrics.

_Is that alright?_

_Give my gun away when it's loaded_

_Is that alright?_

_If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it_

_Is that alright?_

_Give my gun away when it's loaded_

_Is that alright_

_With you?_

_Leave me out with the waste_

_This is not what I do_

_It's the wrong kind of place_

_To be cheating on you_

_It's the wrong time_

_She's pulling me through_

_It's a small crime_

_And I've got no excuse_

When I jumped into the chorus, I had begun to cry, my tears trailing silent down my cheeks and onto my hands, who were moving across the keys to make the notes that would tell him how much that I still loved him.

_Is that alright?_

_I give my gun away when it's loaded_

_Is that alright?_

_If you don't shoot it, how am I supposed to hold it?_

_Is that alright?_

_I give my gun away when it's loaded_

_Is that alright,_

_Is that alright with you?_

_Is that alright?_

_Is that alright?_

_Is that alright with you?_

_Is that alright?_

_Is that alright?_

_Is that alright with you?_

_No..._

My voice trailed off on the last note, and I finished the last couple of measures, letting the last note linger in the air.

I heard a light _thud_ behind me and I opened my eyes to be met by the sapphire ones I had so longed to see up close and in person for the past two months. I noticed the way they sparkled, but the next thing I noticed was the tears that were making them shine.

My face softened into a small smile and I reached up to wipe them away. He grabbed my hand and held it to his face, never taking his eyes away from me.

He then collapsed to the ground on his knees, still holding onto my hand, and whispered, "Annie, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry…" over and over again, crying. I got down onto my knees too, right next to the piano bench.

"Sshh…" I murmured, and began to cry too.

We sat there for awhile, his head in my hand, just crying, saying all that was needed to be said through our tears. The red sun was shining through, and glinted off of his hair, making it shine like it used to.

He looked up at me, trying to hold back his tears, and pulled my hair behind my hair, just like he used to. That was when I collapsed into his arms, sobbing with all of my might. All of my pain of him leaving me, all of those days of being silent, I let out into his chest.

He kissed my hair and held me until I had calmed down enough to speak.

"I… I'm sorry too… about the… with Gabriel…"

He shook his head, pulled my head back to the crook of his neck, where it fit perfectly and whispered comforts to me until we were enveloped in the oncoming darkness.

I sniffled, and pulled away. I smiled at him, my first genuine smile in months. I had missed him. I looked at him for a moment, the dying sun glinting in his eyes. He looked beautiful. On a whim, I leaned towards him, and kissed him.

He seemed almost surprised, but immediately kissing me back. I put all of my emotion into that kiss, so of course, it lasted for a bit longer than intended.

We pulled away and we just smiled at each other, taking in everything.

And for the first time in so long, I knew that everything would be all right.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**Imma be honest here when I say that I cried when they got back together. Not even kidding.**

**SO SORRY BUT I FORGOT TO UPLOAD THE LAST CHAPTER IMMEDIATELY AFTER I WROTE IT. I DID IT EARLIER I SWWEEAARRR. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAIT.**

**So, I'll upload it tonight, wait to see if I get reviews, and then I'll reply to them beloowwww. YAY EXCITEMENT IS EXCITING.**

**PLEASE TELL ME YOU F-ING LOOKED UP THE SONGS. IF NOT, I WILL MURDER YOU VIRTUALLY, MEANING ALL I CAN DO IT YELL AT YOU VIA CAPS LOCK. RAWR.**

**I would also like to point out that when I clicked the side button on youtube for Ask Answers with the topic of how much of a good kisser you are (I was curious, okay?), it was under "family health." …What?**

**SO ANYWAYS! I WAS A NICE PERSON AND UPLOADED IT FAST BECAUSE TOMORROW I AM LEAVING FOR THE CARRIBEAN! YAAAYYY!**

**Automatic Reviews! SEE GUYS THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU REVIEW! YOU GET REWARDED WITH FASTER UPLOADS!**

**emmathefart: daaammmnnn gurl. You reviewed 20 minutes after I uploaded. I think that's a record. Yeah, she crazy, so she couldn't talk. Yeah, well. Gabe was way too upset with grief, they weren't meant to be. And I AM SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADDIINNGGGG. And hmmm… who to cast for Finnick… tough question. I'll think about it, and then get back to you.**

**OPEN QUESTION FOR ALL: WHO WOULD YOU CAST AS FINNICK? PLEASE TELL.**

**Laughingismyhobbie: I love your name . Yeah, I mean, they can't always be happy. People are drawn into their sadness as well, not just their love story. And thank you, it means a lot **

**Adorablore: Also, great name! Wow, you guys are awesome! And I'm glad I sparked some emotion in you! I try! Thanks so much XD**

**WELL THAT'S IT Y'ALL. TIME TO UPLOAD WHEN I GET HOME FROM SCHOOL. AAAHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED FOR REVIEWS! I HOEP YOU ENJOY! AND REVIEW. SERIOUSLY.**


	14. Chapter 14

**a/n:**

**HEY GUYS! I'M BACK FROM VACATION!**

**And, while on the beaches of the Caribbean, I re-read Mocking jay. I still hated it, but I finally understood what the hell was going on. All right, I have a few questions, if anyone in the reviews would care to answer them.**

**How could the citizens of the Capitol live with those pods all over the place? How could it possibly be an arena with all of the citizens?**

**Why did the citizens leave their homes (in the beginning of when they went to the Capitol- when the houses were empty).**

**And if Snow and the Capitol were watching everything, and had control of EVERYTHING, how could they have looked over Katniss' appearances? I mean there were so many!**

**Also, there just seems to be so much deaths that the impact some of the main character's deaths aren't very memorable, because just soooo many people die! BLAH.**

**So that's what bothered me. But anyways, it at least helped me to have more ideas for continuing this story! So yay for that!**

**So, this chapter is going to basically sum up the 4-5 years between the 70****th**** Hunger Games (the one that Annie won) and the 75****th****. So yeah.**

**ALL RIGHT AND TO THE CHAPTER WE GO!**

Chapter 14

After that momentous night, where Finnick and I finally understood one another again, everything was good again.

My mother finally heaved a sigh of relief, and many, many tears were shed when I spoke, "Mommy, I miss you. Come back to me." Not all of the tears were hers either.

She started her own business in our own house, where she taught kids to play all different kinds of instruments including the guitar and the flute. The only instrument that she didn't teach was the piano. That particular instrument was mine to teach all of the children.

I saved all of the money up for weeks until I could finally pay for half of the huge Grand Piano that sat in the front of Lisa's Music and Lyrics. I would give Rose updates on my finances, until one day she gave it to me for free. I used the money to pay many strong men to carry it all the way down to Finnick's house.

I had no room for it at my house, since our old and withered one was already there. My mom suggested that we throw away that one, but I couldn't let anyone else touch my beautiful piano, let alone practice on it.

When I played, Finnick liked to sit on the edge of the piano bench with his elbow leaning on the top of the piano and just listen to the music that flowed across my fingers and around his living room.

Finnick went back to the camp where we first fell in love, and taught classes how to efficiently catch fish with a trident. He never missed. Not once.

We liked to sit on the beach together, just watching the stars and speaking without having to say anything. Just silent. Our hands linked together forever.

Of course, my "mental illness" still plagued me everyday. Every single day I had to drag myself out of that pit of darkness, struggling to speak through the visions that crossed along my eyelids when my eyes were shut. Sometimes I would even hear things, and would try to put my hands over my ears to try and suppress the screams and torment.

Only a few comforting words from Finnick would bring me back to him.

The worst times were when Finnick had to leave. Since he was a victor, and a very attractive one at that, he was forced to go to the Capitol a lot to go on tours and such. He never really got into what he did on those. He always came back slightly off and almost disturbed, sometimes flinching randomly and looking off into the distance.

He wouldn't let me question his outings though, so I was still kept in the dark.

After about 3 years of bliss, I finally moved into Finnick's house. I mean, I grew to almost live there, having many extra clothes strewn around when we went swimming in the ocean.

We slept in his enormous king-sized bed, seashells lining the sea foam walls and a canopy poured from the ceiling to enclose in safety and warmth.

I loved always sleeping with him. Don't have your heads in the gutter people, I meant _literally_ sleeping with him. His arms around me every night. Always getting to wake up and be met with his beautiful eyes.

I still remember the night I brought up the whole sex issue. See, we hadn't done "it" by that point, and I had figured that maybe we should.

We were lying together, and okay, kissing, when I whispered, "Why can't…" I swallowed. "We go farther… than this, Finnick?"

He pulled away from me, looking a little too startled for my liking.

"Like… sex? You want to?"

"Well, haven't you thought about it?" I said, looking at him with hurt in my eyes at his reaction. Was I that repulsive?

He sighed. "Of course I have, Annie! But…"

I got angry. "It's because I'm… "mentally unstable" isn't it?"

He shook his head and sighed again, trying to bring me closer to his chest, but I refused and pulled away.

"Annie… I just love you so much, okay? I just… I don't want to lose you."

I smiled a little bit and came back into his arms.

"But what does that have to do with it?"

"It has everything to do with it."

And that was the end of that conversation.

So we stayed as we were, beyond happy and blissful, basking in the warmth of each other's love. But, being a victor and well, being me, there was always this nagging in the back of my mind, that no one could stay this happy for this long… without being torn to pieces by anguish later.

Along with being so happy, I was worrying about what awaited me. How long would it take? What could be so terrible that could match the capacity of my happiness now?

Finnick had to mentor the children from District 4 for the many Hunger Games after mine. I was left with the broken person that was forced to prepare children for battle and watch them die.

I watched the 74th Hunger Games on my couch with my mom, on the edge of my seat. The two victors from District Twelve seemed to be an inspiration. To defy the Capitol rules. Something I wanted to do one day.

When Finnick came home we talked about them, and he explained that it was probably just a big show to survive. I didn't blame them. We all have to survive, and why not fake a romance to stay alive? In my heart I hoped that they were in love. I always loved a good love story.

A year went by, and Finnick continued his many visits to the Capitol. They were monthly, and on the same days: the 16th through the 19th of each month, and so I was pleasantly surprised when he stopped going to them for a few months.

I asked him how he did it, but he just said that he asked to stay home, and that was that. I was pleasantly surprised.

Then, the rules for the 75th Hunger Games were announced.

And my life changed forever.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

The 7 living victors from District 4 stood on a platform before all of Panem. It was right across from the stage where the announcer for our district, Dave Tinkleburn was giving his whole spiel on what an honor it would be to win the Hunger Games twice, and how great it was for the victors to have that chance.

I tuned him out, just staring into Finnick's eyes and grasping his hand, hoping to never have to let go. I didn't know what I would do if one of us were forced to go through that nightmare. _Again._

My heart began to beat loudly in my chest when I realized that this could be the torment that could match how happy I was for all of those years. This could be it.

I silently hoped that it would be me who got picked to go. So I wouldn't have to watch the love of my life die on the screen, where I could do nothing about it. I don't know how I could live. I knew it was selfish not to feel empathy for Finnick having to watch me do the same, but he had to live. He had to live and thrive become someone that wouldn't laugh at random things. Who didn't have to live with being "mentally unstable."

When Dave finally finished, he smiled at the victors and reached his hand into the bowl with only three names in it. Finnick's partner and once-mentor Mags. Another strong woman of about 40 years of age. And mine.

"_Annie Cresta._"

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't think.

I felt Finnick's hand grip mine and I saw his lips form my name, but I heard nothing. All I could hear and see was Max's head, falling to the ground, calling out my name in a long and chilling scream.

I felt someone pick me up and try walking away, but something tugged sharply on my arm, almost pulling it out of my socket. My mouth opened in a silent scream of anguish as I witnessed all of the horrors of the Games, the ones that I had both witnessed in reality and in my dreams.

Then suddenly, the strong person holding me brought me back to the rope tugging at my arms, and I slowly opened my eyes. I was greeted by a sea of people, slowly parting in the middle, to make way for a frail old woman walking up to the stage across from us.

Mags.

My heart had a little pang of guilt and empathy, but mostly gratitude to her. She saved me from an almost certain death.

I clutched at Finnick's shirt, staring out at Dave Tinkleburn, praying that he wouldn't say his name. Hoping with all of the might that I could stir up in my veins.

"_Finnick Odair."_

My heart stopped. This could not be happening.

He slowly took of my fingers one by one from his shirt, kissed my forehead and began to walk towards the stage.

I couldn't deal with the sight.

I sat down on the platform with my hands on my ears and my eyes tight shut, rocking back and forth and hoping this was a dream. A nightmare. Anything but reality.

But it was real.

We had three minutes together to speak. Three minutes to mourn with one another. Three minutes to say goodbye.

I ran to him and grasped his hand, my eyes never leaving his beautiful face. He brought me close and whispered my name over and over again until he finally pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine.

"I am going to come home to you, Annie. I will. That's my vow to you."

I was crying, choking on my own tears as I kissed him for one last time before he left me. Maybe forever. We kissed, our tears mixing together in unison until the guards dragged me away.

I kicked and screamed his name, but nothing would make them let me go.

"I love you!" he yelled to me as the doors slammed in my face.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I ran to our house and immediately ran up the stairs to grab one of his shirts from the laundry. It may have been a little bit dirty, but it was the last thing that he wore before he was snatched away from me from the cruel hands of the Capitol.

I brought the shirt up to my face and breathed in the smell of him, trying to memorize it so it could stay in my head forever. He smelt of the musk ocean mixed with sweet boy sweat.

I collapsed on the floor, crying in a heap for a while, and eventually pulling his shirt over my head in hopes that his smell might linger on my skin. I stayed in that position for hours, trying to figure out what I would do, until I heard a knock on the door.

I opened to see many Peacekeepers at my door, and then one of them raised the butt of his gun, and brought it down on my head.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**Well, there ya have it you guys! Finally tying into the books! Woot!**

**So, I did lots of research and I studied, and I think I can make this work! I CANT END THIS STORY. YAY ME.**

**Wow, a lot of feedback, you guys! I love it! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!**

**emmathefart: NOOO! NOT THE MUSHROOM TREATMENT! And they are TOTALLY AND UTTERLY TOGETHER AGAIN! YAY! And I hope this is an okay speed for you!**

**Gleestories11223: Thanks for reviewing! As you can see, I did update!**

**megan holland: I did too That's why I'm writing this, because I really wanted to know more in the book, and so I decided, oh what the hell, why don't I make up my own!**

**StarKid Loves Harry Potter: I sure hope this is soon enough, SO YOU DON'T DIE! Haha thank you soooo much for reviewing! P.s. I love your name. I can't even deal with starkid or Harry Potter, I just love them so freaking much!**

**AnnaMustache: Well, I unfortunately did not see any dolphins, but I did see some turtles and a crap ton of fishies. AND HE DID JUST THAT! HE WALKED IN AND GOT BACK HIS LOVE! WOOT WOOT.**

**And thanks to all who subscribed and favorited this story and me as an author, it means so much!**

**WELL BYE FOR NOW! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH, SO PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR LOVE AND REVVIIEEWWWW!**


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n:**

**HEEYYYYYY. So I'm back, and hopefully I will put this up soon after I post Chapter 14! Yay!**

**Sorry this was so late! But I have a good excuse, I swear! I've been sick for the past week with a concussion AND Walking Pneumonia (I know, it sounds like I'm a zombie… a.k.a. AWESOME). I've been basically bedridden for 7 days. Grossness.**

**So, this will be during the Quarter Quell, and when Annie is imprisoned during Mockingjay. Sorry to say, but there won't be much of Finnick's perspective, since it's kind of obvious his thoughts in the regular books. Maybe for a little bit. I don't know, we shall see.**

**WARNING: I had to look up so many torture devices for this chapter. You all better love me and REVIEW because I am now scarred for life.**

**As you can probably tell, I am the kind of writer that doesn't really plan what happens… when something come to me, I write it!**

**So anyways… ENJOY!**

**Song to listen to during this chapter: "Colorblind" by: Counting Crows**

**Chapter 15**

I opened my eyes screaming from a nightmare to only be met by another one. But this time, I couldn't escape from it by waking up. This was reality.

It had been a month since they took me away from my home, from everything that I have ever known. The Peacekeepers brought me in a hovercraft, and we landed on top of some large building that overlooked all of the Capitol.

We went down an elevator and when we walked out, a completely white room met me with many different machines and switches strewn around it, a big dentist's chair in the middle.

I took a deep breath to scream as I saw all of the individual horrors, knowing in my heart that they were intended for me, but the gag they had put over my mouth squelched any form of sound from me. So I stared in torment until they pulled me out of the room, and into another.

This room was dark and moldy, and must have been three times larger than the room with all of the machinery. I quickly process the slime on the walls, and the scurrying I heard in the corners, until I was pushed into a barred enclosure.

I hit the floor with a thud, and collapsed on the floor, trembling from fear and lack of sleep. I saw the guards glance at me one more time before the door was shut, and I was left in the black with whatever creatures lurked in the shadows.

I did not dare move. I could hear them coming closer to me, sniffing near my head and feet, but I did not move. Not one inch. I couldn't without trying to get out of my cage or having a screaming fit. I knew that neither of those options were reasonable or at all useful.

I would just have to go through this.

After a few hours of me trying to sleep, but having to stay awake from fear of nightmares, a light was lit in the darkness. A television, which I hadn't noticed when I was first pushed into the room, turned on and I saw that the Hunger Games were being broadcasted.

I watched as all of the tributes, and fellow victors, were wheeled on chariots across the long boulevard lined with Capitol citizens. District 1 and 2's costumes were glamorous, as always, and the tributes for District 3 had wires and buttons all over them.

When District 4's victors came into view, my heart stopped in my chest. There he was. My beautiful Finnick.

At first, all I could see his face. His hair was glowing from the lights that they shined down from the ceiling, and his eyes sparkled. I saw the smile on his face, and went back to his eyes. I knew he was not as happy as the façade he was putting on for his disgusting "fans," the women who were known to throw themselves at him.

I glanced at them with a pang of jealousy and hate, because they were so much closer to him than I was. Then, I finally noticed the costume he was wearing, and my face got hot.

He was wearing a fishing net. That was all.

There were strategical knots to cover up… his man parts, but otherwise, it was a free-for-all sneak peek at my boyfriend's entire body. Although I was embarrassed and angry with his dumb stylist, I couldn't take my eyes away. In my heart I knew this was his tactic to stay alive, but I still didn't like the way the girls in the audience screamed his name.

They looked like animals, literally clawing at each other so that they could get closer, and so that maybe he could hear them. I saw him grin and wave to one particularly vicious one, and she collapsed on the ground, almost falling into the stadium.

I had forgotten how much affect he had on women, because I was so focused on the affect he had on me. At least I wasn't that (outwardly) crazy about him. Plus, these women didn't know him at all. I was the only one who did.

I was the only one who could see the fear in his beautiful eyes.

I clutched at the bars of my prison, trying to get closer to the television to make sure that I could hear whatever these people were saying, but of course, the speakers resonated off of the slimy walls.

It was just Caesar Flickerman commenting on the outfits of the victors that were pouring out of the opening in the back of the stadium. I was forced to look away from Finnick and focus on the other victors.

They all weren't very creative, nothing anyone hadn't seen before. None made a lasting impression, until the District 12 victors came onto the screen. They were the ones who had one last year; the couple that no one could forget.

Of course, Finnick had already explained to me that it was all staged: just a tactic for The Games. I pitied them to no end, for they had to live their lives as a lie.

I was mesmerized as they approached the stage at the end of the stadium. They were glowing. They were wearing fire. Not like it was when they were on fire like the year before. This were as if they were the fire, slowing burning. As if it was write after the flames.

How true they were.

Suddenly, the TV clicked off and the door to my cell opened. I was begging for some form of information as to what was going on, but the look on the man's face told me that I shouldn't speak.

He threw two rolls and a small piece of chicken at my feet. I gobbled them up without any other thought in the world but their glorious taste, since I hadn't eaten since they had brought me here.

Then, right when I noticed that he was still standing next to me, he jumped on me and shoved things into my ears. I screamed, but heard nothing as I clawed at my ears, trying to get whatever that was out of my ears. I was deaf.

The Peacekeeper closed my door with a slam, and I was left in absolute silence and darkness.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

They left me sense-deprived for three full days.

It was like my own personal hell. I couldn't see anything, I couldn't hear anything. They didn't bring me any more food. The rats were all gone, so I couldn't feel anything either.

I was left to get lost in my own abyss of nightmares that had been scraping at my brain since the arena. Demons crossed the insides of my eyelids whenever they were shut, and lined the walls of my cage when I opened them.

I could never escape. Not even my mind's vision of Finnick could take me away from my silent terror.

My sense of time was lost. It could have been years before the light finally shone from the television. My eyes blinked from the sudden light and my ears, which could suddenly hear again, barely could adjust to all of the new information that surrounded me.

The interview portion for the 75th Hunger Games had just begun.

And for some reason, my captors wanted me to watch. I was afraid of their motives, but was hungry for new information on my Finnick nonetheless. Once I saw his beautiful face my suspicious thoughts drifted away and he swallowed up my conscious mind.

My mind hadn't conjured up the true essence of his face. It hadn't perfectly caught the way his jaw moved when he clenched it, or when he smiled. It didn't flawlessly portray how beautiful his eyes were, even mixed with the hate and disgust I saw in them as he watched the screaming crowd when he walked up to the stage.

This year Caesar Flickerman was a pasty lavender color. It was repulsive and yet fascinating to look at.

He was his normal self, acting charming and casual, and trying to change each time for what he believed was for the better of each certain tribute. But this year, none of them seemed to have a certain personality. I remember that mine was supposed to come off as "likeable" and yet "ferocious" inside the arena.

All of the victors came off as snarky and rude, making snide remarks at the Capitol and the Hunger Games. They all seemed so bitter, and so determined to make it out alive.

Then, Finnick came up to the stage and he joked around with Caesar for a while, but I knew he was up to something. I noticed the piece of paper clutched in his hand, and new he was either about to do something stupid or something to better flatter the roaring crowd of women.

Caesar noticed the paper too, and so he asked him about it. Finnick grinned and said it was a poem to a very special woman. I saw Finnick wink at the now dead-quiet group of ladies in the very front of the stage, but then he looked at the camera, and I could tell that this poem was for me.

"To: The Most Beautiful Girl In the World. Love, Me."

He took a pause and said, "That's the title."

Every girl in the Capitol were on the edge of their seats, hoping beyond hope that the poem he was about to read was for them. I couldn't help but smirk at their ridiculous faces in triumph.

"_When we met, I didn't know who you were._

_How we fell in love, that's a story that seems a blur._

_All I know is that your hair smells like the sea,_

_And there is no place I would rather be,_

_Than with you._

_Whenever I touch your skin,_

_My heart takes a spin._

_All I know is that your hair smells like the sea,_

_And there is no place I would rather be,_

_Than with you._

_I know this poem seems long,_

_But trust me, for I am never wrong,_

_That no words can express my love for you._

_And all I know is that your hair smells like the sea,_

_And there is no place I would rather be,_

_Than with you."_

By the end I was crying. It was… perfect. It was everything I have ever felt… everything we had ever felt somehow put into words. It was beautiful.

By the time that the District 10 tributes were up, I had memorized it. I had been reciting it in my mind, and out loud, and had successfully memorized it. I felt so proud of myself.

I ignored the rest of the interview, but was mildly curious after the District 12 tribute, the male one, Peeta, had struck up a huge controversy in the audience. But I didn't care so much about him.

When it was all over, the camera, as usual, showed all of the tributes in a line before they were sent into the arena. They were all holding hands. It was defiant. It made a statement against the horrific Hunger Games. The television suddenly cut-off and the door to my cell burst open and three Peacekeepers grabbed me by my wrists and dragged me into the white room with all of the terrible machinery.

They strapped me to the hospital bed, and I had barely time to scream when they put a gag over my mouth to silence me. Then, I was forced to wait until they got orders.

Mr. President Snow himself came down to the room and looked at me for a few moments before giving the men their orders.

"Break her."

I was brought from a wonderful dream into a horrifying nightmare.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

First, they electrocuted me. My hands, feet, and neck were bound to the table, and they poked long, smoking rods onto every visible cavity in my body. They stuck the rods in my ears, up my nose and even in my belly button.

With every shock, they would yell questions asking me about some sort of "rebellion" or some sort of "Mockingjay," but all I could so was convulse from the shocks and scream until my ears popped.

The pain was crueler than anything I had ever felt. With every tremor it seemed to get worse and worse, causing my back to arc and my throat to scream even louder. Black flashes raced across the white walls of the torture chamber, until my whole world became black it self.

I woke up in my cage again, still shaking from the torture of today. I then was aware of the metal shoes that I was now wearing. I moved my feet around and was met with a sharp pain in my heel.

I reached down and felt sharp needles sticking out of the back of the foot and blood oozing out of my new cuts from them. I grimaced and was understood their intentions. If I pass out during torture, I get even more later on.

The television was back on, and I was watching the Hunger Games take place. I wondered how long I was passed out. It couldn't have been for more than one day.

It was midafternoon in the arena, and I noticed that the cameras were not pointed at Finnick, and so I was uninterested. I waited for a bit, and my mind wandered from the TV, and onto my metal shoes, which were barely visible in the dim light.

They were shaped like ballerina shoes, but with long, sharp needles on the end of them. And so, if I were to stand up, it would have to be in my toes as to not lean back on the gross-looking needles.

I shivered at the thought. Either my toes would shatter, or my heels would bleed to death. It would be best to just stay on the floor and hope that they would leave me there. I knew they wouldn't.

To get my mind off of things, I glanced at the television again and was met by my Finnick, holding a trident. He looked extremely fierce, and if I do say so myself, _extremely_ sexy.

He had teamed up with Katniss, Peeta and Mags. Oh, Mags. How I had loved that woman. She was my mentor alongside Finnick. She was very… spunky. Yes, spunky was a good word for her.

I watched them for a while, and see that it is now night for them, and Finnick took the first watch. The camera lingered on his beautiful face for quite some time. I new that the women in the Capitol, and maybe throughout Panem were swooning right now. But all I could see was his pain.

I knew, right then, that he would stop at nothing to get home to me. And with that thought ringing in my mind, I went to sleep with a smile lingering on my lips.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**Oh, what the hell, I'll end it there.**

**Yeah, not much happened here. Well, you might think so, but I was planning for more! Oh, well. There shall be room for more in the next chapter!**

**Wow, a lot of response to my last chapter! THANK YOU ALL! So many people, favorite this story and me, and subscribed! WOW. SO AWESOME!**

**And to reviews! Hey guys? You know what would be awesome? To make it to 60 reviews! LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN! WOOT WOOT.**

**Emmathefart: Thanks for answering my questions guurrrlll. You did help! I still dislike the book, but now I understand it too! Also, I have quite the idea to avoid Finnick's death. Yeah, not to ruin it for y'all, but he doesn't die. I'm not that heartless. Heehee, I guess this one's kind of a cliffhanger? Except not? Whatever.**

**: Wow. Thanks so much! It means a lot to get such a sweet review from a reader. It means so much… seriously. I try to shake things up, ya know? THANK YOU!**

**WAffALes-I-LoVe: Yeah, well. If torture makes you cry, I apologize. Because torture sure made me freak the hell out. I had to look it up. *****Shivers****.***

**heathermarie16: I know, I wished there were more information about their romance too! That's why I wrote this. Well, I guess this was what was happening during the book in my head, so I just wrote it down for the enjoyment of others! Thank you!**

**AnnaMustache: Haha. I made you cry. I regret nothing. I'M SORRY I FORGOT TO TELL YOU! BUT I WILL THIS TIME I SWEAR!**

**GaelicDancingMaiden: Does this count as a cliffhanger? I guess kind of. Honey, I live off of cliffhangers while writing. It keeps 'em guessing :P**

**THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL OF MY WONDERFUL READERS. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! PLEASE REVIEW SO I AM THIS HAPPY AGAIN BECAUSE THESE 6 REVIEWS MADE ME SO HAPPY! AH!**


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n**

**HEY GUYS! LOVED THE FEEDBACK! REVIEWS MAKE ME UPDATE PEOPLE! SERIOUSLY! SO REVIIEWWWWWW**

**I just saw the Hunger Games AGAIN! YAY FOR LIFE!**

**ANYWAYS. SO I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER. It's these chapters that make me really wish that I could make some sort of movie or whatever, because I have such vision.**

**Here it is: It would show Finnick and Annie, Finnick in the arena and Annie in her cage. They are both very sad looking. Finnick would be looking at the moon and Annie would be looking at the small beam of light coming from her door. The song, "Colorblind," by the Counting Crows, from the movie 'Cruel Intentions' (never seen it, but I know this is from the movie), would be playing and it would be amazing.**

**But unfortunately and fortunately at the same time, this is a story. Not a movie. I will try my best y'all, I promise.**

**Also listen to this god damn song people: "Colorblind" by: The Counting Crows. They did a song in Shrek 2, so you automatically have to look it up. Duh. And considering that I have now listened to it, according to my Itunes (not including Youtube), 54 times, you should listen to it as well. PLEASE.**

**Oh! And I was asked the question of who I would want to play Finnick. I did a lot of thinking and I decided Grant Gustin would be amazing. As some of you know, he plays (played?) Sebastian on Glee. He is beautiful and, if he could have dirty blonde hair like Finnick, would be beautiful as Finnick Odair. The end.**

**Also, James Gaisford. Look him up, yo. Also… I have to say Zac Efron. Only because he has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. DID YOU SEE HIM IN CHARLIE ST. CLOUD? HOLY MOTHER OF PICKLES.**

**HERE YA GO Y'ALL, CHAPTER 16!**

Finnick POV:

My heart stopped once I realized whose scream was escaping from the Jabberjay's mouth. I had heard that scream so many times: in her sleep, in the arena. I had seen it in her eyes when she saw me doing those disgusting drugs.

That scream has haunted the edges of my dreams for 5 years.

My nightmares had come to life.

This scream was different then all of the others. This one was even more tortured than the ones that were a result of mental anguish. I could tell immediately that she was being tortured.

My scream matched hers and I collapsed to the ground, knowing that there was nothing I could do to stop it. She was probably already dead. They probably killed her right after they tortured her.

Or maybe she died while they electrocuted her, her hair permanently on its end. Or maybe they just shot her. Or maybe they pulled her limb from limb. Or maybe…

I was pulled out of my disturbing thoughts by Katniss, who was trying to help me up, while also trying to ignore the screams. But I couldn't ignore them like she could.

She was still screaming. More Jabberjays had picked up the sound and had flown closer to me, putting me in more and more torment.

I tried to put my hands over my ears to block the sound, but it just got worse. I hadn't noticed the tears coming out of my eyes until I tasted the salt water and felt them running down my cheeks.

Finally, her name was torn from my mind and to my lips, and I screamed, "ANNIE!" as loud as I could, blindly hoping that she could hear me. Suddenly, the sound stopped.

I slowly looked up and Katniss had picked up my trident and plunged it straight through it's head. The rest scattered away, but nothing could calm me now.

The arena, as it always did, was not just this one. It was all of Panem, and the Games were being played inside and out of our little cage.

I finally stood up, shaking and dislodged the Jabberjay of my trident and kept moving, looking for water. Nothing could rid my mind of Annie now. Nothing.

I just needed to get out to save her.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Annie's POV:

I watched in horror as my screams were projected from the beak of Jabberjay in front of all of Panem, and more importantly, my Finnick. I watched in horror as he convulsed on the ground, crying and screaming my name.

I screamed his name too. "FINNICK PLEASE STOP! I'm okay! Please stop! It's going to be okay!"

I was hoping beyond hope that somehow, he would hear or _know_ what I was saying was true, but he continued to scream until Katniss killed the horrid bird and pulled him off the ground.

I leaned back on my wall in shock, and made a silent pact to never scream again. No matter what they did to me, I would stay silent.

I fell asleep watching Finnick's beautiful face watching the moon in the arena on his night watch. I smiled, knowing he was thinking of me. I knew he knew that I was thinking of him.

I woke up to the sound of the door to my cell opening with a bang and three Peacekeepers with guns pointed at me telling me to get the hell up. I scrambled off of the floor and walked into the white room.

But this time, instead of strapping me to the terrible table, where the day before they had burned small parts of my skin including my eyelids and the tips of my ears, they strapped my hands above my head and forced me to stand.

My face remained passive, but my heart raced. What were they going to do to me?

Then, my hands began to be pulled slowly, higher and higher above my head until I was suspended a couple inches off of the ground. I did not squirm or scream. I just stared into their cold eyes, prepared for more interrogation.

We stayed like that for a while, them assuming I would do something, I assuming the same of them, until one of them came really close to my face, trying to be intimidating. I could smell the stench of alcohol on his breath and I made a disgusted face.

"What do you know?"

His teeth were yellow and disgusting.

"Nothing."

He slapped me across the face and I swayed back and forth a little. The slap was more degrading than harmful. I spit at their feet. I was pulled up higher. My shoulders and hands began to ache. This was going to be a long day.

They continued for two more hours, yelling at me about this "rebellion" and so many other things that I had no idea about. I said nothing as they raised me higher, and sometimes they would suddenly drop me a few inches, making me arms scream in pain.

After two hours of interrogation, they left me hanging there. All alone. Tears began to pour down my cheeks as I could feel small bones in my wrists fracturing, but I didn't dare scream. They couldn't use anymore of my pain on Finnick.

I gasped as my shoulder was torn from its socket. I had to bite my lip until it bled as to not scream to the high heavens. I just had Finnick's face in my mind, knowing that not screaming was helping him. But crying couldn't do anything harmful.

I let the tears fall to the floor until the Peacekeepers finally came back, pressing a button, and sending me to the floor. I was a few feet off the ground at that point and of course, it took me a little bit to get up from the hard floor.

I took many deep breaths and tried to ignore the pain as they began to get impatient.

"GET THE FUCK UP!" one of them yelled, and I noticed it was the same man who had slapped me. He kicked me in the stomach, hard, and I slowly rose from the floor. I tried to concentrate on their faces, but my eyes were unfocused and blurry from my tears.

I didn't dare touch my wrists, which I knew were broken, for it would show them that I was weak.

After a few moments of them just staring at me, they finally shoved me back into my cage. The big one pushed me to the floor, and I landed on my hands. It took all of my strength not to scream in utter agony.

I winced as I popped my shoulder back into its socket, and then sighed with relief. So much better.

I cradled my broken wrists in my lap and watched the television blankly, not understanding or caring what was on the screen. I knew that Finnick was alive, and that was all I truly cared about.

Finnick's POV:

I dreamt of her that night.

Her beautiful laugh, her magnificent hair that always seemed to curl perfectly. Her beautiful green eyes that always sparkled when she smiled.

She was with me. We were on the beach in the arena, the one where Katniss dunked me in the water to try and calm me down.

She looked beautiful, as always, and was wearing a long green dress that cut-off at her ankles. She was barefoot and wearing no make-up whatsoever. Just how I loved her. She was purely… Annie.

She was laughing as I caressed her gorgeous face, trying to memorize every last bit of her. I was unaware of everything else but her. She was here, with me. That's all I cared about.

She leaned down to my ear and whispered, "I love you."

I smiled and murmured, "I love you, too."

She smiled sadly and leaned in my neck, like she always did.

"I miss you, Finnick. Come back to me."

I swallowed and wrapped my arms around her. "I wish I could… I really wish I could."

She suddenly jumped out of my embrace and growled, "You left me, Finnick. Again."

"No, Annie, no! I didn't… I had to go, I had to! I didn't want to leave!"

"But you… you promised never to leave me again! But you did, you did, you did…"

I was crying now, the salty tears running down my face. "No, Annie… I didn't… please! Come back to me, Annie! PLEASE!"

I was desperate now, clawing at her dress, trying to make her sit back down and tell me she loved me, tell me that everything was okay, do anything other than leave, but she turned away from me.

Suddenly, I heard a growl behind me and I turned around to see what it was. Nothing was there, and so I turned back around to Annie, to try and convince her to stay with me.

But I was met by a bloody corpse and a monkey devouring its heart.

I screamed and tried to grasp at my trident, but it wasn't there. I closed my eyes as the monkey lunged for my throat.

I woke up with a start and frantically looked around me, imagining a dead Annie and monkey waiting for me to wake up. But nothing was there. I was alone, with all the others.

_She has to be okay_, I thought.

_Or I don't know what I'll do._

Annie's POV:

I watched in utter shock as the hovercraft came into the arena. There was a flash of lightning, and then the screen went black. I sat in silence, trying to understand what the hell just happened, but nothing came to mind.

I was too numb from today's torture to care. They had put me on a chair made of dull and rusty needles, and had stripped me down to only my underwear. The smiley face on the front was very ironic to the situation.

The needles pricked me everywhere, and since I didn't even bother to speak, they sometimes pushed down on different body parts to make me bleed like hell and cause huge bruises up and down my body.

I curled up into a ball in the darkness and waited for sleep to come.

Soon, they opened the door again. I braced myself for them to come and punish me for my "lack of cooperation" or for another day's interrogation, but instead they were pushing two other yelling people into the other cages that surrounded me.

The two new inmates were yelling and screaming and pushing at the Peacekeepers. I understood that it was no use. If I did any of that, I would get the "Punishing Shoes" again, and my scars were just healing on my feet, thank you very much.

The television was back on, putting light back into the room, and I ignored whatever the hell Caesar Flickerman was talking about to focus on the new prisoners. I recognized them both of course.

They were both victors that were participating in this year's games. One was a woman whose name I recalled being Johanna, and one was Peeta, the one who had been in alliance with Finnick.

I tried to smile at them both, but it was lost in the darkness and probably ended up looking like a grimace anyway. I cleared my throat, and their eyes were on me. I was a little pressured by the sudden attention, but I went with it.

"Hi… I-I'm Annie."

Peeta smiled a little in my direction but Johanna's face remained cold. She was the first to speak.

"Where are we? What are you doing here?"

I shrugged my shoulders, which sent a shooting pain up the one that had been out of its socket and said, "I have no idea."

Johanna sighed and leaned back against the wall and focused on the television. Peeta was still looking at me, and obviously wanted to continue the conversation, even if she wouldn't.

"What do they do to you hear?"

That was the worst thing he could've said. I was pulled into the abyss that was now my mind and all of the tortures that they put me through flashed before my eyes. The Punishing Shoes. The Shocks. Leaving me alone for days on end. The Chair of Rusty Nails.

All the pain and torture I felt again. And again. And again.

I closed my eyes and let myself drift away, into the hallucinations so that I wouldn't scream as a reason to fight them away. No screaming for me.

I woke up to shrieks of torment. I automatically shut my mouth, thinking that it was me. But that didn't end the cries. I looked over to the cell next to mine and saw Peeta, his eyes wide with fear.

After a few moments of just sitting there, listening, I put my hands over my ears, trying to block out the horrible sound. But I could still hear her violent yells. I could also still hear the sloshing of water and the zaps that I was all too familiar with.

My wrists seared from the pressure I was putting on them, but I clutched even harder at the sides of my head, trying to block out the noise. The screams reminded me of the ones that had always resounded in my mind for these past 5 years.

I just wanted everything to stop- for everything to pause. I wanted to sink into my happy moments. They were all with Finnick. I just wanted to close my eyes and lay in his arms again, like I used to.

I just wanted to drift away with him, out to open sea, and never come back again.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Finnick's POV:

"Finnick. She has been captured by the Capitol. We don't know anything else besides that."

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything.

All I could hear was her screams coming from the Jabberjay, echoing around my head in a never-ending display of agony. I knew in my heart she had been taken, but I just didn't want to believe it until now.

I felt like my entire being was slowly melting away, to a point where all I could hear and see and feel was her being tortured or even worse, killed in some terrible way.

I wanted to go through the same thing. I wanted to go through whatever she was, or had gone through, whether it is torture or death. I wanted to be right next to her, wherever she was, and just hold her hand through all the pain.

I closed my eyes, and was washed away by my fantasies of what had happened to my Annie.

I woke up in a hospital room. I could barely process anything besides the fact that I was breathing and that my Annie might not be.

Suddenly, I had an idea. I asked the nurse for a piece of rope, and she slowly complied, with an odd look on her face.

I had always felt calm when knotting, because when I knotted I didn't have to think about anything else. Just the smooth rope underneath my finger tips, and how my hands had to move to knot it in different ways.

When I finally got the string, I immediately set to work, knotting in all of the different ways I knew. It distracted me from Annie for a while. Of course, I would always think about her, but it distracted me from the fact that she might be dead. It helped me to focus on all of our happy moments.

After a few hours of knotting, and my hands were raw and red, I felt tired and decided to go to sleep.

As soon as I closed my eyes, my mind was full of Annie. Unlike in the arena, these were memories. They were of us; us swimming in the ocean, us under the stars. Her falling asleep in my arms. Her beautiful face looking at me with such love, that my heart swelled in happiness.

My dreams were memories I never wanted to wake up from.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**So yeah. As you now understand, I was scarred by the amount of torture I had to look up for this one. You guys do not understand the extent of my scarring, for the things that scarred me where mostly disgusting executions and things that would physically harm her in a way that would not work.**

**Seriously. Most terrifying things ever.**

**Anyways! Thanks for the reviews! ALMOST TO 60 PEOPLE. THAT WOULD MAKE ME SUCH A HAPPY PERSON.**

**I'm still sick. I have been sick for… 10 days now? The only awesome part is that I GET AN ELEVATOR PASSSS. YOU ALL ARE JEALOUS OF MY ELEVATORNESS.**

**And to the reviews:**

AnnaMustache: **Did I scar you more? Feel free to come to me any time if you really want to be scarred. I can show you the "Top 20 worst tortures of all time." *shivers.* You should be curious about Finnick's not-death. I am a genius. Oh, and now I'm in Mockingjay! I kinda skipped over Catching Fire, mostly because 1. I haven't read it in forever and 2. Nothing much happens with Finnick and Annie. The end.**

McSmileys: **AHAHHAAH. "Pee from Delight." I think I'll use that in the future, or possibly even do so. Actually, I do not find Gale so terrible as to kill him. You'll see my plan. I'm pretty proud of it, and can't wait to write it!**

Peenislover: **First of all, I will say that I never thought I would ever get a review from someone named "Peenislover." Congratulations for pleasantly surprising me with your wonderful name. Well, I thought of this because my mind is forever working. Meaning, I stay up late at night and figure out ways to make people fall in love and their back-stories, for I don't have a love life myself! Seems depressing, but… you get the picture. And thanks so much! I'll let you know if I want to write some of my own stories then!**

heathermarie16: **Yep, Finnick SHALL NOT DIE! Thanks so much!**

70thHungerGamesVictor D4: **I am assuming the name "Annie Cresta" was taken, and so you went with the second best thing ;). Haha sorry for being kinda late, I was still sick! I think that's a good excuse, don't you think?**

The Girl From The Seam: **Haha, I do enjoy winky faces as well! They can mean so many things… So many possibilities ;) And thanks so much! I enjoy being creative!**

**And thanks to all who favorite and subscribed! THANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE FEEDBACK. I LOVE YOU ALL!**


	17. Chapter 17

**a/n:**

**SORRY FOR THE LATENESS YOU GUYS! But, as you know, I was so sick two weeks ago, and it has been so terrible trying to make up all of the work that I missed. I mean honestly, next week I have to take 10 tests. I'm serious. 2 tests in every single subject. I'm not excited.**

**On a different note, my English class is reading Romeo and Juliet. BUT SOFT WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER WINDOW BREAKS. Honestly, that line just reminded me of Hannah Montana. Don't judge. BUT SOT WHAT LIGHT THROUGH YONDER BREAKS WIND. LOL.**

**But anyways, I finally had a little time this weekend, and so I am writing again! YAYYY! All right so… yeah. **

**I'm still so sorry for the lateness. BUT YAY! 60 REVIEWS. YAYYY! I LOVE YOU GUYS! PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SO FREAKING HAPPY!**

**Aiming for 75 reviews now… WOOT WOOT.**

**Suggested Song: Iris by: The Goo Goo Dolls**

**All righty! And now for Chapter 17! Huzzah!**

**Chapter 17**

Annie's POV:

His screams reverberated off the walls of my cell. Joanna and my soft sobs echoed after them, creating almost a musical atmosphere. I almost felt sick to my stomach comparing this torture to music, but at this point, it was the only thing I could do without losing myself completely.

I cradled my hands to my chest and absent-mindedly brushed across the skin where my fingernails used to be. They had slowly pulled off 6 out of 10 of my fingernails today, and 7 of Joanna's. She only had one more because she had talked back to them. I had stayed silent.

I had come to terms with the fact that nothing I could do or say would make them stop. Nothing. And so I was silent.

I crawled over to the side of Peeta's cell, looking over at Joanna, trying to think of ways to console her. As soon as I opened my mouth, she shook her head and whispered, "Don't bother. I'm used to being alone and dealing with my own shit."

I nodded and murmured back, "It doesn't mean… y-you have to."

She shook her head again and looked at the ceiling. All I could see was her silhouette from the light coming from the television, but it was enough to see the pain in her face.

"You don't understand, Annie. I have no one. You have Finnick. Someone who loves you and will never leave you. I have no one who will do that. I can't lean on anyone else, or else… you get what I'm saying."

I nodded and leaned back against the wall, not knowing what to say.

"It might not… matter anyway. W-we may never… get out of here."

My own words shocked me. I had never really said them to myself before, but now I knew that I believed them. We had been in there for so long… with every day it seemed even more hopeless that we would never leave.

Joanna made a sound of agreement and leaned back on the wall as well. Peeta's screams had subsided, but they still did not bring him back into his cell, and so we sat in silence until I heard Joanna chuckle softly.

"What's so funny?" I asked in my despair, not imagining anything to be so.

"I can count every single one of my ribs. That has never happened to me before! Wow…" she continued to laugh as she lifted up her shirt and counted.

I lifted up my shirt as well and counted out loud, "1…2…3…" until I reached to 12 on each side, and I started to laugh too. I laughed my heart, not entirely conscious of why and for how long, but I just could not seem to stop, even after Joanna did.

I laughed until Peeta was pushed back into his cell, shivering and crying, and so I immediately stopped, staring at him. He shivered in the corner nearest me and crying silently to himself.

My heart fell in heartbreak as I watched him, knowing that he had endured something neither Joanna nor I had to, and the pity I felt overcame me. So I reached over between the bars of his cage and grabbed his hand.

It was far from romantic, it was more for comfort than anything. I knew that physical touch always seemed to comfort me, no matter who it was from, and so I thought he might benefit from it as well.

At first he was hesitant, but he gripped my hand after the first few seconds. And so, we sat there in silence, waiting for a change, a cry of help, _anything, _but nothing seemed to come.

We sat in our cells for 3 days. Without water, without food, without light. It almost felt like the sensory deprivation they had put me through months before, but it was different, for there were people with me. By the 3rd day, Joanna had reached over and was gripping Peeta's hand as well, just for having knowledge that someone was there.

Sometimes, someone would speak. They would tell about their childhood, the Games, anything to keep sane in the never-ending darkness. I mostly stayed quiet, knowing that if I said anything about any of those things, I would lose myself in the darkness and never find my way back.

And on the 2nd day of this hell, Finnick and I finally came up in the conversation, by, of course, Joanna.

"So, Annie. I'm _dying_ to know. How did you and Finnick come to be? What happened there?"

I smiled, knowing that this was the only thing that I could say without falling into the void.

"Well, he started off as this boy that I could barely remember the name of… You see, we had gone to the same camp…"

It seemed like days before I finished our story. I didn't leave out anything. I told them everything about us. Although I barely knew either of them, I figured that they might as well know my story before we died, since that seemed like quite the possibility at that point.

My words flowed for the first time in so long since I had been there. I didn't pause, stutter or trail off once. Our story was the only thing I was positive of.

When I finished, Peeta asked, "So how long have you guys been together?"

I had to think for that one. "I guess… about 10 years now?"

Joanna sighed. "Damn."

I laughed. "Yep."

That was the only time we talked about love. Joanna had already said how she had absolutely no one, and Katniss was not allowed to be talked about. We had mentioned her name once, and Peeta had freaked out, screaming and writhing about on the floor.

It had taken many calming words and about an hour to get him to calm down, and a silent decision to never speak of her again. I decided that something they had done had broken him, like they had broken me.

On the 3rd day, I began to have hallucinations from the thirst and hunger. I saw Finnick in the room, huddled in the corner, crying with a huge gash in his head. I tried to reach out to him, but Peeta held my hand tight. I struggled and cried to make him let go, but he never did.

Finnick soon disappeared into the darkness, sobbing, making me cry with him.

And then, we finally heard noise from outside of the door. There were yells and the breaking of vials and machines and gunshots sounded in the air. We sat in shocked silence, scared of who was out there. Could it be our saviors? Or people even worse?

There were a few minutes of silent torture, until the door suddenly slammed open, and the light blinded me. I squinted my eyes to be greeted by many people I didn't know. I looked over to Joanna and she was grinning from ear to ear and already trying to get up on her feet, but couldn't because she was so weak.

I didn't even try, because as soon as they began to open my cell, I drifted off into unconsciousness, ready to die or ready to live.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I woke up on a hospital bed on some sort of hovercraft. I could feel the turbulence in the air, which is what had woken me up. All I was wearing was a hospital gown, but it luckily was one of them that covered your entire body, and not just the front of you, so I felt comfortable walking outside of my room.

Apparently, I had been sleeping for a few hours, and was the last to wake up out of everyone. I was the only one still wearing my gown, but even Joanna's smirk at my outfit couldn't phase the smile that had just found it's way onto my face, because there, on the television, was my Finnick.

They had paused it, probably waiting for me to watch it with them. I went straight up to the television, and sat on my knees, right in front of it and gestured for them to turn it on. They did, and he began to speak, and it was the first time I had heard the beautiful sound of his voice in months.

Then I processed his actual words coming from his lips.

"President Snow used to… sell me… my body, that is. I wasn't the only one. If a victor is considered desirable, the president gives them as a reward or allows people to buy them for an exorbitant amount of money. If you refuse, he kills someone you love. So you do it."

Tears came to my eyes as I listened to him, watching every muscle in his face tighten and recoil, knowing how hard this was for him to say all of this out loud. Hell, he couldn't even tell me, and now he was telling all of Panem.

I curled up into a ball on the floor, rocking back and forth, crying, but still managing to listen as he continued talking. He was trying to seem blasé and calm, but I could see how painful this was for him.

It all made sense now. Everything. All of the women, and the time when I brought up the thought of sex. He didn't want to do anything with me because he was already doing so much with all of these terrible women who were forcing him into prostitution and… slavery.

Some may think that this would make me angry, but it only made me love him even more. I held my breath as he continued.

"I wasn't the only one, but I was the most popular. And perhaps the most defenseless, because the people I loved were so defenseless."

That's when I lost it. My silent tears turned to sobs that made my whole body shutter. I closed my eyes and rocked back and forth, sobbing on the ground, not knowing what to do or what to say, just thinking, "_Finnick, I'm sorry."_

I felt large arms wrap around my shaking body and carry me back to my room, plopping me on the bed. I didn't move a muscle, and just continued my sobs. I heard them leave, but then the door open again.

I slowly looked up to see Joanna sitting on my bed next to me. She looked slightly angry, but also looking at me with pity. I took deep breaths and tried to calm down so that I could talk to her.

"I-it's… my fault."

She rolled her eyes and moved closer to me, barely brushing her shoulder against mine.

"Bull shit! It's far from your fault. Now look at me."

I did, right into her eyes, knowing that she was about to say something important.

"You love him, right?" I nodded my head.

"You would do the same thing if you were in that situation, right?" I nodded my head again and started to say, "But… he's not 'defenseless.' I-I am."

"Honey, no. Both of you are defenseless to the Capitol. Scratch that, _were. _You_ were _defenseless to the Capitol. All of us were. But honey, you escaped that hellhole alive; Both the Games and that endless torture. We are fighting back now. We all are far from defenseless from President Snow."

I nodded, wiping away my tears and began feeling a lot better.

"And also, if you were in that situation, would you blame Finnick? Or would you choose to do it because you love him?"

"I would choose to do it because I love him." I was certain that that is what I would do.

Joanna smiled and stood up as if to leave the room. My eyes suddenly grew heavy, and I started to lay back down into the sweet cushions on the bed. But before she could leave, I said, "Hey Joanna? Thanks."

She gave me a small smile and left the room, turning off the light as she left. I smiled in her direction and closed my eyes, Finnick's smiling face meeting me in the backs of my eyelids.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Finnick's POV:

I had just finished telling the story of my… prostitution I guess one would call it, when I heard that the rescue mission was successful. I had the goofiest smile on my face as I ran down to my room to get everything ready.

I had already explained to Coin that Annie and I would be sharing a room, which wasn't all too awkward after I explained the whole nightmare thing. She was reluctant at first, but I convinced her all the same, because it would save space for other people and all that good stuff.

I threw all of the clothes that I had on the floor, the goofy smile still plastered onto my face. Haymitch had assured me that as soon as they arrived, I would be able to see her.

I checked my watch. Only one more hour. I spent it tidying up the room, fluffing up the pillows, making the bed and organizing my stuff in the drawers. I had already gotten some clothes for her and put it on the bottom drawer.

I checked my watch again, and saw that it was one minute after 1800 hours. My chest swelled in my chest with hope and I sprinted out of my room to the elevator, where I frantically pressed the bottom for the hospital wing.

I burst out of the doors and ran down the halls, knowing where to go from what Haymitch told me. I veered a left, and looked down the hallway, knowing that this was the one that Haymitch had told me to go to, and briefly saw him and Katniss standing on the side, but was immediately distracted by the most beautiful voice in the world screaming my name.

I was met by my Annie, running towards me, grinning from ear to ear. I screamed her name too, and ran towards her, colliding with her in the middle and lifting her so that I could look directly into her stunning green eyes that sparkled under the bright lights.

I began kissing her, everywhere, not wanting to miss any part of her. I had missed her so much. It was such a relief to _know_, to _know_ she was okay, and would forever be, because I was NEVER going to let her go. Ever again.

And then suddenly, we were on the floor, and I had finally reached her lips, where we started kissing, not wanting to miss anything and wanting to make up for all of the months we missed.

We stayed like that for awhile, until a nurse tapped my back with her foot telling me that we had to move out of the hallway or we would be the cause of someone's death. I rolled my eyes and grabbed Annie's hand, not caring if she was allowed to leave or not, and directing her toward our room.

She laughed as we went into the elevator and said, "Not even a hello?"

I grinned and kissed her, long and hard, and whispered, "Hello."

Her face turned a beautiful shade of crimson at the kiss and said, "God, I missed that."

I smiled and kissed her again and again, saying one word in between each one. "I. Missed. Every. Part. Of. You."

She leaned into my chest then, and put her head in the crook of my neck, as she always did and whispered, "Me too." I put my hand around her waist and grasped her hand with the other, and we stood like that, in silence, appreciating each other, until we reached my floor.

We walked into the small space, with only a bathroom and bedroom, and I showed her around. Meaning I stood in the middle of the room and pointed to different things. I showed her where her clothes were, and she brought them into the bathroom with her as she took a shower.

I hopped into bed, assuming that either she would fall right asleep or talk to me into the early hours, both of which I was perfectly fine with.

After what seemed like forever, she came out of the bathroom, with extremely tight-fitting clothes, _ahem. _I opened my mouth in astonishment a little, and she blushed and said, "Shut up, they're too small on me." I laughed evilly on the inside, knowing all too well I picked out the shorts and tank top 2 sizes too small for her.

It also helped me to really see how skinny she had become. I could see almost all of her ribs from the tank top and her legs were only bones. In my mind I shivered, being careful not to do so on the outside, thinking of all the horrible things they could've done to her.

She climbed into bed next to me, and immediately put her head on my chest as I put my arm around her. She grabbed my hand and clutched it tightly as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I saw you talking on TV today."

I took a deep breath, wondering what could have been on her mind throughout the whole thing. Would she be upset with me for not telling her? Would she not want to… ya know… with me? My heart pounded inside my chest, and I knew she could hear it.

"I just wanted to say… it made me love you even more. I didn't think that was even possible."

And that's when the tears came. Yep. I will admit it. I cried. My manly persona came down and I was sobbing.

She let go of my hand and reached up to my face, wiping the tears away, and then she let her hand linger on my cheek, stroking the side of my face as I cried. She kissed my lips softly for a moment, and then waited for me to say something.

"You're too good for me," I whispered, pulling her closer.

"I beg to differ," she murmured back, but I immediately kissed her so we wouldn't fight about who was too good for the other.

After awhile of just kissing, she pulled away, which made me pout a little, until I noticed how tired she was. She fell asleep in my arms, but not before telling me how comfortable my chest was, and I went to sleep smiling, for the first time in months.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**D'AAAWWWWWWW.**

**They're adorable. I get so much happier when they're together.**

**And so yes. Finnick cries. As you may have noticed, I'm super into not having gender stereotypes. That's what seriously bothered me about Twilight. Girls can be stronger than boys sometimes Stephanie Meyer, didn't know if you knew that.**

**So anyways, YAY! THEY ARE BACK! WAHOO. **

**And next is they're almost wedding. I think I want to drag this out a little longer and make it their wedding 2 chapters from now. WAAHHOOO. So I think that this is going to be around… 22 chapters long? 25 maybe? We'll have to see. **

**Oh! And while re-reading part of Mockingjay, I realized that I've been spelling Joanna's name wrong (It's actually Johanna in the books). Just saying that I realize the misspelling, I'm just way too lazy to change it all.**

**Reviews!**

**gabytahijar: Haha thank you! I RATHER ENJOYED THE EXCESS AMOUNT OF CURSING, I MUST SAY. Thanks so much! You see, my way of thinking is different from everyone else's because I'm crazy, but have accepted that I am. Boom. Life lesson. Thanks so much! I plan to be an English teacher… but if I write a book, I'll let ya know. And you said pee of laugh instead of pee of laughter. SORRY THAT JUST MADE ME LAUGH REALLY HARD. And hehe. You using Finnicking as a word for Fucking. HEHE. **

**AnnaMustache: I KNOW RIGHT? HIS EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL! And haha. You did join me in the elevator. Wasn't it like a merry go round? No? Maybe that's just me. Yeah, I don't know what the hell I'm saying, I'm bored as hell. And HAHA. 20 WORST TORTURES OF ALL TIME. KIDS, DON'T LOOK IT UP. IT'S SCARRING.**

**Peenislover: That does make more sense, the Katniss-Peeta thing. But still. AHAHAHAA PEENISLOVER. It could go either way. Yeah, the torturing… it creeped me the fuck out, I must say. Haha, thank you. NEVER look it up. You see most of them was of ways to execute someone. Those were the worst. Let's just say the Punishing Shoes were only number 20. Thanks so much for the review!**

**BY Y'ALL. I HOPE TO BE BACK SOON, BUT DON'T YELL AT ME IF I DON'T BECAUSE I HAVE A CRAP TON OF WORK TO MAKE UP. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n**

**Well, I have been so high off of their cuteness that I decided to write another one right away! Wahooo!**

**So anyways! I JUST LOVE THE CUTENESS. I LOVE WRITING THE CUTENESS. You see people, since they had to go through all that other shit without any cuteness, I am thus allowed to pour on as much clichés and fluff as I want.**

**So there.**

**WAHOOOO. **

**Oh! And I just realized that I switched some things around some things. I put the wedding after the awkward lunch scene. But it makes more sense in my head. Whatever. You get the picture.**

**Song: Always Remember Me by: Ry Cuming. This song literally makes me sigh from happiness and being in love. Even though I'm not. Blech.**

**Chapter 18**

Annie's POV:

Everything in District 13 was… set in place. That's a nice phrase to put it as.

Everything was a set time, everything had to be a certain way and no way else. It seriously bothered me. I know I should be thankful for their hospitality and the fact that I was alive because of them, but it still freaked me out a little.

Finnick and I usually blew off our "schedules" anyway. I was still "mentally impaired," and so they let me do whatever I wanted, as long as Finnick was with me. Which was perfectly fine with me.

At first we just hung out on our room, just talking or reading, some part of us always touching. He hadn't let go of my hand since I had gotten back. I loved it, because it was a constant reminder of how safe I was with him, and how alive I truly was.

The only time we really left our room was for meals, and even that was annoying. Luckily, they gave me a lot of food, considering all of the weight I had lost. It had started off as very little amount of food, but each day the portions got larger until I was getting twice as much food as Finnick was.

He was so jealous of me, and so I would always sneak him a piece when someone wasn't looking.

Although we spent almost every waking moment together, sometimes he had to leave me for business with the Capitol and the Rebellion and all that jazz.

He had finally explained to me about what was going on. Everyone in District 13 was either refugees from District 12, and some of the surrounding Districts or fighters in the Rebellion against the Capitol.

He explained to me about Katniss, and about Peeta, who was in love her until the Capitol changed his memories around to thinking that she wanted to kill him.

That would explain everything.

I pitied them both, but couldn't focus on the too much because whenever I did, I would hear Peeta's heart wrenching screams, and I would want to scream with him.

I did like Katniss though. I had met her a few times, and she seemed really nice but also strong. I decided to like her, since Finnick seemed to have a nice friendship with the girl.

Johanna and I talked a lot at lunch, and when I would actually went to some of my activities that they always stained my arm with. She was very funny, but in a crude way that I liked. She always seemed to joke about me being annoying to her when we would talk, but I could tell she enjoyed my company.

Then, when it was confirmed that outside it was absolutely beautiful out, Finnick and I got permission to take walks in the forest so that it could "clear my head." And it did. The air was moist and refreshing, and the trees shimmered in the afternoon light.

We walked hand in hand until we reached a rock that overlooked a deep valley. We would stay there until sunset.

It was beautiful.

At night, when he thought I was asleep, I would listen to him whisper all the things he loved about me into my ear. The list seemed to go on and on. When he did that, I made him a list in my head as well.

The days seemed to fly by, even though I had only been there for about a week or so. I was just so happy with him. I never wanted anything to change.

And then it did.

It was the day that Peeta had finally made his way out of the mental ward, and into the world of District Thirteen. He was at lunch, and I smiled at him, glad to see him a little bit better.

Johanna sat with him, and I sat down next to her, with Finnick at my other side, holding my hand as usual. Johanna and my portions were a fair bit bigger than Finnick's and Katniss', and so I slipped him a piece of my toast and Johanna threw Katniss a wad of mashed potatoes which landed right on top of his small piece of toast.

She glared at her and scraped the white pieces off her bread as Johanna laughed at her in triumph. Then, Peeta came up to the table, and I assumed that he would go crazy, as he did in his cell, but he just stared at her coldly. It was improvement, but my heart fell when I saw Katniss' face.

I squeezed Finnick's hand, so grateful that nothing like that happened to us. He squeezed my hand back, agreeing with me.

Johanna invited him to sit down, but Peeta said, "I'm not quite trustworthy yet."

I shook my head and smiled at him as Johanna said, "We're old friends. Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the Capitol. We're very familiar to each other's screams."

As soon as she said that, I heard the screams surround me, hers and his, but especially the ones that I wouldn't allow myself to make, but heard in my head all the same. I tried to block out the noise with my hands, covering my ears and trying to get out of the vortex, but I was slowly being pulled in.

But then I felt Finnick's strong arms encircle me and he whispers comforting words to me until I can't hear the screaming anymore, just his soft voice telling me how much he loves me and that nothing is there that can hurt me.

I opened my eyes and saw that everyone was kind of awkwardly trying to ignore my freak out and I blushed, putting my shoulder on Finnick's for comfort. He pulled me closer for a moment and then stood up, grabbing our trays in one hand and holding mine in the other.

"If we're going to fit in that walk, we better go," he said, and began to walk away but stopped when he heard Peeta call after them, "You be nice to her, Finnick. Or I might try and take her away from you."

My eyes creased and I blushed an even deeper shade of red, remembering me holding his hand in the Capitol. Why the hell would he say that? It was rude and frankly, really discomforting to me. Way too far.

Finnick's face turned cold and he didn't turn around when he replied, "Oh, Peeta. Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart."

"Nice comeback," I whispered in his ear, slightly smiling at his retort.

He grinned back at me, and we walked out of District Thirteen and into the open air. It was just before sunset, the sky golden and rich. I grinned and broke apart from his hands, ignoring his pout, and running into the forest path, dancing in the golden beams that shined through the leaves.

I felt free.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Finnick's POV:

I grinned as I watched her dance in the sunbeams, them making her glow in the light. She had her eyes closed and I had never seen her so utterly happy in my entire life.

I watched her until I could not stand being away from her for another minute, and so I ran up to her and picked her up into the air so that I could stare into those green eyes forever. Get lost in them and never have to come back to reality.

She giggled when I picked her up and I laughed too; spinning her around in the light, just complete bliss.

When we stopped, I didn't let her go. I just leaned in, looking straight into her eyes, and whispered, "I love you, Annie Cresta."

That was the truest thing I had ever said in my entire life.

She smiled and whispered back, "And I love you, Finnick Odair."

And then I leaned in and kissed, trying to tell her through my lips what exactly I was feeling in that moment. Her arms slowly wrapped around my neck, and before I knew it, we were on the forest floor, surrounded by crispy autumn leaves and the sunbeams projecting from the sunset above our heads.

I pulled back and just stared at her face. I had never seen anything more beautiful.

And then, I knew what I had to do, right then and there.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I watched him closely as he moved from on top of me. We had fallen on a pile of leaves, and I was rather enjoying the moment, so I wondered why he didn't seem to be. I sat up with him and inched closer, nudging his shoulder and raising my eyebrow in questioning.

He turned to me and smiled, raising his hand to my cheek, stroking it and just staring into my eyes. I grabbed his hand and nuzzled into it, content with the comfort and cute gesture.

Then, he pulled away and took a deep breath, standing up and pulling me up after him. The sun was almost fading now, and I figured he wanted to get back before it got too dark outside, but instead he stood where he was, feet in place.

We stood across from each other, hands entwined and eyes gazing into the others. I could almost hear his heart beating in his chest, and wondered why.

He then spoke. "Annie I just… I love you so much, okay? I mean… it's ridiculous, hoe much I love you. Ridiculous. No one would ever guess that I could hold that much… love in my heart, but I do, and even more than you can guess. You saved me, Annie. You keep me sane. You keep me alive. You are the only one who gets to see who I actually am, and so you keep me… me.

"And Annie, I want to grow old with you. I want to see every milestone in someone's life, with you by my side. I want you to be there when we first see our kid catch his first fish. I want to be there when you find the first grey hair, and console you when there becomes many more. I want to be able to sit on the front porch of our little house by the ocean, and just watch the shimmers on the water, like we always do. I want to be holding your hand when I leave this world, and you right along with me. I want forever with you, Annie. And even if forever ends tomorrow, it will be enough. Because I spent my last days with you."

I reached up to stroke his slightly blushing face, and softly brushed his lips with mine, not knowing what to say. I hoped that my gesture summed up how I felt after his little speech:

That I loved him beyond words.

He smiled at me, touching my cheek for a moment as well, and then, got down on one knee.

My world spun, and my heart seemed to stop in its chest. It was finally happening. After 10 whole years of promising to marry each other, it was going to happen. It was almost overwhelming, but in a wonderfully amazing way.

I covered my mouth to try and suppress my gasp, and let the tears roll down my cheeks from happiness.

He grinned at my response and said, "Annie Cresta, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?"

He pulled out a ring out of his coat pocket.

It was silver and thin and had a tiny pink daisy in the middle, with two smaller white daisies on the sides of it. I remembered the daisy ring he had made for me when we first decided we were going to get married.

I broke down and nodded through my tears, whispering, "Yes," over and over again as he quickly put the ring on my finger. Then, I almost jumped on him and we were back on the forest floor, kissing, with me still whispering, "yes!" in between them. I felt him laugh beneath my constant kisses, but I just kept kissing him until we were full on making out.

It was very heated. I won't give you the details.

Once we finished, I was out of breath, partially from the endless amount of kissing, but also because it was all so overwhelming. And so amazing. I could barely handle myself.

We walked back slowly, not wanting to leave and get back to reality. When we walked in, it was almost curfew, and we had to run to our room to get there in time. As we ran, I wondered how this was going to happen.

Where would it be? Who would plan it? What would I wear?

The questions bombarded my mind as we ran to our room. When we got there, I immediately changed into my (too small) pajamas, not really caring at that point if he saw anything, since he was (ah!) my fiancé.

I dove into the covers and looked up to see him looking at me in amusement and shock at my sudden stripping and hyperness. He laughed and took off his shirt to put on his pajama one and took off his jeans so that he could wear his boxers to bed. I couldn't help noticing how absolutely gorgeous his body was.

Whoa.

He laughed at my stare and jumped into bed with me, and immediately putting his arms around me as usual. I snuggled up against him and closed my eyes, but of course, not ready to go to sleep just yet.

He laughed into my hair suddenly, and I looked up at him with a confused look. "What?"

"That was quite the strip tease you did just there."

My face burned and I just replied, "Well, I figure that if we're gonna get married, you probably will be seeing that a bit more."

He laughed again, pulling me closer to him and I laughed too, until we trailed off and I finally got to the question I was dying to ask him.

"So… do you think… um… that we'll have a _real_ honeymoon? Like all the stuff that's supposed to come with it?" I blushed, feeling a bit more than embarrassed by my question, but I was still curious all the same.

He kissed the top of my head. "Of course, Annie. How could I deny that chance when I just got a sneak peak a couple minutes ago?"

I blushed an even deeper shade of red and said, "I just don't want to push you or anything…"

He shook his head and turned my head to look at him. "Annie, I just wanted… I just want our first time to be special. And I think- no, I _know_ that after our wedding it will."

I beamed at him and kissed his nose, then lying back down on his chest. His hand that was around my shoulder travelled up and down my arm, which calmed me to no end, and made me fall asleep in an instant.

My dreams were full of daisies, sunsets and beautiful blue eyes that looked like the ocean on a summer day.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**CUTENESS. FOR THE WIN. Ahhhhhhh.**

**Okay, so, I have to say this. I, personally, am not a nazi about not having sex before marriage. I believe that if someone is IN LOVE, and very careful, they can go do whatever the hell they want. But I felt that since Finnick was sexually abused, yes that would be the term for a sex slave, than he would want to wait until marriage to make it special and all. **

**So that was my thinking.**

**All righty! And now to the reviews! HEY PEOPLE. SEE HOW FAST THAT WAS? YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. REVIEW!**

**GoldenSmileeeee: Wow. I would just like to say. This is me not being sarcastic at all. Congratulations on being the shortest review I have ever received. I mean that. I literally laughed out loud. For all wondering this person's review was "hahahah it is good." 4 words. And it still made me happy! See people? REVIEW! But seriously. Thanks!**

**AnnaMustache: I cried too! THE CUTENESS. And oh my god, luckily I was up in my room writing or else my family would have been, is she texting her boyfriend or something…? Because it was that kind of goofy smile. AND HAHA. BLADDER PROBLEMS. YOU'RE GONNA GET A URINARAY TRACT INFECTION BECAUSE OF ME. And yes, I spelled her name right this time! Yay for me. And see? Totally awkward lunch scene. I know it's in the wrong order, but it wouldn't have really mattered after their wedding. I know what I'm gonna do! YAY!**

**Xx-freedom-wish-xX: I will admit, I did have to read, "Princess Russian Potato," a few times, because I was a bit shocked as to the potato part. Don't worry, it still made me die from laughter. Haha I love the made up words! It made me feel even more phantasmagorical. I THINK THAT I PUT A CRAP TON OF FLUFFINESS AND CUTENESS. WAHOO. Thanks so much for the review!**

**Gabytahijar: Honey, I fucking congratulate you on your English skills. I swear, I have been studying Spanish for 7 years and I can barely saw that I like cats. Okay, that's a bit of a stretch, but I will say that I am absolutely terrible and would sound even worse. IS THIS A SHORT ENOUGH TIME FOR YOU? I do take my time BECAUSE I WAS SICK, MISSY! Hahaha. Thanks for the review!**

**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! IT MAKES ME UPDATE FASTER, SERIOUSLY!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys!**

**So here I am. I haven't begun to start writing it yet (because I always do these author's notes first), but I think it is going to take awhile, because although I know exactly what I'm doing, I know what I am going to do for the next chapter or the one after it.**

**I want this one to be perfect, but I really want to write the next one soooo bad… anyways. HOPE YOU ENJOY!**

**WEDDINGS ARE ADORABLE.**

Chapter 19

Annie's POV:

For the next week, I was in a haze of happiness. Every five minutes or so I made a point to finger the engagement ring on my finger, and so Finnick always made a point to never let go of my right hand.

Every morning it seemed like my smile got wider as we approached the wedding date, which was set for an exact week after he asked me.

Katniss brought me back to her home so I could borrow a dress for the occasion. The ride over began a little awkwardly, but I tried to make conversation from the words that I could muster. I didn't do well without Finnick by my side.

He had had to stay so he could talk to Coin and Plutarch about the Rebellion. They would invite me to the meetings, but I wasn't very interested. Not that the Rebellion didn't interest me, I just new that Finnick would update me later, in less boring terms.

Katniss didn't seem to mind my stutters and tendency to trail off at random parts in a sentence. I figured Finnick had told her how hard I have to work to stay in reality.

She seemed very hard-faced though. Very nice, but had obviously gone through her fair share of struggles. I saw it in her face every time she looked at Peeta. I hoped she understood that he hurt as much as she did; he just had to deal with it in a different way.

Her Victor's house looked exactly like mine, and it made my heart drop a little in my chest, thinking of home. Especially when we went into the kitchen, and I imagined seeing my mother making me one of her marvelous dinners. I breathed through my nose and could almost smell the fish that were cooking on the stove.

I closed my eyes for a moment, and then realized how crazy I must have been, and tried to pull away. It took me a moment, but I eventually made it up to her room.

I picked out a simple, pale yellow dress that fit to my curves but wasn't as sexy as some of the others were. It was sleeveless, and the neckline curved downwards, but not too low. It was fitted up to my waist, and then was draped around the rest of my body, reaching down to the floor.

Katniss' beauty team helped it to fit me better, and when they finished, I looked in the mirror and beamed. This wedding was going to be perfect.

When I got home I wouldn't let Finnick see it until the wedding.

He pouted. "But I wanna seeee iittttt."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you really think that whining is going to help?"

He sighed for a moment, but an evil grin slowly spread across his face. "But I think this might."

Then he pulled me into a very heated kiss, which lasted _quite_ a bit. Eventually, I pulled away laughing and said, "Nice try. But you're still not seeing it."

I wanted to keep one tradition alive, if I couldn't do the rest. I couldn't walk down the aisle with my father, since I didn't have one. We couldn't exactly pour sea water on each other, a District 4 custom, since we weren't near the sea at all or outside.

Plus, he wouldn't have to wait long. The next day, we were to get married.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

I could barely breathe my heart was racing so fast.

I got ready in our room, kicking Finnick out so he wouldn't see me until I walked down the isle. I was determined to keep that marriage tradition sacred as well.

Johanna, and Katniss' beauty team, whose names I grew to know as Flavius, Octavia and Venia, helped me get in my dress and do my hair. Much to their dismay, I made sure to tell the beauticians that I didn't want to wear make-up; Finnick told me he never wanted to see any form of make-up on anyone ever again when the Capitol is overthrown.

Joanna was quiet when I was surrounded by the beauticians, but when they left for the ceremony, she started to talk to me. I loved her company.

"Remember, don't trip, got it? We don't need your crazy ass broken physically too."

I rolled my eyes. The teasing didn't bother me. I knew she was joking, and her severity was just something I had gotten used to over the past months. She had gotten used to my crazy, I had gotten used to her harshness. And thus, our friendship was born.

Then, suddenly, she hugged me. Just like that. It was one of the most awkward hugs I have ever received, but it was nice nonetheless. It made me miss my mom's hugs.

When we pulled away, she looked at me sternly and said, "Now, don't tell _anyone_ I hugged you. I got to keep my reputation around here."

I laughed and gave her a mock salute, but my face darkened at the thought of my mother. I missed her, more than words could say. I hadn't really expressed how sad I was that she wasn't here because I was just so happy with Finnick. I didn't want to kill the mood.

But I finally broke down in Joanna's arms, crying silently into her shoulder. She caught me, and held me up, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Annie, what is wrong with you? You're getting married today! This should be the happiest day of your god damn life!"

I nodded, trying to muster up words that simply did not come for a while, since I had been trying to push them away for so long.

"I just… I m-miss my mommy."

I sobbed again, covering up my mouth to try and hide the sound. I sat on the bed, and she sat next to me, awkwardly putting her arm around me as a form of comfort.

"Honey. It's going to be okay. She's okay. You're okay. Everything's okay. Got it? Just be happy for that."

I nodded, trying to bring myself together. She wiped the tears from under my eyes and smiled a small smile.

"Thank God you're not wearing make-up, or this could have been such a mess."

I laughed for a long time as she tugged my arm to get me standing. I kept laughing until I could get a handle on myself, something that everyone seemed to be used to by now, and she dragged me out the door to my wedding.

It all happened so fast. And yet, looking back, it all seems to be in slow motion.

Johanna immediately ran to her seat. I didn't have any bridesmaids or any of that, because there was no one I really wanted to single out. It would be too cliché and awkward for me, and for Finnick for that matter. This was about us and not to sound selfish, we wanted no one else to be a part of it.

Plutarch had planned most of it, winning many of his arguments with Coin on how big it should be. She wanted it to be simple, but since it was to be televised, Plutarch convinced her against being too simple. A year ago, I probably would have liked to plan it, but right now I didn't care how it happened. I just wanted to get married to the love of my life.

It was simple enough for Coin, but extravagant enough for Plutarch. There were flowers hanging from an archway that I was supposed to walk through when the music started, and daisies created the aisle, lining the sides so the path was clear. Petals were strewn on the floor, as far as the eye could see.

Everyone who I had met, and some who I hadn't, were sitting in the chairs. Other people who just wanted to watch this unusual occasion stood on the sides.

I observed all of this as I hurried to the archway, trying not to let them see me until the music started. Luckily, everyone's attention was else where, because Finnick had just walked in and stood in his spot.

As soon as I got into mine, I almost collapsed from shock. There, standing right in front of me, was my mother. The woman who had been there through _everything_, even more than Finnick had. I had never gotten the chance to say thank you, one of the things that I had regretted most when we were separated.

I ran into her waiting arms and stayed there for what seemed like days, never wanting to let go. I felt her tears on my hair and my own made her dress wet. We didn't say anything: we didn't need to. After a while, she gripped my face and brought it up so we were looking at each other.

"How…?" I began, but she cut me off.

"I'll explain later. But first, you have to get married."

I nodded, smiled at her and whispered, "I missed you so much."

She wiped away my tears and said back, "I missed you too." I hugged her quickly once more, and we faced the aisle as soon as the music started and everyone turned towards us.

Luckily, it was dark underneath the archway, so he didn't see us until we stepped out.

As soon as we saw each other, our eyes were glued to other pair. My heart pounded as I looked deep into his sapphire eyes, and I was swept away by the ocean in them. It took all of the remaining pieces of my mind not to get lost in the sea of his eyes and keep walking to the music.

It was in that moment that I felt completely and utterly free from the demons that plagued me everyday. I thought of nothing else, but him.

Afterwards I was told that his face was as astonished and as happy as mine. I couldn't tell. Johanna called them, "The dumbest expressions I have ever seen in my entire life. So you have to know that it was fucking beautiful for everyone else."

I gripped my mother's hand tightly and she soothingly caressed mine with her thumb, and when we got to him, she placed mine in his hand. His eyes were gleaming, and I finally saw at the entirety of his face.

His smile was the biggest I had ever seen and his hair managed to gleam, even in the low lighting. I looked into his eyes again, and I saw the tears that were beginning to form. They made me laugh a little to myself.

We walked up to Coin, who was to perform the ceremony. She said some of the basic things you say at weddings, you know, the whole deal, and I nodded when I needed to, not being able to speak through my tears.

When Finnick was asked, he just stared at me and whispered, "I do."

"You may kiss the bride."

He reached down to my face, caressing it for a moment before leaning down and giving me a sweet kiss on the lips. It was just for a moment, but it was so perfect that it was enough to sweep me off my feet.

We turned towards our friends and family, and I saw my mother was crying almost as much as I was. She ran up to Finnick and I, and embraced us both in a huge hug, something I had missed for so long. Finnick kissed her cheek and told her how glad he was that she was here. Later, he explained to me that he had known how I missing her, so he had Coin bring her to District Thirteen.

Immediately all of the chairs were removed, and a dance floor was made. The first dance was slotted for the newlyweds. I had made sure to at least tell them what song it had to be. Luckily, some people knew the song and were able to perform it for us.

Finnick pulled me gently to the dance floor, and we began to dance. The song was called, "Til Kingdom Come," a song that was perfect for us.

_Steal my heart and hold my tongue._

_I feel my time, my time has come._

_Let me in, unlock the door._

_I've never felt this way before._

_The wheels just keep on turning,_

_The drummer begins to drum,_

_I don't know which way I'm going,_

_I don't know which way I've come._

_Hold my head inside your hands,_

_I need someone who understands._

_I need someone, someone who hears,_

_For you, I've waited all these years._

_For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come._

_Until my day, my day is done._

_And say you'll come, and set me free,_

_Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._

We twirled and swayed to the music, not caring about anything else but each other. I ignored all of the sighs, all of the coughing, all of the cameras. I just stared at my husband, smiling and listening to the music.

_In your tears and in your blood,_

_In your fire and in your flood,_

_I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,_

_"I wouldn't change a single thing."_

_The wheels just keep on turning,_

_The drummers begin to drum,_

_I don't know which way I'm going,_

_I don't know what I've become._

_For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,_

_Until my days, my days are done._

_Say you'll come and set me free,_

_Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._

As the song began to end, I was singing along. He laughed at me as I sang, and as soon as it stopped, he leaned down and kissed me.

_Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._

_Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me._

The song trailed off as we kissed, and I heard Johanna cat-calling in the background, but I didn't care. It was just me and him in that moment. Just us and the music.

Then, many of the children came together and sang a traditional song from our district. Everyone joined in to dance to the festive music, and Finnick and I laughed and sang along. It reminded me of home.

It was quite the celebration. For one dance, Finnick danced with my mother and I danced with Beetee. It was… interesting. Beetee may have been wonderful with technology, but not so much with dancing.

The cake was marvelous. It had flowers all along the sides, daisies mostly (word had definitely got around as to their significance) and it was about 3 feet high. A _very _extravagant gift. I thanked Peeta for it afterwards.

He had mostly just stayed to the side, ignoring any remarks from anyone, and only smiled at me when I thanked him. I noticed him watching Katniss, and I didn't just see anger and hatred as I usually did. I saw regret in his sullen eyes as well.

The same regret that I always saw in Katniss' when she looked at him. Even when her and Gale were dancing, I saw her watching him. I couldn't tell all the emotions in them, but I saw her love and sadness when she saw him in shackles. My heart went out to her. I knew what it was like to know that the one you love leaves you, and you can't fix it.

But as Finnick did, I knew Peeta would come back to her. He was that kind of guy.

After the cutting and consumption of the cake, the party began to calm down, since it was getting late and close to curfew. We walked back hand in hand, smiling and laughing about how Plutarch had thrown a fit when Coin told everyone to go home at curfew. He could be so ridiculous sometimes.

We walked in, and that was when I started to get a little nervous. I mean, this was our honeymoon. It was happening. Right at that moment. Holy [insert curse word here].

We stood there kind of awkwardly for a moment until I kissed him on the cheek and said, "I'm… going to… take a shower." Being nervous, I trailed off a little. He nodded solemnly and jumped onto the bed, lying across the whole thing. I rolled my eyes and laughed at him, going into the bathroom.

I let the shower do as much cleaning as it could. The buttons kind of confused me, but I eventually found the one that said, "Complete Clean." I just stood in the middle as it gave me automatically all the soaps that I needed to clean myself thoroughly, some that stung and some that soothed the stinging, and some for my hair and some for my body.

It must have taken a whole half an hour, by far my longest shower ever taken. When I walked out, my hair was already dried and wavy, as it usually was. I brushed my teeth really fast, and tried to consider what I would wear. I decided to just put back on the wedding dress, since it was so comfortable, trying to ignore the fact that it would be off maybe in just a few minutes. I took a deep breath and stepped out.

Finnick was still in his tuxedo, just without his tie and jacket on. He was sitting on a bench (which I hadn't noticed when we first walked in) on the side of the room that was usually bare. I moved towards him and my eyes opened wide when I saw what was just beyond the bench.

A small piano. Well, it was more like the keys of the piano spread across the table, but I could tell just by looking at it that it would sound exactly like my grand piano back at home.

I put my hand over my mouth, and looked into his smiling face, waiting for an explanation.

"I had Beetee put this together for you. It should sound just like your piano back at home. I thought you might enjoy it."

I nodded my head and sat down next to him, resting my hands on the keys. It had that new kind of feeling, but I knew that eventually I would wear them down to be like the one that I had at home.

He leaned towards me and whispered, "Play something for me."

I smiled and knew immediately the song I wanted to sing and play. I kind of made up the piano part as I went, because it was normally done by a guitar, but I got the gist of it. I had had the lyrics memorized, since it was one of my favorite love songs. I changed them around a bit, just so I would get the correct color of his eyes.

_I climbed this hill watching so still_

_I took to the fears of all I held dear_

_But up on this height, a majestic sight_

_Flooded the skies_

_And how I could feel you near_

_Oh I could sail the world_

_Search through the darkest waters but_

_I'd never find_

_These sapphire eyes_

_I held the stars to light where you are_

_When your unfeigned heart called to me through the dark_

_Soaked in the sound that rose from the ground_

_There I could feel_

_I felt, I felt you near_

_Oh I could sail the world_

_Search through the darkest waters but_

_I'd never find_

_These sapphire eyes_

_Oh I'd wait for the seas to part_

_To be with you_

As I finished the last chord, I turned towards him and smiled. I was met but his deep gaze and he pulled me to him, kissing me softly. I kissed him back, smiling into his lips.

The bed creaked as we moved onto it, the pillows cushioning my head and neck. My eyes were closed as we kissed, until he pulled it apart.

I was concerned for a moment and so I said, "Are you okay? Because we can stop…"

He shook his head and smiled. "I love you with all of my heart, Mrs. Annie Odair."

I smiled up at him. "I love you too."

Lips touched lips, hands touched skin.

And we were one.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**YES. YES. YES. I AM CRYING. I AM SO HAPPY. YAY. FINALLY. **

**So yes. SEX SCENEEEEE. Yeah, I was uncomfortable writing an ACTUAL sex scene (ESPECIALLY because people I know are reading this, including my 12 year old sister. Way too inappropriate).**

**The two songs in this chapter were: "Til Kingdom Come" by" Coldplay (the namesake of this story!) and "To Be With You" by: The Honey Trees. Totally adorable.**

**So anyways. I love writing weddings. It makes me want to plan my own (which I already have- I will be barefoot and outside somewhere and wearing something simple and there will be purple somewhere in there. Boom.).**

**Also, I have decided that if Chris Pine had longer hair, he could totally work Finnick Odair. Haven't decided about Annie. Either Alexis Bledel (just for the sake that she has wavy brown hair and that she was in Gilmore Girls, my favorite show of all time) or someone that nobody's heard of because I can't think of anyone famous.**

**Okay so reviews! Thanks so much you guys! 70 REVIEWS! My secret wish to reach 100. I mean, even 90 would make me beyond happy, 80 too! But 100… wow. I might just throw a party.**

**Reviews:**

**Gabytahijar: I think 9 days for an update is pretty good timing, don't you think? Especially for this important one. Well… I did get sick again. I got a super bad cold. But it didn't delay this update, it even helped because I stayed home from school today and managed to watch Jurassic Park and write this chapter! So yay for life. YOU ARE FINNICKING AMAZING FOR REVIEWING, MY DEAR!**

**Peenislover: How is this for cute? I LOVE WEDDINGS! AANNDD YAY FOR SEX! Haha, thanks for agreeing with me. And thanks so much! I believe that I can live with the fact that I am "the best fan fiction**

**author ever." Thanks so much You don't know how much that means to me!**

**AnnaMustache: HAHA. You messed up you're reviewingness. Well I already told you that he's not going to die! OR AM I. Yeah, I might. Because I want to end it at 20 chapters. But maybe I'm just leaving you with suspense. OR WILL I KILL HIM. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT! Yeah, goofy smiles are just widespread throughout this whole fanfiction, aren't they? SO MANY EMOTIONS NOW THAT I LEAVE YOU WITH THE FACT THAT HE MIGHT DIE. MWUAHAHAHAHA. I think this is the right amount of time between them, don't you think?**

**The Girl From The Seam: I take pride in the fact that sometimes, but very rarely, I make a joke and someone laughs. It's a good moment, ya know? But then I go back to making a joke, and then having that awkward silence… anyways. And I DID put a little Peeta and Katniss in there for you. I mean, I figure that there can't be TOO much because you have plenty of that in the actual book, and here I was focusing on their story, but I think it is good to have a little of them in there too! Tell me what ya think! But I must say that their couple name Peeniss is a little more than unfortunate, don't you think? I just can't help laughing every time… WINKY FACE. **

**Oh and AnnaMustache: Just like to point out that you ruined the 69 reviews with that review. But I would also like to say that I wish to have that screenshot so that I can treasure that fact forever.**

**YAY FOR REVIEWS! THEY MAKE ME UPDATE!**

**The next one is going to be sad, because Finnick leaves **

**But I have a thousand and two songs to listen to, so I think I'll get the mood right. And question, do any of you actually listen to the songs that I put in the chapters? Anyone? **

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

**I would also just like to point out that this was one of the longest chapters I have ever written. You're welcome Also- if you look up "simple wedding dress" on google images, the one I imagined would be the second one that comes up. In pale yellow..**


	20. Chapter 20

**a/n:**

**Hey Guys. So… not much response? Only two reviews! What's with that? PLEASE REVIEW. IF YOU WANT FINNICK TO LIVE.**

**So yeah, I know I told you guys that I would make him live, but I don't know… lack of reviews makes me want to kill him and make it all sad because I'm sad!**

**Yeah, I know, I think that writers begging for reviews are petty too, but now I understand what they want! They want moral support to move on with the story! So come on people! Review!**

**And now! To Finnick's departure. So yeah, I was THINKING of determining Finnick's life or death in this chapter… but then I decided that I want to play it out a little more so I can give myself time to write it. So REVIEW IF YOU WANT TO KNOW.**

**Because I sure want to write it.**

**Also. I reference The Princess Bride in this. Tell me if you catch it! It's my favorite movie **

**Chapter 20**

After our wedding, I was in a haze of pure happiness. I never thought that I could be even happier than before our wedding, but boy, was I wrong. That love was like a raindrop compared to the sea after a storm.

Now that we were married, surprisingly our time was spent more apart than ever. Finnick was dragged off to training and meetings with Coin a lot, some I went to but mostly didn't feel completely up for it.

When Finnick was away, I sometimes even went to different scheduled "activities" that were always printed on my arm. The only ones that I was really interested in was the classes that discussed what the Rebellion was trying to do, and what they were planning to do once they took over Panem.

Although Finnick was great at explaining things to me, I liked to look into the Rebellion a whole lot more, because I was so interested in the outcome. It was a lot of controversy. Some said that they would like to inflict a whole other Hunger Games on the children of the Capitol.

I strongly disagreed, and made a point to do so in the discussions. They all eventually put up with my stutters, and some even nodded their heads to my argument.

When someone first expressed that they wanted to make another Hunger Games, I immediately stood up and countered them.

"How dare… you say that? Have you ever been in that Arena? Have you ever had to… h-had to watch someone… d-die, right in front of you? Have you?"

The entire room was silent. I stared at the speaker, waiting for an answer that they refused to give. It didn't matter. Everyone knew the answer was 'no.'

"That's what I thought. Y-you have… no say… in the matter."

No one talked about that certain issue in the discussions after that, but I knew that the idea was still stirring in certain people's minds. After this whole war is over, I was determined to get that thought out of their minds.

Those Capitol children did not kill all those other children that were sent to the Hunger Games already. The government did, and look what's happening to them now. We should not repeat those events, for history _always _repeats itself. Always.

My mother decided to go back to District 4. Nothing much was happening there, and I had Finnick make sure that she was being watched over, so no one could take her away.

She had always been happier by the sea. Of course, everyone from my district was, but she just wasn't good at adjusting to anywhere else. I think it made her feel more connected to my dad.

I'd miss her, but at least now I knew that she was okay. Finnick reassured me that if anything completely drastic happened, they could always bring her home, or I could call her on the phones they provided in our Victor House.

And now, I know you guys are wondering about the sex thing. It happened. I was so glad it was him. I was so glad we waited. I was so glad… just about everything, I guess.

I won't give you too many details, because some things have to be private, but let's just say that a "no clothing rule" was insinuated at night.

I went to a lot of training courses so that maybe I would be able to go the Capitol. But Finnick was very supportive of me _not _going. Oh, what a fight that was.

"Annie, you can't go!"

"Why not, Finnick? I-I'm ready! I… can go! I'm prepared! I w-won the Games!"

"Yeah, but look how that turned out!"

That certain comment led me to kick him out of our room, screaming, "Look how you turned out, too! Just as crazy as I am!" and he was forced to roam the halls or go to his stupid pottery class that they had used as a placeholder for that specified time, knowing he would ditch anyway.

I sat on the bed, my face burning with anger at his words. I was fine. I was getting better everyday, but they still wouldn't move me up to higher rankings because Finnick said that they shouldn't because of my "mental instability." Ugh. Sometimes he could be too overprotective.

Also, I just wanted to learn. I didn't have to go in the battle itself, but I at least wanted to learn to shoot and defend myself. Just for safety standards.

He came back an hour later and encircled me. We just sat there for a little, trying to figure out what to say without offending the other. We ended up saying 'I'm sorry' at the same time. I leaned back into him, calm again. We would work something out.

"I just… I don't want to lose you again, Annie."

I smiled sadly and said back, "You won't, I promise. I'm always yours, no matter what, okay?"

He nodded, but still held me tightly, as if he was afraid to let me go. I gently pulled his arms away and looked at him, straight in the eye.

"I won't go into the war, okay? But at least let me learn how. I want to know."

He slowly smiled back at me. "Of course, Annie."

I grinned back and we were lost in each other again.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

That night, he broke me the news of his departure.

I was lying in his arms, ready to sleep, but he woke me up from my almost asleep-ness when he spoke through the silence.

"They want me on a special mission to the Capitol."

The once warm air turned cold when I understood what that meant. He would have to leave. I couldn't go with him.

I was silent, not wanting to say anything. Not knowing what to say. After a few moments of complete reserve, he spoke again, trying to make me understand why.

"Katniss, Peeta, me and a few others are going to try and penetrate the Capitol. They told us that we are the only group of people that can. I couldn't refuse. I tried but… I have to go."

I nodded and tried to stifle the tears that were starting to pour. I didn't want this period of happiness to end. But I guess I knew all along that it would have to.

But what if he didn't come back? What if he… couldn't get home? What would I do?

He heard my muffled sobs and held me tighter to his chest, shifting so we were face to face.

"Look at me Annie. Look at me."

His voice was stern and serious. I looked up into his eyes and was met by fierce determination.

"I _will_ come home to you, Annie. I would promise but that is even more than a promise. It's a guarantee. Got it?"

I nodded again, trying to stop my tears, but they just kept coming. He couldn't leave me. What if I lost myself again? What would I do?

He forced me to sit up and held me like that; me crying into his shoulder, shaking from my silent sobs. He kissed my hair until I had calmed down a little and whispered again to me.

"You are the strongest person I know. You will be fine without me. Trust me. When I get back, it will be like I never left."

We sat in silence until I had stopped crying. He wiped my tears away and we laid back down to sleep. I just had one more question before I was able to sleep.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

It was what I had expected.

I spent the whole night awake with worry. I just laid in his arms, hoping to never have to leave them. I think he stayed awake too, but we didn't acknowledge each other's consciousness. It was a simpler good bye that way.

He got out of bed at around five in the morning. He was silent, but having stayed up, I felt him leave. I got changed when he did. We were silent, just appreciating each other, understanding that talking would just ruin it.

We walked hand in hand out to where the planes were. I kissed him good bye, lingering for as long as I possibly could, before they told him he had to go.

And he was gone.

Just like that.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**Sorry for the short chapter, guys. I'm pretty excited for the next one. I love writing chapters with a lot of feeling. Doesn't matter if it's super sad or happy.**

**BUT YOU GUYS GET TO CHOOSE. SAD OR HAPPY. REVIEW. **

**I really do want you guys to review, as you can tell. It really keeps me motivated and it helps me know what you guys want. I kinda felt like I lost some of you guys, because not many people reviewed, and I was kinda proud of last chapter…**

**So anyways. So few reviews wasn't much of a confidence booster.**

**But the two reviews that I got were! Thanks you two!**

**AnnaMustache: Haha, she just kind of told me that she was reading it… oops, I put sex in it. Oops. She better not tell my parents… anyways. HAHA. WELL GET PEOPLE TO REVIEW. THEN YOU WILL FIND OUT HIS FATE. I enjoy this. I really do [insert sly smile].**

**Peenislover: SEEXXXXXXXX. IT HAPPENS, YO. SEX HAPPENS. New bumper sticker idea. Haha that reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw in the 5****th**** grade: "End abortion, go f**k yourself." But it wasn't exactl censored when I saw it… so that's where I learned my vocabulary! My neighbor's bumper stickers! Huzzah! Haha. Well I am glad that my story is one of the reasons that you are getting to money out of buying your computer (or your parent's money… whatever). THANKS FOR THE REVIEW!**

**PLEASE REVIEW TO FIND OUT HIS FATE!**

**But seriously, I love all my readers. I really do. You make writing this while I should be studying for finals a whole lot more fun. So thank you.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey guys! Sorry this is a little late… but I have been so swamped. It's the end of the year, so finals here I come! So I finally got a free moment to write this… but after, I think you'll have to wait until June 14****th**** or so for another one… leaving you on a cliffhanger ;)**

**Okay, so, wow! Reviews! Yay! I'll make this chapter good, just for all the reviews I got :) But seriously, I know it may be a little crazy, but I would love, love, LOVE 100 reviews. Like. I would through myself a party. So, PLEASE. I AM BEGGING YOU TO REVIEW.**

**Well, this is… gonna be sad. Just a warning to you. I have my sad playlist ready to go for this. That's right.**

**Songs I am listening to you (if you care to join me): "The A Team" by" Ed Sheeran, "Without You Here" by: The Goo Goo Dolls, "Come Home" by: OneRepublic, "Colorblind" by: Counting Crows, "Broken" by: Tracy Chapman, "My Love" by: Sia and "The Promise" by: Tracy Chapman.**

**Read on to find out his fate!**

Chapter 21

When Finnick left, my life became a daily routine of monotony. I would wake up, stay in bed through breakfast, not wanting or caring enough to get food, and then maybe go to a few discussions during the day. I would mostly just play love songs on my piano, and think about him as I sang.

They made me the happiest, because it felt like he was there with me.

Sometimes, I would visit Johanna. I kept her company when she was in the hospital, because of her meltdown with the water, and we talked a lot in the hallways. She brought me away from worrying about Finnick, because talking about him bothered her.

I understood that. Nothing's more annoying than someone incessantly talking about their loved one. It was amazing at how much we could talk about. There was rarely ever a point of silence, but when there was, it was a comfortable kind of quiet.

The only really interesting thing that happened in the few weeks of Finnick's departure was the installment of new technology-enhanced toilets. I know, seems boring, but it was actually pretty cool.

Because of the past outbreaks of sickness, Beetee made toilets that, from your urine, figured out if you were sick or not. If you were, then you had to go straight to the hospital to get checked out.

If you were fine, there was a short little _ding_ after you flushed. If you were sick, there was a continuous beeping sound until you had confirmed that you had seen you diagnosis and was going to the hospital.

They didn't give me much updates on Finnick's whereabouts, just enough to let me know that he was okay. That knowledge kept me sane enough not to get completely lost in my madness, but I would still get sucked in.

On bad days, Johanna let me sleep in her room, because my nightmares got so bad. She pretended to be annoyed with me, but I could still tell that she found my presence soothing. It was good to have a friend.

One day, I was playing my piano to the song, "My Love," by: Sia, when there was a brisk knock on my door and someone saying my name. It was Johanna.

I opened the door with a smile, but was stopped in my tracks when I saw the look on her face.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Finnick's POV:

They were following us. I was in the back of course, trying to get out as many people as I could. Katniss had to get out, they all did. They needed to stop this.

As I ran, I could hear those godforsaken mutts coming closer and closer, creeping up on me from behind. My heart went into my throat and I almost screamed, but I could not show my panic. I needed to be brave.

I could almost feel their breath on my neck, and could smell them getting closer and closer. They had found a way out of the sewer, but I could already tell that I was too far behind. I accepted my fate even before anyone else had.

Never the less, I jumped to the ladder that led to the outside, and I caught a glimpse of the beautiful blue sky. It reminded me of the sea; of my home. Of my Annie.

I felt their claws on my skin, and one bit my leg, making me yell in pain. I looked up to see Katniss' face, creasing from pity and sadness, and I knew that I was gone.

Right before its teeth clenched at my bare neck, I saw my life flash before my eyes.

The ocean.

Getting that one silver parachute that saved my life in the arena.

Green eyes.

Brown, beautiful hair.

A smile.

Annie.

And there was darkness.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Annie's POV:

"Annie. He's dead. Finnick's… dead."

I could not move. I was rooted to the spot. My mind could not, _would_ not, process her words. He couldn't be dead! There was absolutely no way that was possible. He promised me he would be back. And so he would. He had to.

Johanna stood there too, staring at me with more pity than I had ever seen her give.

I shook my head. She reached her hands out to me to try and give me some form of comfort, but I pushed her away.

I didn't need comfort. He was fine. He'd be home.

She pulled away and got angry with me. "Annie…" she said crossly.

"No! He's not dead! HE SAID HE WOULD COME HOME," I yelled at her, slamming the door in her face, locking myself from the outside world.

I sat on my bed, not letting myself think. I just stared at the door; waiting for him to walk through it and take me into his arms again.

For 3 days, I stared at the doorway, ignoring all of the knocks and yelling that was coming from the outside. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat. I did not move.

On the third day, I began to get a little delirious. Flashes of words went before my eyes. Lyrics to song I had heard once, or just loved but hadn't taken the time to sing or play on my piano before.

They all seemed to be hinting at reality.

_It's too cold outside_

_For angels to fly_

_An angel will die_

_Covered in white_

_Closed eye_

_And hoping for a better life_

Angels leaped before my eyes, with flowing white dresses. But they weren't like the kind of angels you think about, with the beautiful white gowns and the halos on top of their heads, singing in really high voices.

No. These were like peaceful ghosts, with raggedy nightgowns and closed eyes, swirling around each other, getting closer and closer until I closed my eyes and another set of lyrics passed before my eyes.

_I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts_

_I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out_

_I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart that's still beating_

This time, I visualized two pieces of a heart, not those cartoon ones but a legitimate heart from inside your chest. One piece was on my left and the other on my right. The one on my left was withered and black, and not beating at all.

The other half was still beating, but it was beginning to sprout patches of black until it was engulfed in fire.

It was still beating when more lyrics passed before my eyes.

_Come home_

_Cause I've been waiting for you_

_For so long_

_The fight for you is all I've ever known_

_Ever known_

_So come home_

This time, I saw a funeral. It was from afar, but I got the jist of it. They were burying the person, slowly lowering the casket into the earth. They placed roses, red as blood, all around it.

Some petals blew away and the blood from them trickled down and onto my hand that clenched into a fist. It slowly trickled down until more words flashed in front of my eyes.

_You took my hand added a plan_

_You gave me your heart_

_I asked you to dance with me_

_My love, leave yourself behind_

_Beat inside me, _

_I'll be with you_

And on that 3rd day, I finally understood the truth. Finnick wasn't coming home.

He was dead.

I sat on the bed just for one more moment, processing that fact. And in that moment, I lost myself.

All of demons grabbed at me, pulling me with cold, dead fingers into the abyss of darkness, blood and screams. I tried to scream in torment, but nothing would come out. I clawed at my hair and skin until I finally calmed down enough to try and understand my thoughts.

I couldn't live with myself. I couldn't live with this terror.

I couldn't live.

I had to die.

I slowly walked into the bathroom, finally accepting my fate. I calmly reached into the cupboard to check that the razor that Finnick shaved with was still there. It was. I smiled a little, thinking of Finnick. How, soon, I wouldn't have to be crazy anymore.

I closed the cupboard and did my business, since I really could not wait a second longer. I stood up, and opened the cupboard again, picking up the cold razor. I shivered at the touch and set it on the sink for a moment.

Would it be quick? Of course not, I would have to bleed to death. But it would be worth it wouldn't it? I wouldn't have to be insane anymore. I wouldn't have to weigh anyone down. I could just be me- just Finnick and me. It would be okay. Finally.

I picked up the blade and set it on my left wrist, which sent a chill up my spine. I took a deep breath, and was about to pull it across my skin, when I heard the beeping that was coming from the toilet.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Finnick's POV:

I closed my eyes, and saw Annie's face resonating beneath my eyelids. It was her on our wedding night.

She was beautiful.

That's when I knew that I couldn't just give up like that. I had to at least _try _to live for her. I had to get home to her- I was not breaking another promise.

I opened my eyes, and with my last piece of strength, flung myself into the boiling river of acid that flowed inside the sewer. Unfortunately, the lizard mutations came with me.

As soon as I hit the acid river, there was a boom above my head, and screams of the mutts soon after.

The acid burned. My entire body was on fire. It slowly scarred my skin away, leaving it raw and blistering. I was underneath the acidic waters, so no one else heard my screams.

The few mutts that had followed me into the river died slow and painful deaths, right before my eyes. It may have been a good thing that they were now gone, but it made me panic that I would be next. And it felt like it would.

I waited for what seemed like millennia until I had made sure that there were no more mutations left to maul me. I emerged from the river, and as soon as my face hit the air, a whole other pain consumed me, causing me a few more moments of anguish.

As soon as I felt that I could get out of the acid, the river began to pick up in speed, and ahead I saw a drop-off of acid. I didn't know where it led, but I knew for a fact that it was a place I did not want to be.

I frantically tried to swim back, but being close to a bloodied pulp, there was not much I could do to stop the fall. My heart sped up in my chest, and I was almost swept over the side, until I caught a glimpse of a piece of rock sticking out from the walls that kept this acid river enclosed.

With my last strength, I swam over to it and just managed to grip as my legs went off the edge of the cliff. I dragged myself over the edge and laid on the stone for a while, taking in solid and non-acidic ground.

I just wanted to stay there forever, soaking it all in, but I knew I had to move. I needed to get to somewhere so that I could get home. Limping, I leaned on the wall for support until I found a ladder.

I sucked in a deep breath and slowly climbed it, wincing from the absolute agony until I finally reached the outside. Luckily, no one seemed to be on the street. It was still a little bit light out, the sun was setting, but I didn't dare look at myself. I knew that I was just a bloodied mess. I didn't need to look at it.

I broke into one of the empty houses, climbing through a window, not even caring when I got stuck with some glass. It barely added to the pain that was already there.

I stumbled into their kitchen, and saw the phone there. I dialed the only number I could think of, but my fingers shook so hard that it took me a few tries to get it right. As soon as I heard his voice on the other end, I could only get a few words out before completely blacking out.

"Please… help."

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

As soon as I heard the beeping from the toilet, I put down the razor down and walked over to it. I didn't feel sick at all, why would it say otherwise? I guess this would make them come and find me faster, since they now know that I got up and am also sick in some way.

I had to squint to see the letters that were flashing on the tiny screen about the bowl.

_Pregnant- See doctor as soon as possible for check-up._

I stared at the words for a long time, trying to process it. So I wasn't sick at all. I was pregnant.

I unconsciously hit the button that confirmed that I would go to my doctor soon, and slowly walked into my bedroom in complete and utter shock. I sat on our bed, the same place where I was staring at the door for 3 days and listened to my heart beating, trying to wrap my head around this knew information.

My hands shook as I pulled up my shirt to look at my stomach. I slowly rested my hands there, and I felt my heart start beating fast with both elation and slight anxiety. There was someone growing in there.

There was a piece of Finnick in there.

I had something to live for again. I wasn't going to go crazy- I couldn't. I had to be sane, to breathe, to _live_ for this beautiful little baby that was growing inside of me. Everything would be okay.

I finally could accept that he was gone. I clutched my stomach again, rocking back and forth, crying until there were no more tears to fall. Throughout my waterworks, I couldn't help but smile too.

I smiled, because I realized that Finnick didn't break his promise after all.

He had come home after all.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

**I almost scared you there, didn't I? MWUAHAHAHAHA. Evil.**

**SO anyways, two things I would like to be answered in the reviews (please, please, please give me feedback on these!).**

**Would you guys like me to write and alternate ending where he does actually die? I would do a separate one-shot for it, and I would give you the link and everything. Because some of you said that even though you did want Finnick to live, it would be cool to see Annie's reaction to his death as well. Let me know!**

**AnnaMustache had a genius idea! It requires for me to have a bit of work, but I will gladly do it if I get enough feedback! She said that she liked how I showed a lot more of Johanna in this story, and that I should make a whole other story about her life and how she lost all of her family, and all that other stuff. Would you guys like that? If enough people say they do, then I will!**

**Wow! So many people wanted Finnick to live! Now let's see if that many people want me to update this as fast as I can ;P**

**AnnaMustache: AHAHAHAHAH. Did I make you cry again? Or did you just have a heart attack when he/she almost died? MWUAHAHA. Was this long enough? Wahoo. Princess Bride is my favorite movie/book in the entire world. Do you want me to the sad ending? And yes, I do take requests! You want me to do so much work, now don't you? I may have to take a summer's hiatus between stories, but I could do that if enough people want me to!**

**HG3: I kept him alive! Yay! I think he deserved to live, don't you think?**

**Gabytahijar: SHE'S PREGGERS! Wait, I forget, is it a boy or a girl in the book? Your answer may not be my choice, for I get to choose now, bitches. I think I may be taking too much love in my power. Oops. **

**LilianRoseDonnovae: HEEE MUUSSTT LLIIIVVEEE. And he did :)**

**The Girl From The Seam: WINKY FACE BACK TO YOU MY DEAR! Good! Katniss and Peeta are fun… I was seriously so conflicted during the book. In the 1****st**** one I wanted her to be with Peeta, in the second one I wanted her to be with Gale but in the 3****rd**** one I did want her to be with Peeta. It made sense, ya know? **

**Idonthaveaname: Well… this wasn't exactly HAPPY per say, but he lived! Huzzah for life! I cried too- that's why I decided that he had to live. It just wasn't fair. I HAVE CRIED OVER BOOKS THAN OVER MOVIES, AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING! Yeah, I don't know how that happens either… whatever. I got a crap ton of reviews last chapter! So yay! And thanks so much! Keep reviewing and let me know about the Johanna story. I'm curious as to what you would think.**

**Barry: Thank you!**

**Taco: Awesome name, by the way. Nice choice. And it was a happy ending so yay!**

**PLEASE REVIEW TO MY QUESTIONS. I really want to know what you think.**

**Thanks so much! LOVE YOU GUYS. See you on June 14****th**** or** **so!**


	22. Chapter 22

**a/n**

**I'M BAAACCCKKKKKK. Sorry, not the exact date I had planned, but hey, I got a life besides this one! The time went by so fast… hehe on Saturday I'll be gone for a month to sleepaway camp… I'm trying to drag this out as long as I can ;)**

**Just kidding, but I'm so sorry! Seriously! Please forgive me.**

**Wow! 88 reviews! OH MYYYYYYYY GOOODDDDDNNNEEESSSS.**

**Seriously you guys. If I get more 12 reviews. I will cry from happiness. You don't understand. Actually, those of you who do write probably do, but those who don't. I will literally do a split (okay, I used literally wrong, because that won't happen. I apologize fellow writers).**

**Last week I DID get "most likely to be an English teacher" while doing superlatives in my English class, which made me happy.**

**All righty, and now to chapter 22!**

**Oh! And my knew favorite band is Daughter. If you are interested, look up "Youth" and "Candles" by them. Absolutely gorgeous!**

**Again, part of this description is not for the faint-hearted. There's a description of Finnick after they find him and he is grody because MORE THAN HALF HIS SKIN WAS MELTED OFF BY THE ACID. So yeah. If you want to look away, you can.**

**Wow, I just reminded myself of Harvey Dent/Two-Face. Probably because I recently watched "The Dark Knight" for the first time. HEHE.**

**Chapter 22**

Annie's POV:

I let the tears pour down my cheeks as I caressed my stomach, imagining that I was comforting my baby as well as myself. My heart felt heavy in my chest, weighing me down, but I was determined not to lie down and give up on life.

I was determined to be okay. I had to be okay, for this little human inside of me.

At the thought of my new baby, I smiled through the tears. I closed my eyes and thought of what it would look like. If it was a boy, I hoped that it would get Finnick's golden hair. If it was a girl, I hoped for his dimples. If anything, I wanted he/she to have his eyes.

At that thought, I was suddenly awash in his eyes again. My heart felt a pang of sadness, but I just sat, grateful for the feel of his presence. Under my eyelids, I imagined he was right by my side, whispering sweet things to me into the wee hours.

I fell asleep to sound of his soft voice whispering in my ear, "I love you."

I was startled awake from my dreams when there was a loud knock on my door and yelling from outside. I recognized the voice to be Joanna.

"ANNIE GET YOUR ASS UP AND OPEN THE DOOR. SO HELP ME I WILL GET A HEAVY WEAPON IF NECESSARY TO BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR. OPEN UP. OPEN UP!"

She pounded on the door until I groaned and got up out of bed and unlocked the door for her. She burst into the room and grabbed me by the shoulder.

"Don't you _ever_ do that to me again! Locking me out for 3 days… You look like shit."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks…"

She gazed at me for a moment before her face changed again.

"Annie. He's alive."

I just blankly stared at her and waited for her to explain. They had made it quite clear that there was no way he could have survived… I could hardly believe it.

"They found him in one of the abandoned houses. He called Haymitch before he passed out entirely. Annie… it's really bad. They're not sure if he'll make it. They told me not to tell you because of that… but I thought you should know."

I took a deep breath, trying to get air into my lungs because I felt like I was suffocating. I could barely speak, but I managed to choke out, "Where is he?"

Joanna looked at my with pity. "I'm not supposed to tell you…"

I grabbed her shoulders and practically shouted, "WHERE IS HE?"

She quickly moved my weak arms off of her and said, "He's in the south wing of the hospital. Intensive Care. I wasn't the one who told you, okay?"

I barely heard her, for I had already started to run down the hallway when she told me where he was. I faintly heard her yell, "GOOD LUCK!" down the vacant hallway as I turned and ran to the elevator.

I could barely process anything in that moment. The time was lost to me, but as I looked around, I figured it was in the middle of the night or the early morning, because no one was around.

I tried not to focus on the possibility that I could see him, and then he'd be gone forever. I'd live. I'd have to.

I burst through the white doors of the ICU and was met by a tired woman at the front desk. Not very much life was going on in the rooms, but beyond the other white doors I could hear a flurry of life behind them, and saw in the little windows the amount of doctors rushing around.

On instinct, I slowly began to move towards the madness, pushing past the man who was trying to tell me that I wasn't allowed back there. I needed to see him. I needed to know that he was alive.

I opened the doors. None of the doctors seemed to notice me at all; they were all worked up in their own special job to keep my husband alive. My heart skipped a beat in my chest when I remembered that he was my husband. I still couldn't help but love the fact that we were married… no. We _are _married. No past tense. Not yet.

The receptionist gave up on trying to get me away from the doors, and so I was free to roam around and look for him. It didn't take long.

I heard a nurse yell down the hall, "He's coming!" and from around the corner, he was rushed into the hallway and into the surgery room. I only got a brief sight of him, but it was enough.

There were bandages up and down his body that had tried to stop the continuous bleeding that seemed to be coming from every possible part of his body. It seemed like they hadn't had enough bandages, and so there were random parts of his body sticking out.

Where his skin was supposed to be, all that was left was raw, festering flesh. Over his entire body. There seemed to be almost no skin left, except for his face, which seemed to be touched a little by whatever it was that had left him this way. He looked too pale to be alive. His eyes were closed and he was immobile.

I watched from the windows outside of the room as he was hooked up to the monitors and they began working on him. Only the soft beeping coming from the monitor kept me knowing that he was alive. Other wise I wouldn't have thought he was.

I watched them for a while, not really processing what was going on, but really just staring at the monitor that showed his heart rate, as if that kept me alive as well as he. I watched until one of the nurses noticed me and pulled down the blinds.

I continued to stand there, even after they pulled me away from him. I just felt so hollow. I had already lost him, and now with the hope of him being alive, could I really handle lose him again?

I tried to think that I could, but I wasn't sure this time.

After getting tired of standing, I walked backwards and sat against the wall opposite the operating room, still staring at the blank window. All I could see on that blank canvas of the white blinds was them rushing him in.

Eventually I closed my eyes and began to dream.

I was in a field. There were no clouds in the sky, and I could not see any landmarks for miles; just yellow grass that reached the tops of my knees. I looked down and saw myself in a white dress that just reached the tops of the grass.

The only thing that I could sense throughout the emptiness of the landscape was the sound of a child crying. I ran towards the noise, trying desperately to find the baby and stop it's endless wails.

After running for what seemed like miles, but I couldn't tell with the endless landscape, I came upon a big abyss. The baby's cries resonated off the walls, but I could hear different, devilish shrieks coming up from the black hole as well. I almost got lost in the screams of the demons and was glued to spot at the images that the smoke made as it rose from the darkness.

I watched, mesmerized at all of the memories and nightmares that screamed at me from the fog, but the most recent one, the one of Finnick's dead looking face, snapped me back to where I was. I needed to help that baby.

It was still crying as I slowly made my way down the abyss, making my way along the sides that were rocky and provided me a long ladder to get down to the bottom.

Once I reached the bottom, the screams of the baby and the ghosts that followed me everywhere were as loud as I had ever heard them. They pounded at the insides of my head, giving me a massive headache, but I kept moving towards the yells.

Finally in the darkness I came upon the child. It was so early in age, maybe a week old, and so I couldn't tell its gender. It kept wailing, and tugging at something that was attached to its arm. I looked closer, and saw a bloody hand clutching at the child, not letting it get away.

I rushed over and grabbed the baby, trying to rip it away from the hand. But as I pulled, the body attached to the hand came into my view. Not only the hand was bloody, but the entire corpse was as well. At first, it looked to be dead, but then it opened its eyes.

They were blue, like the sea.

My heart flew up into my throat, and I felt myself choking on it as I watched the seemingly dead body tried to pull itself off the ground, but failing in the process. It slowly crawled over to me and grabbed at my ankle, but I felt nothing. Its hand just passed through my flesh.

I couldn't move. I just watched as it got frustrated, swatting at my legs, trying to do something to try and get to the baby. But I lifted the child as far as I could, now quietly looking at the thing on the ground with me. I wasn't so much scared as I was sad.

I began to cry. My tear fell onto the body and it suddenly looked up at me with its sapphire eyes. They pleaded me to help it get back to that baby, but I pulled the newborn higher. It reached up its hand in one last attempt but I whispered into the darkness, "no."

As soon as I spoke, the screams all around me grew louder and louder as I ran from the corpse with the baby whose hands were hugging around my neck, hanging on as I ran to get out of the pit.

The walls shrank and in a single step up, I was back into the endless field. I hugged the child back when I got out, and rocked it back and forth for a while, trying to sooth it's tiny sobs into my shoulder. I stares at the abyss as it was swallowed up by the earth, getting smaller and smaller before my eyes.

The child stopped crying when it was almost out of sight, and I pulled it away from my shoulder, so it was facing me. It looked up at me, and its eyes were an exact copy of the corpse's. I gasped, and let go of it in my shock.

It looked at me in a last sorrowful look, and the second before it hit the ground it turned into dust and was swept away by the wind. I stood and watched it leave until someone woke me up from my slumber.

I woke up to a nurse nudging my shoulder telling me that I had to move so that no one died because of me blocking the hallway. She had a smile though, so I nodded and got up with help from her. My back hurt like hell so I had to stretch for a moment before giving my full attention to her.

The nurse had frizzy orange hair that looked like it was especially frizzy that day because of recent events. Pieces of hair were sticking out all around her head and I almost laughed at the sight. She looked just a tiny bit crazed. But hey, we've all been there: especially me.

When she spoke, she sounded tired but had a sweet tone to her that I liked. "Hi sweetie, I'm Nurse Andrea. You must be Annie Odair, am I right?"

I nodded slowly, silently vowing to myself to never change my last name, even if he… moved on.

She continued after my acknowledgement. "Okay. Would you like to know what happened to your husband?"

My face turned pale when I noticed the past tense in her tone. Was he gone already? Again?

She noticed my face and backtracked for a moment. "Oh, he's alive! No need to mourn yet."

I swallowed, trying to get rid of my dry throat. "Yet?"

She sighed, and gestured for me to walk down the hall with her. I followed her, awaiting for an answer.

"Yes, yet. He went through a lot of trauma in the Capitol. He had two major bites from some sort of muttation that they had over there, from the tests it seemed to be lizard-like and highly poisonous. We got as much poison as we could out of his system, but we still aren't quite sure how much is left."

I had to remind myself to breathe. "Is… is that why he was so b-bloody?"

She sighed again, sitting down in a waiting chair and patted the seat next to her as a way to tell me to sit down. I refused and continued to stand, staring down at her and just waiting for some sort of answer.

"Unfortunately, no. It seems that he was pulled into some vat of acid, some are considering the sewers near the chemical factory down there, and it burned about 70% of his skin clear off, and the other 30% were still touched by the horrible stuff. We managed to get as much skin grafts as we could for him, but there will still be patches of him that will need to grow his own skin."

He tried to come home. He tried to come home by saving himself in a river of acid. I almost burst into tears right there, but I was determined not to cry. I needed to stay strong now. No more crying.

"Where… is he n-now?"

"After the skin grafts, he has yet to show any signs of life besides his steady heartbeat. His doctor recently diagnosed him with a coma just a few hours ago. It is still unsure when or even if he will wake up from it."

I nodded slowly and finally sat down in the chair. She reached over and patted me on the shoulder as if that could console me at all. I just sat perfectly still, staring into space.

"A-am I allowed to see him?"

She shook her head. "Not right now. He still has to go through a bit more tests and surgeries, but he should be ready to take a visitor tomorrow."

I nodded and leaned back into my chair, trying to figure out what was going to happen to me. What would happen next? I hated to think of a next disaster, so I just cleared my mind. Not as easy as it is to write, but I eventually found calm. My hand automatically found my stomach and I just laid my hand there, trying to imagine me actually comforting my little baby.

The nurse watched me carefully, and understood immediately. "I'm so sorry, honey. I hope everything turns out to be okay."

I gave her a brief smile and continued to think of nothing, and yet everything at the same time until my thoughts were interrupted by the secretary at the front desk.

"Annie Odair?"

I looked up at the woman and raised my hand slightly, not wanting to get up from my comfortable position in my chair.

"Dr. Pavini wants to see you on the second door, in the West Wing."

I sighed. It was only so long that I could avoid this doctor's visit. As I was in the elevator, I finally realized how absolutely _starving_ I was! I hadn't eaten in about three days at that point. Maybe I could get Dr. P give me a pass to get anything I wanted for lunch and dinner.

I stepped out and walked down the sleek white hallways and couldn't help but wonder what he would ask me. I really did like the man. He was one of the few people that I rarely loose my control of my ability to speak around. Finnick was the only who was able to bring out the best in my speaking abilities. Well, more like the best of me in general.

I missed him already, even though I knew he was only up a mere matter of floors. But I needed to figure this shit out. My baby awaited me.

I walked into the door marked, "Mr. Pavini," and saw him waiting for me there. I automatically laid down on the white sheets and waited for him to speak. He usually just talked while I listened, me occasionally nodding or shaking my head at questions he asked. Sometimes after the questions he paused after his questions to see if I would speak. I never did.

"So, Annie, I hear you are pregnant."

A nod from me in return. There was a bit of an awkward pause and then he continued.

"How far along are you, do you think?"

I shrugged my shoulders. Pause.

"Okay then, we'll just do a couple of standard tests for this kind of thing and then you are free to go."

I nodded and stared at the ceiling for a while, waiting to hear the door open and close behind him, but I heard nothing. I looked over and he was just sitting there looking at me. I tried to raise my eyebrow but ended up giving him an… interesting confused look.

He sighed. "Annie, I heard about your sad, sad news. I'm so sorry, sweetie. He will be missed."

I almost opened my mouth to tell him, "No, he's still alive! His heart is beating right up stairs," but then I realized that I wasn't even supposed to know about Finnick being alive. Coin seemed to not want anyone to know that he was alive. I should probably be quiet about this until I figured out why this was being kept quiet.

I just nodded and feigned sadness, which really, was not hard to do when you still considered my circumstances. He patted my knee lightly and then left the room without another word. I sighed deeply and stared at the ceiling, trying not to cry even more. I was done with crying.

Turns out the baby growing inside of me was only a month old or so. I figured just as much, but it was still nice to know that it was there. Dr. Pavini suggested that I not tell anyone about it until the second trimester or so, because there could be complications and what not.

I went to Joanna's room and told her anyway. Not telling people reminded me too much of Coin not telling people about Finnick, and that bothered me. I wanted, _needed_ this to be real. Joanna smiled in celebration with me, the amount that she could without breaking her hard-core façade.

She let me sleep in her room that night, just to have someone there. She grumbled a little when I fell asleep on her bed, but later on I felt her pull the covers over my shoulder and fall asleep next to me. I smiled a little and then fell asleep, dreaming of the futures that I hoped to have, and the futures that I dreaded in my heart.

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**WOW. THIS TOOK ME A WHILE TO FINISH.**

**My bad, folks. Sorry about that one. Summer just… took me by storm. BUT HEY. HERE IT IS. I FINISHED IT… two days before I leave for camp for a month. Hehe.**

**So yes, starting June 30****th**** I will be away for a month. I will try to get home and work right away, but y'all should know me by now. But trust me when I say that I will try!**

**AND HEY! I got a tumblr! Follow me at: kateemley. It's a party!**

**I LOVE YOU ALL SERIOUSLY AND 100 REVIEWS WHEN I GET BACK FROM CAMP WOULD BE THE BEST COMING BACK PRESENT EVER. **

**Reviews:**

AnnaMustache: Oh, your brother. I would have laughed if you actually puked (okay, no I wouldn't… wait, yes, yes I would have). All right, if I get 100 reviews I'll do the alternate ending. 100 REVIEEWWWSSS.

HG3: He lived in my mind as well (as you can see). You see now there is a bit of drama because Coin isn't telling anyone that he's alive! Gasp!

Gabytahijar: MWUAHAHAHAHAHA. I noticed there was quite the bit of bipolarness here… "I fucking hate you" turns to "I fucking love you" in just two sentences. Well, I fucking love/hate you too. YOU ARE FINNICKING AWESOME TOO.

Idonthaveaname: Yeah, I knew you were curious about who he called, and since you commented I was thinking about following up on that, but then I got a little braindead and lazy. Sorry about that. But THANKS ANYWAY!

The Girl From The Seam: YOU LISTENED TO THE MUSIC? *APPLAUDS AND DOES A LITTLE DANCE* I KNEW SOMEONE WOULD LISTEN TO IT. YAYYYY. PEENISS IS THE BEST, YO. I feel like making that someone's couple name would be a reason for their names such as: peter and Katnis. Penis. For the win. Also reminds me of people who call Finnick and Annie "Fannie." Oh, the internet.

: "So i really want Finnick to live so Annie doesnt have some emotional breakdown or something." And she hasn't already? Just kidding haha I get what you're saying. And I agree, the toilets are very creepy, but that just adds to how District Thirteen is beginning to make Annie creeped out and stuff. And yes, "June 14th, the world will be waiting"… for a long time after wards. My bad.

Feel free to chastise my lateness in reviews. SEE Y'ALL IN A MONTH OR SO. I'LL MISS YOU! (follow me on tumbler XD).

Another good song for Finnick and Annie just in general: "Tomorrow" by: Daughter


	23. Chapter 23

**Hi guys. So I don't have much to say. At this point, I don't know how much of my words of apology are going to do anything, but I offer them anyway: I am so sorry for being away so long. There is no excuse, not really. I can make many, but to not update so long is ridiculous, and I know that as much as you do. Trust me.**

**I just need to finish this. Feel free to tell me how awful I was for leaving you guys in the reviews.**

**This could be the last chapter, I'm not sure I have to write it. But here you go.**

**I hope you can overlook my absence and just enjoy the last chapter/s :)**

Chapter 23

My life after Finnick came home felt like a flipbook. A flipbook, like where people would draw pictures on separate pieces of paper and they would slightly change each time, so it would look like it was moving. That was my life; ever so slightly changing so it would appear to be going forward, but still no movement.

Everyday I sat next to Finnick's hospital and waited for something, _anything_ to happen. But nothing did. The only sign that there was any passage of time was my slowly growing stomach. It had been two months since he had been in a coma, and nothing was happening. The doctors said he was stable, but there was nothing they could do to get him out of this state. He may never wake up again.

We beat the Capitol in the war that waged on without Finnick and I. They brought me in to vote on whether they should have a Hunger Games again with the government. I voted no. I was overruled, and so I came back to Finnick. There was nothing else I could do.

When I found out that Katniss had killed Coin, I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. But I understood. I left the Capitol thinking that the new government was to be corrupt as the old one, and it seemed Katniss knew that as well as I.

A week after they asked me if I wanted to bring Finnick back to a District 4 Hospital. At first I said no. I didn't want any more change; I didn't think I could bare it. I had gotten so used to the routine at District 13, but I knew in my heart I had to go.

I just packed my bags and left; there was no one to say goodbye to. Joanna was in the Capitol doing whatever needed to be done and everyone else were strewn throughout their own districts. It made me sad to watch how far apart everyone was from each other. It made me feel even more alone.

They flew us to District 4 and landed at the hospital where he was moved to a small room on the first floor. The first floor was a place for those who didn't need much help, either because they were meant to die or we were just waiting for them to live again. They wouldn't tell me which he was.

At first, I told him everything. I told him all that I was feeling, how much I missed him, about the baby. I tried to feel like he was there, that he was listening. I tried to hold on to the memory of him for so long.

As the weeks went by, seeing him wasn't much of a necessity but just part of my routine. I just had to go, there was no way out of it. Seeing him lying there only made me miss him more. It felt like he had already died, like I was just sitting there with a ghost of him.

Sometimes I would yell at him. Just yell at this body lying in front of me. I asked him why he had left me, I asked him why he had even gone. Why, why, why, over and over again until someone heard me and had to make me leave.

Sometimes I would just cry. Just sit by his side, hold his hand and cry. During those times, I prayed he couldn't actually hear me. The doctors told me he most likely could, so that I might want to hold back, but I didn't care.

My therapist soon convinced me to not go to him everyday, but only once every three days, so I could try and feel better without him. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that I could only feel better with him, but in my heart I knew she was right. So that's what I did.

I began to teach music lessons with my mother again which made me genuinely happy. I let music try and fill up the hole that Finnick had left me with, and seemed to almost be working. Almost. I still felt it every day. But I was happier.

I cut down to seeing Finnick to twice a week and spent the rest of my days teaching and playing music. I went back to Lisa's music store and was reunited with Rose and Gabriel. Gabe had found another girl, just like I had told him, and was getting married in a few weeks. I congratulated him with all of my heart but still couldn't help but feel sad a little.

I stopped crying and yelling at Finnick when I went to see him. I just talked to him about my week and how I was feeling better and how I missed him. I tried to pretend like he was there. I tried to pretend that he could hear me. I tried so hard to believe that he would be okay.

I tried until I almost believed it. Almost.

One week I forgot to go see him. I got caught up in chatting with Rose and she ended up taking me out with all of her friends. I laughed and chatted with a bunch of cool new people and had no thought of Finnick for the first time in months. It felt almost… nice.

I got back to my empty house smiling; my grin immediately left my face knowing that it was an emptiness that could never truly be filled again. I fell to my knees and just sobbed for hours on end. No tears came from my eyes; I had no more to shed. But I sobbed until my chest hurt nonetheless. I just… didn't know what to do anymore.

Eventually I found myself holding my stomach, something I would just do unconsciously, just to know that it was still there. My little baby growing inside me. Finnick's baby. As soon as I grasped my stomach I began thinking about him/her.

Would I be a good mother? Would I be this much of a mess when it came? I knew the answer to that one: I couldn't be. Not for this baby. It deserved so much more than this jumble of a person lying on the floor of her house.

When I was finally done weeping, it was in the early morning, maybe about 4 a.m. I stood up with a newfound courage, finally understanding what I had to do. I put on a scarf and warm jacket and I walked outside to the early morning air. I let it hit my face and wash over me, trying to find some encouragement from it.

I walked to the hospital. I usually rode my bike over for it was about an hour-long walk, but I needed time to figure out what exactly to say. When I finally got to there I had a whole little speech planned out in my head.

I smiled at the receptionist briefly before turning left and heading into his room. There was a doctor there checking his vitals and informed me once again that Finnick's condition was stable but was unchanged, a diagnosis I was used to by now.

He left soon after and I sat alone in my usual chair next to the bed. For a while I just stared at the ghost of my Finnick. He looked different know: his face looked sullen and skinnier and his hair had lost it's gold tone. Staring at him reminded me of how much I missed seeing his eyes. I forgot what the looked like.

I spoke through the silence that had been gnawing at me since I had gotten there.

"Yesterday I forgot to come see you. Not because I physically couldn't, you just… didn't cross my mind. I was having fun and smiling and just forgot about everything. I know that I should do that, because you aren't really gone. You're right in front of me. But it sure does feel like your gone."

I paused to let that sink in. The words shocked me as much as they would have shocked him if he could hear me. But they needed to be said. I could feel it.

"Thinking about yesterday makes me sad, but I think it also hints to something bigger. Something that I should have known, but I just couldn't bare to accept. That… I can be okay without you."

My voice was breaking now from the tears I had been waiting to shed. They silently rolled down my cheeks as I moved on.

"I never thought I could be, Finnick. I really didn't. But I need to. I have to, for this baby and… for me. And I just wanted to tell you that it's okay. It's okay for you to leave me now. I'll be okay. You don't have to hang on for me anymore. It's… okay."

I wiped my tears away and slowly climbed into the bed next to him. I kissed his cheek, whispered "I love you," and fell asleep next to him for what I was sure the last time.

I was woken up to the sound of frantic beeping from his monitor and doctors rushing into the room. He still hadn't moved.

In a daze I walked out of the room and barely heard the doctors screaming orders behind me. I turned the corner to go to the doors and I walked past receptionist. She obviously hadn't realized that the sudden rush of medical help was because of Finnick, so she said the usual question when I would leave.

"Will we be expecting you anytime soon, Mrs. Odair?"

I slowly turned to look at her and shook me head.

"No, you won't."

And I was gone.

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**Happy returns, I know! I actually planned to upload this alongside with the next chapter so you wouldn't be on edge too much, but I have decided to put this up and lean on reviews as motivators for the next one!**

**Please review, even if it is just to chastise me on being 6 months late to upload. Trust me, I know I deserve it. I just want to know if there is anyone still reading!**

**AnnaMustache: I finally uploaded! HUZZAH! I deserve a high five or something. Maybe a slap in the face for taking so long but… something.**

**Guest: I must say reading your 8 reviews since I last uploaded made me feel the worst about abandoning this story. Ughughugh I am so sorry. Truly.**

**IAmTheMockingjay: I didn't really give up on this story… I just didn't feel motivated. Not because of any reviews, I just didn't have time and… yeah I don't have a good excuse.**

**gabytahijar: Yeah, I'm okay. I was okay too I just needed a break during the summer and then that break just continued… but my New Year's Resolution was to finish at least one unfinished thing and it will be this story!**

**FistPump: I'm sorry for leaving you hanging! And still… leaving you hanging… with this upload… whoops.**

**Shae101: Congrats, you reviewed this story on 11/20/12, 5 months after it's last upload. Not gonna lie, that is very touching to me :) **

**If you want to listen to what I was listening to while writing this chapter listen to, "The Swell Season." To find it on youtube you have to look up "The Swell Season The Swell Season" because it is on the album from its title. It really set the tone of this chapter so I would suggest it.**

**Again, there is not enough space in the world to tell you all how sorry I am. Please stick with me, I am already working on the next chapter!**


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